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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24375412">But I Like One Piece</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BritishAssistant/pseuds/BritishAssistant'>BritishAssistant</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pirates and/or Ninjas [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto, One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Because you never finished the series in your past life, Cooking, Fandom Allusions &amp; Cliches &amp; References, Food, Isekai, Iwagakure | Hidden Stone Village, Kirigakure | Hidden Mist Village, Konohagakure | Hidden Leaf Village, Kumogakure | Hidden Cloud Village, Making Kami out of your favorite characters, Meme lord, Multi, Naruto fandom - Freeform, Nobody eats well in the Naruto universe, One Piece Fandom, Pirates vs Ninjas, Reincarnation, Samurai, They’re only memes if you recognize them, and Sanji thinks that’s terrible, iron country, nerds, smashmouth - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:55:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>64,638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24375412</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BritishAssistant/pseuds/BritishAssistant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A tale of reincarnation, food, and becoming more involved with a rival fandom than you ever wanted to be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Other Relationship Tags to Be Added</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pirates and/or Ninjas [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>486</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>A Collection of Beloved Inserts, Amazing OFC fanfiction, Fanfics To Read Over and Over, Reincarnation and Transmigration</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was twenty when she died.</p><p>She’d just graduated with a double first in Literature and Preservation from Exeter. She’d been accepted into a prestigious master’s school in London.</p><p>She’d moved into a basement flat with her best friend and a couple of his friends. She’d been glad to escape her childhood house, where her mum and dad traded vicious words over who was getting how much in the divorce.</p><p>She’d promised her brother she’d get him out too, once she had a stable place that the courts would approve of. She had been due to interview for a job at a big bookstore chain next week.</p><p>And then someone had broken in while her flatmates were out. She shouldn’t have grabbed the knife. That just made the armed man freak out.</p><p>The last thing she remembered was a <em>bang</em>, and the blubbered words “<em>I didn’t mean to!</em>”</p><p> </p><p>She wakes up as a baby.</p><p>She waves her arms around and cries as an unfamiliar lady with brown hair and brown eyes bends down over her crib, hushing her with more urgency than is really warranted.</p><p>Rain hammers down outside and thunder rumbles directly overhead.</p><p>Then a man with blue hair and grey eyes arrives. He stinks of copper, and that makes her wail harder.</p><p>The man and woman confer, words too fast for her to understand.</p><p>Then the man gently presses a cloth which smells chemical and awful to her face, hushing and looking at her with sad eyes while the woman strokes her head.</p><p>She struggles, but eventually swirling red circles dance before her eyes and she succumbs to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>She grows, and learns that she is not anywhere remotely like her home anymore.</p><p>She looks in mirrors and sees grey eyes like the man’s, brown hair like the woman’s, hair too straight, eyes too angular, skin too pale.</p><p>Her new name is Ketsugi Mayu. The woman’s name is Ketsugi Chie, the man’s is Ketsugi Jirou.</p><p>They live in a little house, on the outskirts of a village that’s nothing like the village she previously grew up in. It’s too big, too bustling, with large compounds with symbols decorating the exteriors and brightly painted buildings, flat roofs alternating with asian-style pagodas.</p><p>Faces carved into a mountainside like a bastardization of Mount Rushmore. Huge trees everywhere, though she couldn’t tell you the type. She never was any good at biology.</p><p>Her “parents” escaped to this village from the rainy place before. Both of them work, but the woman takes her with her, or comes back first.</p><p>She gets the feeling their neighbors don’t like them very much.</p><p> </p><p>Despite the electricity for lights and plumbing and cooking, there are not electronic communication devices, not like she knew them. Photography, but no video or animation.</p><p>Calculators and computers are unheard of, abacus and notebooks in their place.</p><p>The food is good though. Fresh and flavorsome, with meals that are usually served in what she mentally called “plate-2-bowls” style, a bowl of rice, a bowl of soup, and a meat or vegetable dish in the center.</p><p>The woman she is supposed to call her “mother” scolded her for ages the first time she dumped the rice out of the bowl onto the plate and tried to eat it that way.</p><p>The man she is supposed to call her “father” just laughed and said how lucky they were to have a daughter who would eat everything given to her.</p><p>And she did. Even if she doesn’t like the flavors, she eats it all and leaves no scraps.</p><p>One Piece taught her that those who waste food are scum, after all. She’ll never learn how the series ended now, so she does her best to live up to the ideals of her favorite characters in its place.</p><p> </p><p>She probably should’ve seen it coming in the end.</p><p>The story she was read at bedtime was called “The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi”. There were constantly people dressed in dark clothes jumping across the roofs.</p><p>There were stalls in the market that sold throwing knives and stars and japanese swords.</p><p>But she didn’t realize exactly what world she’d been reincarnated into until she sees a little boy around her age, with blonde hair and blue eyes and three familiar lines like whisker marks across each cheek.</p><p>He’s racing away from a severe woman dripping with orange paint, cackling even as she screams, “GET <em>BACK</em> HERE NARUTO, YOU LITTLE DEMON!!”</p><p>She’s four, so she promptly bursts into tears and remains in a strop for the rest of the week.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto doesn’t have food.</p><p>It’s <em>dumb</em> and <em>doesn’t involve her</em> and she shouldn’t <em>care</em> because she <em>never even read</em> this series because it was <em>stupid</em> and <em>sexist</em> and <em>dumb</em> and pirates will <em>always</em> be better than ninjas no matter what <em>stupid morons</em> on the internet who have <em>no interpersonal relationships</em> say—</p><p>But Naruto <em>doesn’t have food.</em></p><p>She saw the food vendors at the market slap away his money, yell at him for trying to steal from them, chase him away from their stalls with rotten produce.</p><p>And he goes away empty handed.</p><p>Every. Damn. Time.</p><p>
  <em>Sanji wouldn’t let him go empty handed.</em>
  
</p><p>Fuck.</p><p> </p><p>She buys three lunch boxes and an “easy cook recipes” book from a lady who coos at her.</p><p>She buys extra rice and ingredients so that she doesn’t use up her “family’s” food.</p><p>She decides on a sweeter, more protein-focused meal for breakfast, and presses rashers of bacon and scrambled eggs between slices of crusty bread, filling the compartments with orange slices and strawberries and a plain yogurt.</p><p>For lunch she tries and fails to recreate Ketsugi Chie’s perfectly triangular rice balls filled with salmon, but consoles herself that the cucumber and seaweed salad turned out okay, To make up for it, she sticks a packet of gummies in the dessert bit.</p><p> </p><p>She shadowed him the evening before, and so wakes up obscenely early, tugging on the clothes she wore yesterday.</p><p>She deposits the food outside his door, checks the sticky notes with “BREAKFAST” and “LUNCH” on them are secure.</p><p>Then she raps on the door with all the power her little fists can muster and bolts.</p><p>She’s about halfway down the street when she hears the overexcited whoops and fights to keep a smile off her face.</p><p>That night, when she comes bearing a thermos filled with miso soup and a box with rice, baked salmon with mushrooms, and dango, the other two are stacked neatly outside the door, licked clean.</p><p>She deposits dinner, grabs the other boxes, knocks again, and bolts so she can make curfew.</p><p> </p><p>Here’s her routine.</p><p>She goes to bed and falls asleep instantly after preparing that boy’s breakfast and lunch.</p><p>She wakes up early and runs through the village while the streets are still asleep and deposits his food, collecting his dinner box and the feedback sheet, knocks and goes, avoiding any traps he’s set up to try and catch her on his endless quest for her identity.</p><p>They’re harmless, more intended to snare rather than hurt, and she’s gotten good at dodging.</p><p>She gets home in time for her “parents” to wake up, washes up the box while they shower, and goes upstairs to get ready for the day.</p><p>Ketsugi Jirou makes her run through katas before breakfast. Sometimes he lets her practice with the wooden sword he carries, and laughs when she falls over, kissing her bruises.</p><p>Ketsugi Chie serves breakfast and corrects her table manners and posture. After Jirou has kissed them both and left, she is given lessons in calligraphy and etiquette.</p><p>Sometimes Ketsugi Chie takes her along to her job at a tearoom, and she has to observe as her “mother” elegantly serves the patrons and makes polite conversation.</p><p>Sometimes she’s left to clean the house and study the books on the history of her family. There are many, but more are missing, references they have no source for.</p><p>At lunchtime, she reviews the feedback sheet, making notes of what worked and what didn’t.</p><p>She’s supposed to play outside after lunch, so she runs laps. Once Ketsugi Chie’s shift is over, the woman either collects her from home or goes with her straight to the market for food.</p><p>She begins making Naruto’s portion the moment groceries are put away, serves it hot and runs it over. She picks up the empty lunch boxes and paper, deposits the dinner, knocks, and runs away.</p><p>She eats dinner with her “mother” and “father”. Jirou quizzes her on what she’s learned.</p><p>After dinner she washes up the dishes and makes tomorrow’s lunch and breakfast while her parents tell her a bedtime story.</p><p>Then she cleans up after herself, and goes to bed, falling asleep instantly.</p><p> </p><p>It’d be nice if this could last.</p><p>So of course, the next time she deposits breakfast and lunch, an adult dressed in black with a white mask tackles her to the ground.</p><p>She barely avoids spilling the food, clutching it to her chest with one arm as the other is twisted viciously behind her back.</p><p>She screams, tries to kick out, but her legs are too little, she can’t hurt the bastard—</p><p>The lunchboxes creak ominously under her.</p><p>“Who sent you?!” The adult hisses—there’s no way that’s not a man, not with that baritone— “Drop the henge and <em>tell me</em>, or I’ll—”</p><p>Something twangs.</p><p>A mass of rope drops onto them, followed by chalk dust.</p><p> </p><p>“HAH!” Comes a much higher-pitched yell. “I told you I’d get ‘em, believe it, I <em>told</em>—wait, what the heck?! Jiji, mask-guy’s hurtin’ my friend!”</p><p>The click of a cane and the sound of an old man’s voice. “Hound-san.”</p><p>The pressure on her arm lessens and the adult gets up, though he doesn’t let go of her. She wheezes, feeling her eyes watering now she can breathe properly.</p><p>She hiccups once. Twice. Bursts into floods of noisy tears.</p><p>A blurry figure of orange comes into her view. “Hey, hey don’t cry, don’t cry! It’s okay, mask-guy won’t hurt you anymore, Jiji won’t let him, believe it! Yo-you’re the one bringin’ me the food, right? It tastes really good, believe it! M-my name’s Naruto, wh-what’s y-yours? Plea-please don’t—”</p><p>The blur of orange begins crying as well.</p><p>“Oh dear.” The old man sighs.</p><p> </p><p>The old man takes them to the tower in the center of the village, drawing curious stares at the sight of two wailing children, one bleached white by chalk dust, following him.</p><p>The tower is scary. It reminds her of government buildings, with lots of people in green or grey jackets or white masks moving from one place to the next like fire ants, ready to turn and bite intruders to their nest at a moment’s notice.</p><p>She doesn’t work out who the queen ant is until the old man sits behind the big desk in the room at the top of the tower, and another mask brings her and Naruto water at his gesture.</p><p>“Now, let’s get to the bottom of this, shall we?” Says the old man, smiling genteelly.</p><p>A shiver goes down her spine. </p><p> </p><p>The questions should be easy. What’s her name, how old is she, where does she live, who are her parents, where do they work, does she have any siblings, what are her hobbies.</p><p>But her tongue is stuck to the top of her mouth and when she tries to speak, she just makes a pathetic little croaking sound, no matter how much water she swallows.</p><p>The man who hurt her gets more and more tense with every failed answer.</p><p>The old man just looks sadder, like she’s failing a test, like he’s going to let the mask hurt her again—</p><p>Naruto asks, “Can you make ramen?”</p><p>She swallows. “I—I’ve never had it. I don’t know the ingredients. Is, is it like miso?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s WAY better than miso, believe it!” Naruto yells. “It’s got noodles and green onions and fish cakes and pork and tofu and chicken and fish and seaweed, and sometimes the broth can taste like miso but better and sometimes it can be spicy and Ichiraku’s is the best, and I’ll take you there so you can have some, believe it!”</p><p>She frowns. “How can it have pork and chicken and fish? That doesn’t work. Those meats go with different flavors—like chicken katsu and pork katsu are served with different toppings.”</p><p>He blows a raspberry. “They’re not all in the same bowl at one time! There’s different types.”</p><p>Her mind ticks over the possibilities. “...So a dashi broth for miso could work? What type of flour are the noodles?”</p><p>He shrugs. “I’unno. There’s different types?”</p><p>“Of course there are!” And she tells him about wheat vs buckwheat vs rye vs rice flour, and how flour mixed with water can serve as food in a pinch but isn’t sustainable for him because he’s malnourished—</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not mal-no-ished, believe it!” Naruto protests.</p><p>She scoffs. “Don’t be stupid. Look, try to touch your thumb and pointer finger around your wrist.”</p><p>He looks at her warily, but does as she says easily. There’s enough space between his hand and his wrist that she could wriggle her little finger in there, if she tried.</p><p>“See?” She says, holding up her own wrist where her thumb can’t quite reach her finger. “You’re too skinny, because you don’t eat enough. You need to bulk up, and eat to get your vitamins, or you’ll grow up weak and feeble.”</p><p>The boy pouts. “S’not <em>my</em> fault the stupid jerkwads in the market won’t sell to me.” He grumbles.</p><p>“No, it isn’t.” She replies. “But they sell to me. And those who let people go hungry are <em>scum</em>.”</p><p>There’s a wounded noise. She looks up at the forgotten adults, tensing again.</p><p>The masked man has vanished. The old man just looks tired, but also...happy?</p><p> </p><p>The old man walks her and Naruto home, and she glimpses many more white masks in the trees. The idea that any one could hurt her at any time has her trembling, fists clenched.</p><p>“What’s your name, anyway?” Naruto asks, clutching his lunchboxes close.</p><p>“Mayu.” She replies after a moment’s hesitation. “Ketsugi Mayu. I’m five and ten months.”</p><p>“I’m Uzumaki Naruto and I’m six, believe it!” He cheers. “Imma be the Hokage one day and take over from Jiji, believe it!”</p><p>She frowns up at the old man. “What’s a hokage?”</p><p>He laughs. “It’s the ninja entrusted with the safety of the village and all those within. The Hokage specifically is the leader of this Village Hidden in the Leaves, Konoha.”</p><p>She looks around.</p><p>“This place is way too big to be a village, no matter how you look at it.”</p><p> </p><p>Her parents burst out the door just as they arrive at her house, her father clutching his bokken, her mother still in nightclothes.</p><p>They blanch when they see her, the woman reaching out with an abortive hand.</p><p>The Hokage bows to them. “Ketsugi-san.” He says. “May I congratulate you on raising such a fine daughter?”</p><p>Ketsugi Jirou bows hesitantly back, eyes not leaving her. He has to press a hand to Chie’s shoulder to get her to do the same. “You honor us, Hokage-sama.”</p><p>The Hokage smiles and gently pushes her. She totters forward and is swiftly captured in a crushing hug, both adults muttering “Mayu, <em>Mayu</em>.” Like she’ll disappear if they let go.</p><p>Her eyes begin watering again, because she’s escaped. She’s <em>safe</em>. For now.</p><p>“<em>Otou-sama</em>.” She whimpers. “<em>Okaa-sama.</em>”</p><p>She mentally apologizes to her parents in her past life, and the brother she left behind. In their memory, her new family will remain “Otou” and “Okaa”, never “Mummy” and “Daddy”.</p><p> </p><p>“OI, MAYU-CHAN!!”</p><p>She half-turns in the hug, sees Naruto and the Hokage some distance away.</p><p>“COME GET RAMEN WITH ME TOMORROW!! ICHIRAKU'S IS THE BEST, BELIEVE IT!!” He yells, with far too much volume.</p><p>She sniffles. There’s something wrong with Naruto. He lives alone and borderline starves, but the ruler of this village visits him enough that he calls the man “jiji”. People in the street call him “demon” and “monster” openly, but the masked man attacked her for approaching him.</p><p>The smart thing to do would be turn him down politely. Thank you, but no thank you. She’s his food provider, she’s not under any obligation to be his friend.</p><p>So, of course, she yells back, “EAT YOUR FOOD AND I'LL BE THERE!”</p><p>He pumps his fist and whoops, cheering loudly as the Hokage smiles and guides him away.</p><p>Mayu Ketsugi and her parents tense as the accusing, silent stares pierce them.</p><p>The neighbors never liked them much anyway.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her parents stay home so the family can strategize.</p>
<p>A war meeting, like those of their ancestors.</p>
<p>She tells them of the paradox that is Naruto, and they tell her that there’s a gag order which prevents them from ferreting out the reason behind the universal hatred of the village.</p>
<p>She tells them about the white masks. Her father frowns and smooths a hand across her bruised arm. “That’s the way of ninja, my girl. Spying even on their weakest and gentlest.”</p>
<p>“Should we continue to associate with the boy? We risk our acceptance in the village, or <em>deportation</em> if the village council believe that we are a threat to him.” Her mother argues.</p>
<p>“But if Mayu-chan reneges on her promise, Hokage-sama could take the rejection as an insult to his hospitality and have us deported anyway.” Her father counters. “Or...”</p>
<p>He tries to make a discreet slicing motion across his neck. It’d work better if he didn’t do the noise too. Okaa-sama covers her face with her hands and lets out a little sob.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want to feed him.”</p>
<p>Her parents turn to her.</p>
<p>She fidgets. “Otou-sama, Okaa-sama, he’s—he’s <em>hungry</em>. And alone. He doesn’t know that he needs vitamins to grow up strong, or that he’ll get sick from rotten food, or that too many sweet or greasy foods are bad for him. <em>No one</em> was feeding him. Letting that continue...it’s <em>dishonorable</em>. If—if it would ease things for Otou-sama and Okaa-sama, we could act like I was being bad by doing this? So you could tell everyone that you didn’t support my behavior while I did it, so the council and the Hokage-sama couldn’t deport us?”</p>
<p>She squirms as they stare down at her.</p>
<p>Then squeaks as both envelop her in a fierce hug.</p>
<p>“When did my little girl get so grown up?” Her mother asks, sounding choked up.</p>
<p>“We’re not doing it.” Her father says before she can reply. “Our family stays together, damn what the tree-huggers may think. Even if we have enemies on all sides, the Ketsugi clan will weather any blows. Invite the boy round here for meals—he could likely use the company.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s not that simple, of course.</p>
<p>Naruto freezes up when her mother arrives with her to invite him for breakfast. He won’t stop pinching himself once they insist he stay for lunch and to play in the afternoon. He starts crying outright once they suggest he sleepover on the spare futon after Ichiraku’s (which was delicious and she had to stop herself from whining at Teuchi-sama for the recipe).</p>
<p><em>He’s</em> not the problem in this equation.</p>
<p>Everyone else is.</p>
<p>The masks appear just as they’re getting ready for bed, and insist Naruto has to go back to his apartment, no matter how much he pleads or her father cajoles or her mother negotiates.</p>
<p>They tell him it’s “not healthy to spend so much time with foreigners to the village”.</p>
<p>Her parents go red at that, arguing that they’ve worked hard for the good of Konoha since they arrived, that Mayu-chan has never known any other home, she’s practically a <em>native</em>.</p>
<p>They still take Naruto away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>People begin to whisper openly about “iron-hearted immigrants jeopardizing village safety”.</p>
<p>She delivers Naruto his food, but there’s a masked person outside the door <em>who goes through her cooking</em>, <em>destroying</em> the now-almost-triangular onigiri, saying she could’ve <em>poisoned</em> it, like that wouldn’t <em>ruin</em> the meal.</p>
<p>It takes all of her willpower not to kick the stupid mask in her stupid shin.</p>
<p>The dark-haired police knock on their door several times throughout the week to query numerous complaints called in about them.</p>
<p>A man spits on her mother at work, and her coworkers just pretend nothing’s happened.</p>
<p>Her father comes home with a black eye that he laughs off, but he makes her wear different, nondescript clothes when she delivers Naruto’s dinner.</p>
<p>Another mask inspects that too.</p>
<p>The next day, someone’s daubed “GO BACK TO IRON” on their house.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or they’ve <em>tried</em> to at any rate.</p>
<p>She’s woken early by an indignant shriek of rage.</p>
<p>There’s a black streak covering her window. </p>
<p>When she pushes it up and sticks her head out, she sees Naruto dumping the contents of a black can of paint over a woman’s head, red in the face and yelling incoherently.</p>
<p>The woman staggers, shrieking and spluttering and trying to pull off the paint can where it’s become wedged over her ears.</p>
<p>There’s a man who grabs Naruto’s collar and shakes him until he goes limp, snarling about monsters and demons and ungratefulness.</p>
<p>He’s right under her window.</p>
<p>She lands on him like a sack of bricks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They end up in front of the Hokage again, this time covered in paint.</p>
<p>She doesn’t know where Otou-sama and Okaa-sama are. There’s masks everywhere.</p>
<p>The Hokage sighs. “So all this fuss is over a few meals and a sleepover?”</p>
<p>“Yes, Hokage-sama.” She says, bowing deeply, channelling as much of Nico Robin as she can into her movements and speech. “My family and I are very sorry if we have broken any rules of the village. We didn’t know, and...I thought Naruto would like to eat with us, and maybe stay over. Because food tastes better when you share it together.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, they were just being nice, believe it!” Naruto yells, fists clenched, hair splotched black.</p>
<p>The Hokage rubs the space between his eyes, and looks very tired. “I appreciate your intentions, Mayu-kun. However, as Naruto-kun’s apartment is paid for by the village, he needs to spend more time there than he can at his friends’ houses. Otherwise we would worry he’d been kidnapped.”</p>
<p>“I understand, Hokage-sama.” She says, not understanding in the slightest. Surely adult supervision was better for that rather than staying in a state-subsidized apartment alone?</p>
<p>From the way Naruto’s mouth twists unhappily, he doesn’t get it either.</p>
<p>The old man takes a deep inhale on his pipe, blowing out an impressive cloud. “Well, how about a compromise?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And so it is decided that Naruto may eat with the Ketsugi family twice a day if he so chooses, and sleep over once a month.</p>
<p>These visits are non-obligatory for him, and there are no dispensations for village holidays.</p>
<p>If her family decides to gift Naruto with necessities outside of food, that is at their discretion. These items must bear the Uzumaki spiral. The presence of the Ketsugi symbol is forbidden.</p>
<p>Mayu can deliver him meals, and they can play together during the day, but he has to go home by sundown every evening and eat one meal on his own.</p>
<p>If not, the masks and the police will come and get him again.</p>
<p>It’s not perfect.</p>
<p>It’s not even that good, which her parents agree after hugging her so tightly that paint smears on their pajamas as well when they’re finally allowed to see her.</p>
<p>But if it makes Naruto smile so widely that his eyes go all squinty and hold her hand all the way back, then she’ll make do.</p>
<p>Even if they do have to help scrub the graffiti off of her house.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next week, a letter arrives to say that she will be attending the Village Academy.</p>
<p>She does not want to attend the Academy. It’s ninja school and she doesn’t want to be a ninja.</p>
<p>“But <em>why</em> do you want to be a pirate?” Her mother asks, despairing.</p>
<p>“Because they’re free.” She answers. “They’re the freest people in the world.”</p>
<p>“So are bandits.” Her father replies, wiping miso off Naruto’s chin. “But sleeping in the dirt and being attacked by ninja and samurai isn’t much fun, is it?”</p>
<p>Naruto laughs as she pouts. “It’s okay, Mayu-chan! Bein’ a ninja will be WAY better than a dumb ol’ pirate, believe it!”</p>
<p>She tries to kick him under the table and misses. “Better a pirate with comrades and treasure than a lonely old hokage with paperwork.”</p>
<p>He lets out a cry and is off a mile a minute, jabbering that hokages aren’t lonely, everyone’s their comrade, and when he becomes hokage he’ll set any dumb paperwork on fire, believe it!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She hates the Academy even more once they arrive.</p>
<p>There’s dozens of children there, all squabbling, laughing, talking. Yet not a one of them is willing to sit next to Naruto. When he tries to make friends, they push and scramble to get away like he’s somehow diseased.</p>
<p>She squeezes his hand, but he still looks crushed.</p>
<p>She doesn’t get it. In the anime stills of her last life he was always smiling, always happy. Luffy had Ace and Sabo, Shanks and Makino, Garp and Dandan at <em>least</em>. How could this boy have <em>nobody</em> and still be made to smile?</p>
<p>The teacher’s even worse.</p>
<p>The woman goes around the room and has people introduce themselves, but skips over Naruto. He doesn’t get the handout she passes out. It’s like she’s pretending he doesn't exist.</p>
<p>So she gives her handout to him, and relays his questions when the teacher ignores his raised hand.</p>
<p>She’s not the one who wants to be a ninja, after all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She and Naruto go to the teacher’s lounge when lunch rolls around.</p>
<p>A man with a scar across his nose answers the door, and lets them in to reheat their thermoses of broth in an old microwave. He’s awkward, but at least he tries to be nice to Naruto.</p>
<p>They get back to the classroom, and she watches, worrying her lower lip, as he pours the boiling liquid over the tofu, seaweed, green onions and pre-cooked noodles.</p>
<p>“How is it?” She bursts out when he takes the first bite. “I know it’s not going to be as good as Ichiraku’s, but did I get the seasoning right? Are the noodles okay?”</p>
<p>He slurps, and chews contemplatively.</p>
<p>She leans forward.</p>
<p>He opens his mouth—</p>
<p>And promptly shoves another serving of noodles and toppings into it, grinning at her indignant shriek.</p>
<p>“I’m never cooking for you again.” She grumps as he laughs at her. They both know that’s a lie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Academy gets better and worse.</p>
<p>On the “better” side, their classmates begin approaching Naruto more, seeing him interact and eat with her.</p>
<p>He doesn’t become Mr. Popular overnight, but they’ll ask him if he has an extra pencil, tell him to be quiet if he’s getting overexcited without cowering. Some even say “hello” to him.</p>
<p>Guess it’s hard to see a boy who whines for a solid forty-five minutes about how he needed her pudding cup to survive afternoon classes after eating his own as a demon.</p>
<p>The goofy victory dance he does when she gives in is also helps.</p>
<p>In his defense the Academy is making them do <em>long division</em> and <em>fractions</em> in afternoon classes. In a world <em>without calculators</em>, so everything must be done <em>by hand</em>.</p>
<p>It’s hard for <em>her</em> and she’s done this shit once already. For Naruto, who she suspects has some form of dyslexia more and more with each passing day...well, he deserves the pudding cup.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first to approach is a brown-haired boy with red markings on his cheeks called “Kiba”.</p>
<p>He comes up to them in the schoolyard and sniffs Naruto. “You smell more like a dumb fox than a demon. I bet you’re really weak.”</p>
<p>Naruto bristles like a cat, fists clenching. She grabs one of them. The teachers actively look for any opportunity to punish him, and she isn’t going to let them have the satisfaction.</p>
<p>“Why don’t you and your dumb nose go away then?” She snaps.</p>
<p>The boy snarls and his teeth look like they’ve been sharpened. “Nobody was talking to you, dead fish eyes!”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Naruto yells, lunging for the boy, “Don’t call Mayu-chan that!”</p>
<p>“Try to stop me!” He jeers, looking far happier than he has any right to when Naruto jumps on him for the insult and the two begin wrestling in the dirt despite her attempts to separate them.</p>
<p>Somehow this leads to Kiba eating bits of their lunches, alternating between joking around with Naruto and pulling pranks on him. It’s a weird frenemy thing she’s not sure how to dissect.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Next there’s a sweet, rotund boy named “Chouji”, who must come from a family of cooks.</p>
<p>His lunchboxes are tiered masterpieces that make her green with envy— perfectly cooked rice making up expertly formed onigiri and sushi, braised pork, duck and beef that’s so tender it practically falls apart at the slightest brush, fruit and vegetables cut into intricate shapes.</p>
<p>He tentatively approaches them to ask about the french onion soup that Naruto’s eyeing dubiously, perplexed by the bread and cheese in place of noodles.</p>
<p>“Is it just onions, or are there other vegetables?” He asks in a break in her cajoling.</p>
<p>“Ah, it’s a mixture of white onions, shallots, and leeks.” She says, pleasantly surprised. “It’s not traditional, but I figured the more variety the better, right?”</p>
<p>The boy nods solemnly. “Could I try some?”</p>
<p>“Sure!” She passes over her own untouched bowl. He picks up some onions and cheese with his chopsticks and bites into it.</p>
<p>He puts the chopsticks down. She worries her lower lip. Did he not like it?</p>
<p>“Ketsugi-chan. If I trade you my cutlets, can I have this?”</p>
<p>She blinks and begins grinning like a loon. Naruto begins whining about how he wants a cutlet too.</p>
<p>So she gains a friend who she can trade cooking tips and tricks with. It’s surprisingly nice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>On the “worse” side of Academy life, people being less scared of Naruto means bullies begin to try their luck.</p>
<p>They’re just overconfident brats, playing at having a semblance of “power” by picking on adult-sanctioned targets.</p>
<p>Their little quibbles have <em>nothing</em> on the abuses adults have heaped on both Naruto and her. Unsurprisingly, her family is now quasi-reviled in the village even with the Hokage’s sanction of their friendship with Naruto and they get charged more for goods and paid less for their services. Even the shopkeeps who used to coo when she was younger watch her warily now.</p>
<p>It’s easier to ruin a reputation than it is to repair it after all. But she digresses.</p>
<p>It’s standard bullying fare, almost cliche in its predictability. Verbal taunting in the hallway and bathrooms, their stuff going missing, framings for petty thefts, sharp or messy substances in their seats, attacks that don’t go in their favor.</p>
<p>One did attempt to ruin their food once.</p>
<p>They don’t try that anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The teachers still refuse to acknowledge Naruto. It’s getting a bit ridiculous.</p>
<p>At this point he could dance naked on the tables and if the other students kept quiet about it the teacher would probably do her best to pretend it wasn’t happening.</p>
<p>She should probably learn the woman’s name at some point. Otou-sama and Okaa-sama get bemused looks whenever she just refers to her as “the teacher”.</p>
<p>She’ll do so when the teacher stops glaring at her for conveying Naruto’s input.</p>
<p>The white masks have begun watching her more often.</p>
<p>It feels like there’s one in every tree she looks at, silent and waiting for the excuse to hurt.</p>
<p>Nobody else ever seems to see them as frequently she does, not even Naruto who has a literal cohort of masks shadowing him at all times.</p>
<p>Some of them large enough to be adults, others...worryingly small.</p>
<p>She tries her best not to look.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’re walking home one Friday when they meet one of the other “main characters”.</p>
<p>She’s grumbling because she got into an argument with the teacher over the story of Usagi-hime. Apparently a tyrant on the level of the World Government is a “benevolent goddess” here. </p>
<p>Naruto just snickers when she makes wordless growls as she mimes choking their teacher.</p>
<p>His head snaps up at the sound of ugly laughter.</p>
<p>He frowns and tugs her to follow him off the path towards the sound of taunting.</p>
<p>There are three girls holding a fourth with pink hair and an red ribbon down, while a fifth laughs.</p>
<p>The fifth girl holds up a round object. “That forehead is so monstrously huge, I bet we could fry an egg on it, couldn’t we? Teach you to play ninja, hiding behind Yamanaka-chan!”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Yells Naruto. “Stop being mean to her!”</p>
<p>“Stop playing with food.” She adds. “It’s a <em>waste</em>.”</p>
<p>The fifth girl sneers, trying to hide a flinch at that word. “Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it? You’re just a moronic demon and an iron-hearted slant!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well.” She says. “At least the egg didn’t break.”</p>
<p>Her knuckles are scraped and stinging and one of her teeth feels wobbly. Naruto’s got a rapidly healing black eye. The pink-haired girl who seems to be universally hated has a bloody nose.</p>
<p>She inspects the egg, sniffs it. It seems to be perfectly fresh. But what to do with it?</p>
<p>Rice omelet, scotch egg, boiled egg in ramen, spaghetti carbonara, meringue— </p>
<p>The hated girl sniffles, trembling. Naruto frowns at her distress, then turns puppy-eyes on her.</p>
<p><em>No</em>. Nope, nope, nope. Naruto’s enough. She’s already befriended the <em>main character</em> when she was supposed to just feed him. She can’t be more involved in this dumb story than this—</p>
<p>The pink haired girl’s stomach growls.</p>
<p>
  <em>God. Dammit.</em>
</p>
<p>“Hey.” She holds the egg up. “Wanna bake a cake with this?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mixing the batter and the buttercream makes her scrapes sting and crack, and she scowls furiously when they bleed and she has to stop what she’s doing to go wash her hands again.</p>
<p>Naruto’s eager to pick up where she leaves off, whisking so fast he almost spatters both mixtures all over the countertop in spite of her protests.</p>
<p>Thank god Pinky has the good sense to keep her eyes on the jam, carefully mixing in the sugar so it doesn’t burn.</p>
<p>The cakes come out slightly lopsided, but they’re cooked through, so she tries to cut them more evenly. Then she slathers buttercream on one, the set raspberry jam on the other, and presses them together, covering the top in the last of the buttercream.</p>
<p>It’s not the best Victoria Sponge she’s ever made, but Naruto and Pinky seem to like it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They send Pinky home with half the cake and the rest of the jam. She made it, after all.</p>
<p>Okaa-sama declares that she’ll be making their lunches until her hands are healed at dinner, partly as a punishment for fighting. Her knuckles keep bleeding too much for her to safely prepare food anyway.</p>
<p>She frowns at her hands. They’re her tools. She can’t let this happen again</p>
<p>“Otou-sama.” She asks, while her mother tells Naruto to sit up straight and keep his elbows tucked in. “Do you know anybody who can teach me to fight with just my feet?”</p>
<p>Her father tilts his head to the side, contemplating.</p>
<p>“I’ll ask around at work and see.” He says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Monday morning, she and Naruto (who said he wanted in on training) are at a training ground at 5AM.</p>
<p>It’s early even by the standards of their old food delivery system.</p>
<p>Her father had seemed weirdly excited the night before and told her that it was a matter of <em>clan honor</em> to make a good impression on her new teacher.</p>
<p>There’s a faint yell echoing in the morning mist.</p>
<p>A man in green spandex bursts out of the undergrowth, executing a series of flawless backflips to land in front of them in the center of the training field. </p>
<p>“GOOOD MORNING BLOSSOMING YOUTHS!!” He shoots them a thumbs up and the rising sun glints off his teeth. “I am Konoha’s Beautiful Green Beast, MAITO GAI!! It is my HONOR to train you into blossoming in THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUR YOUTH!!”</p>
<p>She gets the feeling she’s going to regret this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She regrets this so much. So, so much.</p>
<p>Everything hurts.</p>
<p>Naruto groans beside her, face down on the desk. “‘M not doing this anymore, believe it.”</p>
<p>She limply aims a swat at him. “You’re not allowed to abandon me. Jumping ship is bad.”</p>
<p>“M not a pirate.” He grumbles. “M gonna be Hokage, believe it.”</p>
<p>She’s about to reply that a Hokage shouldn’t abandon his people either, when a bright voice goes, “Wow, you guys look dead!”</p>
<p>She lifts her face from the desk to see the blond girl Chouji hangs out with a lot. She looks far too pleased with her assessment.</p>
<p>“Sakura said you guys helped her out yesterday.” The blond girl continues after a minute of uncomprehending staring. “And Chouji says you cook good food. Wanna eat lunch with us?”</p>
<p>“I can’t feel my legs.” She tells her honestly. Naruto mumbles in agreement.</p>
<p>The blonde girl laughs like she’s told the world’s best joke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They end up getting scolded for sleeping in class.</p>
<p>When lunch rolls around, her legs tremble when she walks over to where Blondie and Pinky and Chouji are eating. Naruto wobbles into a seat, and nearly falls on top of a sleeping boy.</p>
<p>“You didn’t cook today?” Chouji asks, looking concerned.</p>
<p>She snorts and holds up her scabbed hands. “Unsanitary. Okaa-sama put me on probation until they’re healed. It’s my fault anyway—I shouldn’t have been careless with them.”</p>
<p>“I—I’m sorry, Mayu-san!” Pinky squeaks. “If I’d stood up to Ami...”</p>
<p>Naruto snorts, cheeks slightly red. “That’s not your fault! Those girls were jerks, believe it!”</p>
<p>Blondie nods, throwing an arm around Pinky. “Yeah! We’ll make them regret messing with you!”</p>
<p>She accepts a conciliatory tempura from Chouji, and is struck by a thought. “Ah, what were your names again?”</p>
<p>A disbelieving silence. Blondie wordlessly gestures to herself and Pinky, going red when she nods.</p>
<p>“WHAT DO YOU <em>MEAN</em> YOU DON'T KNOW OUR <em>NAMES</em>, WE'VE BEEN <em>CLASSMATES</em> FOR <em>OVER A YEAR!!</em>”</p>
<p>The sleeping boy snorts when she topples out of her chair at the force of Blondie’s yell, while Naruto groans and munches on an octopus sausage.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her schedule becomes much busier after that.</p><p>She gets up an hour before training with Gai-sensei and goes to get Naruto. He’s taken to setting up traps again to dissuade her, growing more complex and subtle by the day.</p><p>She’s getting very good at dodging and disarming them.</p><p>They train with Gai-sensei for two hours. Usually running laps and doing katas focused on fluidity and strength. He seems to have taken Sanji’s creed as a personal challenge and she’s usually wearing mitten-like weights over her hands or has her arms tied behind her back.</p><p>After training, she returns home to practice katas with her father, using a smaller bokken.</p><p>She has a very short amount of time to shower and get dressed before Naruto arrives for breakfast with her family.</p><p>Sometimes Gai-sensei joins them, and she never knew embarrassment before she had to watch her parents try not to swoon over his every word. She suspects both Okaa-sama and Otou-sama have crushes on him.</p><p>Naruto grimaces next to her and they eat their food in double time and shout their goodbyes as they run to the Academy.</p><p> </p><p>They eat lunch separately.</p><p>It’s Naruto’s idea, and rather ingenious if she does say so.</p><p>They sit at opposite ends of the same table while Ino, Sakura, Shikamaru (sleepy guy), Chouji, and Kiba are spread out between them. She knows their names now. Ino made sure of it.</p><p>Ino and Sakura try to get her involved in girl talk, Chouji alternates between talking to her about cooking and to Shikamaru about classes, while Kiba and Naruto discuss what kind of cool ninja moves they know and will learn next year.</p><p>They’re close enough that it still feels like they’re spending time together, but the conversation and slight dispersal of the seating positions mean they’re “technically” not eating a meal together.</p><p>After the Academy day is over, she goes to the market with her mother to buy groceries. Once they get back, she prepares their lunch boxes the moment groceries are put away, making extra due to the sheer amount of sharing that goes on, with Naruto yelling ridiculous suggestions as Okaa-sama measures him for new clothes.</p><p>He seems to be going through a growth spurt, now his body is getting the nutrients it needs.</p><p>They finish their homework together in the kitchen while her mother makes dinner. Otou-sama usually arrives in time for them to finish setting the table and they eat dinner together.</p><p>On Wednesdays and Fridays they get ramen from Ichiraku’s. Every other weekend is when the Hokage checks in on Naruto, so she’ll not see him for the entire two days.</p><p>After Naruto leaves for his curfew, she helps wash the dishes while her parents ensure she’s up to speed on their family history.</p><p>She goes to bed early, because she learned quickly not doing so made Gai-sensei’s training that much worse to bear.</p><p> </p><p>They move up a year.</p><p>It’s almost a shame, because towards the end there the teacher had begun warming up to Naruto, if saying “Good luck Ketsugi, Uzumaki.” counts as “warming up”.</p><p>She supposes she maybe should’ve had a bit more faith in the teacher, even if the woman does have an unhealthy idealization of the World Government-level tyrant Usagi-hime and is completely, totally wrong about pirates being poor role models to aspire to.</p><p>Now they’re going to have a new teacher and begin the whole rigmarole over again.</p><p>At least their classmates are already used to him, and they get a three week break before the summer term starts.</p><p>Her new birthday’s the weekend before classes start up again too, so there’s that.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto’s being stalked.</p><p>She notices it a few days into the break, when Okaa-sama begs for them to act their age for once and go play outside instead of just training or cooking.</p><p>Naruto knows a good swing set outside the Academy and they spend half an hour trying to see if they can get the swing to go all the way round.</p><p>Yes, she has the memories and partial mindset of a twenty year old, but this is the dream of every child who has ever been on a swing, including her, and they are in an anime ninja world.</p><p>If there’s anywhere it’ll be possible to fulfill this dream, it’s here.</p><p>She’s managed to go almost horizontal on her swing while Naruto whoops in glee behind her, and on the backswing she spots a blur of dark hair hiding behind a tree and watching them.</p><p><em>No</em>, she thinks, slowing a little while Naruto kicks with increased vigor and whoops again once he touches tree branches, the person’s weird pale eyes remaining fixed on his swinging. Watching <em>him</em>.</p><p> </p><p>The stalker follows them everywhere.</p><p>She’s getting reasonably sure the stalker is a girl, because just about the only place she doesn’t follow Naruto is the boy’s bathroom.</p><p>She’s almost on par with the masks for stealth otherwise, remaining far enough away that it’s not obvious she’s stalking but close enough that she always has a clear line of sight to Naruto.</p><p>She’s definitely a member of one of the village clans. Her skills and the symbol on her high-quality clothing attest to that much. But what’s her interest in Naruto?</p><p>She waits a minute after Naruto enters the bathroom, and then walks towards the stalker.</p><p>The girl knows better than to run and draw attention to herself, but she does backpedal a bit.</p><p>“Look,” She says, not unkindly. “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know why you’re watching Naruto. I don’t think you want to hurt him, and I’ll let you off so long as you don’t. Just don’t steal any of his underwear, or invade his privacy and make him uncomfortable, or we’ll have problems. Am I clear?”</p><p>The girl blushes tomato red. She opens and closes her mouth several times. She flees.</p><p>She sighs. The stalker may have just been too shy for her own good, but it’s always wise to nip a potential yandere in the bud before obsession really takes hold.</p><p> </p><p>That weekend they get an addition to their morning training.</p><p>Gai-sensei comes striding onto their training field with a boy about their age trotting along behind him. He has a braid and very bushy eyebrows.</p><p>“This is Rock Lee!” Gai-sensei says proudly. “He will be joining our most youthful training!”</p><p>“I am Rock Lee and I am eight years old.” The boy introduces himself. “I am honored to meet the students of Maito Gai-sensei!”</p><p>“I’m Uzumaki Naruto and I’m seven! Imma be the Hokage, believe it!” Naruto cheers, waking up more with the chance to say his dream.</p><p>“Ketsugi Mayu. I’ll be seven two weeks from now. It’s nice to meet you, Lee-senpai.” She bows to him.</p><p>“Ah! It is I who should be calling you senpai, as you were students of Maito Gai-sensei before me!” Rock Lee insists, eyes shining. What a polite boy.</p><p>“Heck yeah! Just call me Naruto-senpai!” Naruto boasts, hands on his hips and nose in the air.</p><p>“No, don’t make him do that...”</p><p>“HOW YOUTHFUL!!” Gai-sensei roars, tears of joy streaming down his cheeks. The only person she’s ever seen cry more than him is Franky. “It brings me much joy to see my students getting along so well! Yosh! LET US RUN 50 LAPS AROUND KONOHA ON OUR HANDS!!”</p><p>“Yes, Gai-sensei!!” Lee yells back.</p><p>“Lee!”</p><p>“Gai-sensei!”</p><p>“<em>Lee</em>!”</p><p>“<em>Gai-sensei</em>!”</p><p>She and Naruto share a horrified glance. <em>Oh god there’s two of them now.</em></p><p> </p><p>There’s a lot of falling on faces, and 50 laps around Konoha do not get completed. They do manage 20 circuits somehow, and Gai-sensei tells them all he’s extremely proud of them.</p><p>That’s what’s nice about Gai-sensei. Even if you couldn’t quite reach the goal he set the first time, he’s always encouraging and takes every effort as something to be celebrated and built upon. He makes you want to succeed, but not worry about failing to get there.</p><p>They’re doing cool down stretches when Lee’s stomach growls.</p><p>Her eyes narrow.</p><p>Naruto catches sight of the look on her face and begins snickering.</p><p>Gai-sensei, cheerfully oblivious, straightens up. “Yosh! Mayu-chan, would your parents mind if we imposed upon them for breakfast?”</p><p>“Of course not Gai-sensei. They’d be delighted to have you.” She smiles.</p><p>Lee curls into himself a little, beginning to retreat. “Then I shall meet you all here tomorrow! Have a good morn—”</p><p>Her hand clamps down on his arm. She keeps smiling. “Training breakfasts are at my house. Here’s the address for you, so you can join us.”</p><p>Lee blinks, eyes shining suspiciously. “Ah...uh..is this...okay?”</p><p>“Don’t fight it Lee!” Naruto calls behind her. “Or she’ll hunt you down to feed you, believe it!”</p><p>“I did <em>not</em> hunt you down!” She yelps indignantly. “<em>You</em> set traps when I left you food!”</p><p>“I just wanted to say thank you!” “With <em>chalk dust</em>?!”</p><p> </p><p>And so Lee joins them for breakfast.</p><p>He’s loud and a bit awkward, effusively thanking her parents for even the smallest of things and easily getting caught up in Gai-sensei’s pace.</p><p>He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body though, and can be surprisingly level-headed and reliable when not overexcited. Which, admittedly, is a lot of the time.</p><p>He also likes her curries, which Naruto wrongly insists are “pure LAVA on a plate, Mayu-chan, curry’s supposed to be sweet and savory, not burn your mouth off!”</p><p>She’s just glad she now knows somebody who can appreciate what a <em>real</em> curry is rather than the sweet, spice-less sauce that <em>cowards</em> attempt to pretend counts.</p><p>Her parents are convinced he’s somehow Gai-sensei’s long lost son. To be fair to them, the eyebrows and enthusiasm are very...similar. Their theorizing ran rampant when Lee mentioned he lived in the Village Orphanage while assuring her he did, in fact, get enough to eat.</p><p>Gai-sensei isn’t exactly dissuading these theories with how much he mother-hens the boy either. She suspects he overacts and exaggerates his normal robustness a little bit for Lee, to stop the boy from glancing around during training sessions or meals like he can’t quite believe he deserves to be here.</p><p>She can’t exactly criticize, since she and Naruto and Okaa-sama and Otou-sama are also doing all they can to make Lee feel welcome.</p><p> </p><p>The weekend of her birthday isn’t like any birthdays she’s had before in this life.</p><p>For all that she grew up in Konoha, she never had any friends before Naruto. Running laps was a much more productive use of her time, even if her mother worried about her being lonely.</p><p>A quiet dinner in with her new parents was enough for her.</p><p>Naruto missed her sixth birthday because he had to spend the weekend with the Hokage, then insisted on trying to draw Luffy for her from the stories she’s told him as a late birthday present.</p><p>It’s not a very accurate drawing—Luffy’s straw hat is upside down and he’s got lasers shooting from his eyes and looks like a distressed noodle overall, but it hangs on her wall all the same.</p><p>Naruto has been pulling a vanishing act sporadically throughout the week, which she wasn’t overly concerned about.</p><p>She knows about birthday preparations, and if he wants it to be a surprise, she’ll humor him.</p><p>Though she did stumble upon a scene where Lee was on one knee in front of Sakura, while Naruto prepared to hit him with a bag of mulch from behind.</p><p>All three froze when they realized she was there, stammered out something incomprehensible, and fled like startled mice.</p><p>She has no idea what was going on there, but she’d pay good money to find out.</p><p>Or at least cook a good meal, because all her ingredient purchases leave her perpetually broke.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto isn’t in his apartment the morning of her birthday.</p><p>She gets past all of his traps only to knock on the door and hear no answer. The neighbors yell at her when her repeated hammering on the entrance gets too loud.</p><p>Lee isn’t with Gai-sensei when she finally arrives to training. He pointedly ignores all her questions about where the other two are, but teaches her the kata for a dropkick in exchange.</p><p>It’s difficult, but the grin she gets when her heel hits the ground and leaves a dent is blinding.</p><p>He walks her home too.</p><p>That’s when she realizes this was planned.</p><p>Sure enough, the curtains on the windows are drawn, and Gai-sensei is a little eager to go ahead of her into the house.</p><p>The lights coming on are blinding, and the yell of “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAYU!!” should not be as loud as it is considering there are only five people in the room.</p><p>She’s sweaty and worn out and for some reason she can’t stop smiling so hard her cheeks hurt.</p><p> </p><p>Lee and Gai-sensei present her with a set of weights and a few pairs of orange leg warmers to cover them, like the ones they wear on a daily basis. She grins and thinks it might be nice to wear something that reminds her of the two of them and Naruto, who has insisted on getting mainly orange clothing since Okaa-sama once told him he had the coloring for it.</p><p>Okaa-sama and Otou-sama give her a book on baking bread that’s about as heavy as the weights and several bags of different types of flour. She hugs them as tightly as she can. There’s wheat and rye and multigrain and gluten-free and she can’t wait to see what she can create with all of this.</p><p>Naruto fidgets and shoves a small pot with a rosemary plant in it into her arms. “Ino let me have it if I helped out at the Yamanaka flower shop with her and Sakura-chan, believe it, and she said it tastes really good in food and its name is Habu-san because plants are living things, so they should have names like people and animals do, right?”</p><p>She inhales the slightly salty scent.</p><p>Later, after she’s finally had a shower and gotten dressed with the addition of the leg warmers, Sakura and Ino will drop by with a set of sparkly silver hair clips and a chef’s hat keychain.</p><p>They’ll all go to a restaurant owned by Chouji’s family to eat, and she’ll devour one of the best plates of chicken katsu, intent on figuring out the recipe through taste alone. She’ll share a chocolate cake with Chouji and Naruto, laughing as the latter pouts when describing Lee’s declaration to woo Sakura when he becomes a worthy ninja.</p><p>But for now, she just beams at her best friend and tells him, “I really love Habu-san. Thank you so much for giving this to me, Naruto.”<br/><br/></p><p>They return to the Academy.</p><p>Lee walks with them there, and they wave to each other as they go to their respective classrooms.</p><p>Kiba runs up to them within seconds of arriving in their new classroom, a beam on his face so bright it could outshine the sun itself.</p><p>“<em>Igotmyninkenpartner</em>!!!” He bursts out, practically vibrating with happiness.</p><p>She blinks. Looks at Naruto, who shrugs. Looks back at Kiba. “Beg your pardon?”</p><p>He groans, cuddling a bundle close to his chest. As she’s looking down at it, it squirms.</p><p>“I. Got. My. Ninken. Partner.” He repeats, with exaggerated slowness. “It’s a huge thing for the Inuzuka! We get chosen by a ninken, and they can understand human speech and learn cool ninja moves with us, so when we grow up we’ll be twice as awesome as any other ninja!!”</p><p>“What’s a ninken?” Naruto asks as the bundle squirms again—</p><p>And a <em>puppy</em> pops out.</p><p>“Meet Akamaru!” Kiba says proudly. Akamaru is white with floppy brown ears and big dark eyes and—</p><p>“Akamaru.” She says seriously. “You are a very good boy.”</p><p>The puppy yips in response and she could die right then and there from happiness.</p><p> </p><p>This year they’re actually moving into the ninja portion of Academy learning.</p><p>The new teacher is a white haired man and he has them sit criss-crossed on the floor.</p><p>“Chakra is a force found in all living beings, a combination of their spiritual and physical energy, or yin and yang. It is a ninja’s greatest tool, the source of genjutsu and ninjutsu.” He drones on.</p><p><em>Does it run on midochlorians too?</em> A voice in her head that sounds like her past brother’s mocks.It just all sounds so inaccurate, like a bunch of different ideas mashed together to seem cool. </p><p>At least Devil Fruits were somewhat understandable in how they worked. Eat a weird fruit, it messes with your genetics, you get powers. Much more plausible.</p><p>She pokes Naruto awake again and the teacher glares at them. “Today we’ll focus on basic chakra awareness. I want you to meditate and locate your chakra center.”</p><p>The classmates around her close their eyes. After an especially sharp glare, she does so too.</p><p> </p><p>It’s warm in the classroom.</p><p>It’s noisy outside, and she can feel Naruto’s knee press into her leg.</p><p>She focuses on her breathing. It’s almost peaceful, retreating inside herself like this—</p><p>
  <em>There’s something inside her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It wasn’t there before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It doesn’t belong in her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She thinks it doesn’t like that she’s found it.</em>
</p><p>It’s like forcibly being made aware of blood circulating through your body. Not simply your heart beating, but the friction as the liquid scrapes through your veins, the pain as the breakneck current is divided and divided again, until dead ends send the liquid flying back to where it came from at the same terrifying speed.</p><p>“What the <em>shit</em>?!” She gasps out, eyes flying open.</p><p>Then she hears what she just said and claps her hands over her mouth as the children around her break into surprised titters.</p><p>The teacher glowers. “Ketsugi, go stand in the hall.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Somehow it gets <em>worse</em> after that.</p><p>It’s hard enough living with the realization that she’s been reborn with an entirely new circulatory system that parasitizes energy from her training and studying and <em>doesn’t like her</em>.</p><p>But then the teacher begins making noises about learning to <em>mold this system to their wills</em>.</p><p>Like trying to harness the weird unnatural force for its powers isn’t going to end horror movie style.</p><p>Especially since they’re using those dumb hand signs to do so.</p><p>She feels a little bad for disparaging it, since Naruto’s trying so hard to form them properly.</p><p>But most of them look like they’d dislocate her fingers if she wasn’t careful, her mind recalling videos of howling children who tried a little too hard to copy their favorite show and were left with fingers that dangled the wrong way.</p><p>She can’t risk damaging her tools again.</p><p> </p><p>“Ketsugi.” The teacher says. “Demonstrate the Ox sign for the class.”</p><p>She cautiously twists her fingers, then drops them when something twinges. “Can't do it.”</p><p>“Of course you can, if you bother to try. The Ox sign.” The teacher snaps.</p><p>“But these aren’t <em>necessary</em>, right?” She pushes.“They just make using ch-chakra easier. A handicap.”</p><p>The teacher sighs. “They’re a tool, not a handicap, which you would know if you were paying attention to the lesson. Form the signs, Rat through Serpent.”</p><p>“I’m not doing them.” She snaps. “It’s embarrassing as a human being!”</p><p>There’s a moment of silence as what she said sinks in.</p><p>“Mizuki-sensei, why does Ketsugi-san look so smug?”</p><p>“Because she’s about to serve detention Uchiha.” The teacher growls. “Ketsugi, out in the hallway, now!”</p><p>She pouts as she holds the water buckets. They’re not even that heavy after training with Gai-sensei.</p><p>And so what if she was smug? <em>She got to say Nico Robin’s line</em>, she deserves to feel proud for that.</p><p>“<em>It’s embarrassing as a human being</em>.” She whispers to herself and can barely stifle slightly hysterical giggles.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto and Kiba end up in detention with her after school.</p><p>Somehow they managed to turn the teacher’s white hair orange enough to rival Nami’s.</p><p>It’s almost the same length too, making her snicker.</p><p>She thinks of her own hair, now below her chin. It’s too fine and straight to pull off Nami's look. She pouts down at her fingers.</p><p>“What is your family symbol anyways?” Kiba says, cracking his knuckles and shaking his fingers out. They’ve been cycling through the dumb signs for the past twenty minutes.</p><p>She peeks down at her shirt where there’s a little embroidered grey pelican with its wings raised to almost form a circle and a red tomoe where its beak meets its breast.</p><p>“It’s a pelican.” She says. “A sea bird. Their beak can hold lots of water, like a bucket.”</p><p>“Oh.” He fidgets, scratching the markings on his face. Akamaru barks. “Is that why it’s your family symbol? Carrying water?”</p><p>“Ah, no.” She gestures towards it as covertly as she can. “There’s this idea from a long time ago that pelicans babies are nursed on blood. So the pelican stabs itself with its beak so it can feed its babies. It’s a metaphor for something, like self-sacrifice, I think. I’m pretty sure they don’t do that in the wild.”</p><p>Kiba “hmms” and a frown creases Naruto’s face, but he doesn’t say anything for the rest of the afternoon, and that evening he’s back to normal.</p><p>She wonders if she should’ve questioned it.</p><p> </p><p>One day a little under half of their class is gone.</p><p>She looks around. “Where <em>is</em> everyone?”</p><p>“You mean you don’t know?” Ino gasps, looking vaguely ill. Her skin’s pale and there’s bags under her eyes.</p><p>She and Naruto glance at one another. She shakes her head.</p><p>The blonde leans in close, voice dropping to a whisper. “The entire Uchiha clan was killed last night. Massacred.”</p><p>She blinked, looking around at the empty seats. Then it hits her. “<em>What</em>?! Even the—”</p><p>Ino shrugged, rubbing her arms. “I don’t know. They haven’t reported any survivors. J-just that the clan compound was—w-was—”</p><p>The blonde began trembling violently, breath coming in harsh gasps. Her eyes widen and she slips an arm around Ino’s shoulders, frantically gesturing to Naruto who looks like he’s confronting a bomb instead of a panicking girl.</p><p>Between them they got Ino sitting down and nibbling half-heartedly on an orange slice. Shikamaru, Kiba and Choji are in just as bad shape. Chouji is chewing his thumb so hard he makes it bleed, while Shika jumps at the slightest sound. Kiba’s just curled around Akamaru.</p><p>Nobody talks much that day.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually the teacher throws his hands up and tells them all to go home early.</p><p>All the other civilian kids leave immediately in twos and threes. The clan kids stay seated.</p><p>Ino laughs hollowly when Sakura asks what’s taking her so long. Chouji won’t stop trembling. The quiet boy in the back buzzes restlessly. Kiba even lets out a <em>whimper</em>.</p><p>She exchanges glances with Sakura and Naruto.</p><p>They’re <em>scared stiff</em>.</p><p>Naruto stands up, and goes to where his stalker and the quiet boy sit at the back of the room. “Hey,” He says, “Wanna walk home with Mayu-chan an’ Sakura-chan an’ Ino an’ Shika an’ Chouji an’ Dogbreath and me?”</p><p>He sounds out of breath once he’s finished.</p><p>“U-um,” The stalker stutters. The quiet boy says, “That will not be necessary. Why? Because...”</p><p>“Oh come off it and walk with us.” She snaps. “We’ll hold hands and everything. Safety in numbers, right Shikamaru?”</p><p>He scoffs, but stares intensely at a spot on the wall. She can practically see the cogs turning in his head.</p><p>“Okay.” He says. “Here’s how we’ll do this.”</p><p> </p><p>They run into Lee on the way out, but he gets incorporated into their weird-dodechahedron-chain-thing easily enough.</p><p>He and Naruto are at the front, laughing and talking like nothing’s wrong. Naruto holds Kiba and his stalker’s hands, while Lee holds the quiet boy’s and Shikamaru’s.</p><p>The clan kids make up a mass in the middle. Kiba (after much grumbling) holds the quiet boy’s other hand, while the stalker holds Ino’s and Shikamaru grasps Chouji’s hand.</p><p>She and Sakura take the rear, holding hands and not doing as good a job as Lee and Naruto at pretending everything’s fine. Sakura’s also holding Ino’s other hand and she’s holding Chouji’s.</p><p>People stare at them as they walk, barely tripping each other up.</p><p>Some snigger, but more look pitying.</p><p>She spots a couple of masks following them at a distance and tightens her grip on Sakura and Chouji.</p><p> </p><p>They go to the compound that’s farthest from the village proper first and work their way in.</p><p>The quiet boy’s father has glasses like his son, and thanks them with a low buzz for returning “Shino”.</p><p>Kiba’s mum gives him a noogie and her dog calls them “good kids” gruffly.</p><p>The stalker is welcomed by an attendant who calls her “Hinata-sama”, flicks cold eyes over them and shuts the door in their faces.</p><p>Ino’s mum is almost in hysterics and she can’t stop hugging and kissing her daughter.</p><p>Chouji’s dad looks on the verge of tears, and he calls them brave for looking after his son.</p><p>Shikamaru’s mum keeps it better together, but her voice cracks when she thanks them.</p><p>When she closes the door on them, Mayu, Naruto, Lee and Sakura all look at each other, pensive and grave. The four “civilians” with no compounds to hide in.</p><p>Not that the compound saved the Uchiha.</p><p>“Wanna go cook something at my place?” She asks.</p><p> </p><p>Her parents return with Gai-sensei and a pink-haired man and a blonde woman who introduce themselves as Kizashi and Mebuki Haruno.</p><p>They hug their daughter for a long time.</p><p>Lee looks longingly at the scene, so Gai-sensei slaps him on the shoulder and challenges him to run 100 times around their garden on his hands. Otou-sama eagerly asks if he can join in, which Gai-sensei enthusiastically agrees with.</p><p>Otou-sama repeatedly falls on his face, but he looks like he’s having fun.</p><p>She checks to see if the meat is done, then calls out that the food she, Naruto, Sakura and Lee have prepared is ready.</p><p>Naruto grabs the extra chairs while Sakura balances a pitcher of ice water and the hot plate and Lee brings out covered dishes of thinly sliced vegetables and rice.</p><p>It’s too hot for hot pot really, and they’re all sweltering as they crowd round the dining table Gai-sensei and Kizashi lugged outside, but at the same time it feels like the heat of the dish could almost burn away the horrors that happened today, warm and mild flavors grounding them in the idea of home and family and making it seem ridiculous that such things could be violated.</p><p> </p><p>Her mother brings out bottles of sake, and she can tell by the way Mebuki Haruno whistles that it’s good stuff.</p><p>She uncorks one bottle and pours a dish out for everyone, even the children.</p><p>Then her father uncorks the other and holds it up in one hand, his sake dish in the other.</p><p>“To the Uchiha. May their memory be honored, may they find justice, and may their spirits be at peace in the next life.”</p><p>“To the Uchiha.” They chorus, and he pours the bottle out into the grass as they drink.</p><p>She’s never had the tongue for alcohol so it doesn’t taste very nice. From the way Naruto’s sticking his tongue out, Sakura’s hacking, and Lee’s pulling a face, they think the same.</p><p><em>Luffy, I know this isn’t really your thing. </em>She thinks. <em>But maybe get Robin or Nami or Brook to help you out. Please, please get those poor souls somewhere they’ll be happy and free. And knock the fucker who did a Buster Call on them out with a gomu gomu no bazooka.</em></p><p>She tosses back the rest of the sake with that silent prayer.</p><p>Naruto leans into her side, resting his head on her shoulder, so she rests her head atop his. Okaa-sama sits down on his other side, taking his hand and carding her free one through Mayu’s hair. Otou-sama brackets them on the other side, throwing an arm over their shoulders and drawing them all together, a bit squashed, and adds his hand to the pile.</p><p>They watch the sun set and mourn the lives lost.</p><p> </p><p>Nobody goes home that night.</p><p>The masks don’t even come for Naruto.</p><p>They end up spread out around the living room, futons and bedding haphazardly laid out.</p><p>She wakes up in the early morning with Naruto spreadeagled beside her on the floor, one foot in her father’s stomach and her mother curled up behind her and—</p><p>
  <em>The mask that hurt her standing over them.</em>
</p><p>She tenses weakly, eyes frantically darting around. Her father is at their feet, so he’ll have to go over them to save her, giving the mask enough time to slit her throat.</p><p>Gai-sensei is sitting in her mother’s armchair, head thrown back and snoring while Lee is curled up on his lap. He won’t get to her in time either.</p><p>Kizashi is squashed on the couch, with Mebuki blocking him in. Sakura is on the coffee table for some reason, cuddling a paperweight. She can’t drag them into this.</p><p>She’s not strong like the Monster Trio. Hell, she can’t even hold a candle to the Coward Trio. There’s no way she’ll be able to take the mask and live to tell the tale. She’ll barely scratch him.</p><p>The mask looks at her. She curls a hand around Naruto’s arm protectively and glares back.</p><p>He raises a single finger the mouth of the mask and bursts into a flurry of leaves.</p><p>She can’t go back to sleep after that.</p><p> </p><p>They’re in the morning paper.</p><p>Not as the front page headline. No, that’s reserved for a picture of a little boy that’s so much like the anime stills that used to be bandied about in flame wars of her past life, with the headline UCHIHA ITACHI CONFIRMED KILLER above it and the phrase SEVEN YEAR OLD SOLE SURVIVOR OF MASSACRE underneath.</p><p>They are halfway down the second page though. There’s a grainy photograph of their hand-holding escort, taken so as to obscure Naruto as much as possible behind Lee.</p><p>It doesn’t quite work, because you can see his hair and ear, and his hands holding Hinata and Kiba, the Uzumaki spiral clearly visible on his shirtsleeve.</p><p>Naruto eagerly points this out, and bragging about how “We’re famous now, believe it!”</p><p>The caption under it reads: <em>Clan and civilian children draw together in historic show of solidarity.</em> Whoever writes for the paper likes alliteration too much for anyone’s good.</p><p>Her father peers at it. “That’s quite a scary face you’re making there Mayu-chan.”</p><p>She says nothing and eats her rice quickly while her mother gives Otou-sama a <em>Look</em>.</p><p>It’s not <em>her</em> fault she was glaring at the masks when the photo was taken.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone’s talking about the photo in class too.</p><p>Ino’s even signing copies of it.</p><p>At least she’s feeling better. The others seem to back to a semblance of normality too.</p><p>All except the stalker. She keeps stealing quick, furtive glances at Naruto, before gazing sadly back down at her hands.</p><p>Ino notices her staring and nudges her. “I heard Hinata’s dad blew a gasket at the picture. Said she’s not allowed to associate with Naruto anymore.” She says conspiratorially.</p><p>She winces. For a moment she’d been so caught up in the sense of communal mourning, she’d forgotten she lived in a world where Naruto was a pariah.</p><p>“Anything we can do?” She murmurs to Ino.</p><p>The blonde purses her lips, tapping her chin, but Sakura, with bags under bloodshot eyes from drinking a bit too much and sleeping on a table, is the one who answers. “Have her sit on the girl’s side of the table. That the way she’s close to Naruto without associating.”</p><p>“Sakura, that’s brilliant!” Ino gushes.</p><p>Instead of blushing and modestly denying the praise like usual, Sakura presses her face into the desk and mumbles, “Fuck yeah I am, shannaro.”</p><p>She cracks up at the expression on Ino’s face.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto invites Shino to sit with him as well to disguise their intentions.</p><p>He accepts, but seems a little on edge with all the noise, curling in on himself a little whenever Ino or Kiba or Naruto go a little loud in the volume department.</p><p>It’s not his fault; some people just don’t do as well with noisy gatherings like this.</p><p>Hinata’s perked up a lot though, so there’s that.</p><p>She tries to follow Ino’s efforts to make Hinata feel included, but her mind keeps going back to the headline picture.</p><p>She knows about him vaguely. She used to participate in many arguments by claiming that Roronoa Zoro would definitely kick his pasty little arse seven ways to Sunday, magic eye or no.</p><p>There were enough pictures and videos of him and Naruto fighting online that she knew they were enemies, even if she didn’t know the whys or hows.</p><p>She knows his brother killed his clan, and the flame wars over whether this was justified would always take over the thread.</p><p>Sitting here with under half the class gone, dark-haired kids whose names she should’ve made more effort to remember, it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. But she digresses.</p><p>The image of the little lost boy staring at the camera like he can’t understand what’s happening to him returns to haunt her. Naruto used to look like that, when he went home covered in rotted produce and belly growling.</p><p>
  <em>Sanji preserve her, but she’s a sap.</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Will the Uchiha go hungry now?” She asks herself, pushing a grain of rice around.</p><p>There’s a silence.</p><p>When she looks up, the rest of the table is staring at her. Some inquisitive, some suddenly calculating, one despairing.</p><p>Naruto groans, startlingly loud. “I’m not sharing my lunch with him. You can make him food, but I’m not gonna sit with him, believe it.”</p><p>“I don’t want to either.” She says honestly, and bites into her red bean bun as those around her stare in bemusement.</p><p>Naruto suddenly grins, bright and vicious. “You’re so <em>weird</em>, Mayu-chan.” He crows, biting into his own bun.</p><p>She shrugs. Well, he’s not wrong.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Naruto is not being helpful.</p><p>At all.</p><p>“Make him the orange curry.” He says. “I heard he loves curry, believe it.”</p><p>“You mean the chicken tikka masala, which you described as ‘fire in food form’?” She asks wryly.</p><p>He points a dramatic finger at her. “YOU ADMIT IT!”</p><p>“Inside voice please, Naruto-kun!” Okaa-sama calls from the other room.</p><p>“Sorry Mayu’s Okaa-san!” He calls back. “But yeah, you should make him eat the fire curry, believe it.”</p><p>She sighs. “I’m not gonna make him eat the ‘fire curry’. I’m not sure if I’m gonna make him any food yet.”</p><p>She looks up when he scoffs, but continues, “...I don’t know if he needs it or not—whether he’s going have a live-in caretaker, or go into the Orphanage with Lee or what. I’ll wait until he comes back to the Academy and then we’ll see.”</p><p>“S’not what it sounded like last week, believe it.” Naruto grumbles.</p><p>He’s sitting on the countertop and banging his heels against the cupboards behind her. Loudly.</p><p>She tries counting to ten in her head.</p><p>She makes it to seven.</p><p> </p><p>She turns and grabs his ankles. “Look, what’s this about?”</p><p>“Nothin’! Leggo!” He scowls and tries to tug his legs out of her grip.</p><p>She wraps her arms around them to prevent his escape, scowling right back.</p><p>“You weren’t like this when I fed Sakura and Lee, or shared food with Kiba and Chouji.” She points out, tightening her grip to stop him from kneeing her in the chin on accident. “What’s so special about Uchiha?”</p><p>“<em>Everyone</em> thinks he’s special!” He yells, going red in the face. “They’re all like ‘oh, isn’t it sad he’s all alone’, like I wasn’t alone too!! I’m sorry his family died, but I never knew mine!! I never <em>had</em> mine!! And no–nobody e-ev-ever told me ‘sorry your parents are gone’ or c-c-cared about—about me being all on my own, except Jiji an’ Teuchi an’ Ayame an’ you an’ Okaa-san an’ Otou-san, an’—a-an’—”</p><p>She watches, horrified, as fat tears slide faster down his face. “An’—an’ now you’re gonna make food f’r <em>him</em>, and you’re gonna like him <em>better</em>’n me, jus’ like Jiji does, an’ you won’t wanna be my friend any-any—”</p><p>She pinches his arm sharply, ignoring his pained yelp.</p><p>“<em>Don’t</em>.” She threatens, swallowing around a lump in her throat. “Don’t you <em>dare</em> spout that nonsense around <em>me</em>, Uzumaki Naruto, do you understand?! How could you—how could you even <em>think</em> that?!”</p><p>“You were gonna give him food.” He sniffs, glaring reproachfully.</p><p>“What—you think—you think I just feed people because I wanna be their <em>friend</em>?!” She asks, incredulous and insulted.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto nods, hesitantly.</p><p>She drags her hands over her face, ignoring that they come away wet.</p><p>“Right. You listen to me Uzumaki, and you listen good. <em>I. Will. Always. Feed. The. Hungry.</em> Even if I <em>hate their guts</em>.”</p><p>Naruto blinks, looking slightly alarmed as she rants. “I didn’t even know Sakura’s <em>name</em> when we made that cake together! I just cooked with her because she was <em>hungry</em>. Shit, if my worst enemy were trying to kill me, and couldn’t finish the job because they were starving, I would feed them. Maybe with foods they hate, but I’d still feed them. Because I am a <em>bloody professional </em>and those who let people go hungry are <em>scum</em>.”</p><p>He startles back as she grabs his knees again. “You are not my friend because <em>I fed you</em>. You are my friend because you stuck around and took me to Ichiraku’s and defended me and you’re nice and funny and gave me a drawing of Luffy and Habu-san and I <em>like</em> you, you little shit. You’re my <em>best friend</em>. I am not replacing you. Not now, not ever. You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not.”</p><p>Naruto gulps, eyes shining bright again and lower lip wobbling.</p><p>She sniffs fiercely, ignoring the trembling in her hands.</p><p>“<em>Ketsugi Mayu.</em>” Okaa-sama’s voice comes from behind her, and her blood runs cold. “<em>What</em> have I told you about using profanity?”</p><p> </p><p>That’s how she ends up on another week-long ban from cooking.</p><p>Naruto tries to make it up to her with a stream of too-tight hugs.</p><p>It partly works. Partly.</p><p>Otou-sama clicks his tongue at her when he gets home and Okaa-sama tells him what happened, and musses up her hair.</p><p>Then he picks up Naruto and spins him around like he used to do to her when she was small, and carries him into the entrance hall to sit on the stairs, the one place in the house where there are no nearby windows.</p><p>She tries to listen in while she’s setting the table, standing closer to the door than she really needs to.</p><p>“...not for that, you’d be wearing a pelican...” is all she hears before Okaa-sama grabs her shoulder and steers her back into the kitchen.</p><p>Naruto’s eyes are swollen again when her father carries him back in for dinner.</p><p>Hers and Okaa-sama’s ramen still isn’t as good as Teuchi-sama’s at Ichiraku’s. But Naruto eats it just as quickly, eagerly gulping down the shoyu broth and pouting over-dramatically when there aren’t seconds.</p><p>Okaa-sama insists he wash his face before he leaves so his eyes aren’t sore tomorrow.</p><p>It’s cutting very close to his curfew when he finally leaves, twisting around to look back at them as he walks down the street.</p><p>Okaa-sama and Otou-sama hug her before she goes to bed that night and tell her how proud of her they are.</p><p>She returns the embrace greedily, whispering she’s proud of them too.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke Uchiha doesn’t return to school for another two weeks.</p><p>During that time, Kiba managed to insult Shino by repeatedly asking if he was <em>sure</em> his bugs weren’t fleas.</p><p>She didn’t understand the comment, until <em>literal insects begin pouring out of Shino’s sleeves</em> and chasing Kiba and Akamaru.</p><p>Well, that explained the buzzing.</p><p>Ino added to the pandemonium by shrieking so loud she thought her eardrums would burst and swatting a load of the insects in one swipe. Which made Shino howl in pain and turn his wrath on her as well.</p><p>The teacher had given them all detention, on the grounds that none of them stopped the incident from happening or went and snitched to him.</p><p>She sat between Shino and Sakura and doodled Usopp on the worksheet they were supposed to be working on.</p><p>Ino was sandwiched somewhat unwillingly by Chouji and Shikamaru, who were whispering furiously to her. Kiba was in a similar position with Hinata and Naruto.</p><p>“That person cannot be real, or you are bad at drawing.” Shino said, peeking at her paper. “Why? Because his nose is impractically long.”</p><p>“<em>Shino</em>!” Sakura hissed from her other side. “That’s not very nice!”</p><p>“He may not be real, but I like him anyway.” She replied, tapping the pencil against the paper. “His name is Usopp. He’s a pirate sharpshooter who can hit anything with a slingshot.”</p><p>“Unlikely. Why? Because a slingshot does not have half the accuracy or firing power of a bow, a shuriken, or a firing arm.”</p><p>“For him it does.” She says fondly. “He’s also a coward, but he’s brave when it counts and he loves insects. It’s funny, because they’re just about the one thing he doesn’t run away from.”</p><p>“Ah.” Shino says. He takes another, longer look at the drawing.</p><p> </p><p>The next day, Ino and Kiba apologize to Shino with a wounded air.</p><p>He nods stiffly, but still flinches away from Ino.</p><p>At lunchtime, he sits in between Shikamaru and Chouji, and Ino switches places with her to be at the end of the table, away from him.</p><p>She offers him half of an egg and watercress sandwich. He accepts it with a nod.</p><p>He lifts his sleeve onto the table.</p><p>While everyone else draws in a wary breath, insects, shiny-black and dull brown, crawl out onto the table.</p><p>They crawl around and settle down and hold still in a certain pattern. Black ones mimicking waves of curls and dark eyes with long eyelashes. Brown ones outlining a bandana, a jawline and an impractically long nose.</p><p>It’s Usopp.</p><p>Or the not-very-good drawing of Usopp she showed him yesterday. But still. Usopp.</p><p>She grins widely, darting a pleased look up at him.</p><p>Shino nods again, the insects breaking formation and trundling back up his sleeve. He begins eating the sandwich.</p><p>She looks up to find Ino looking...strangely elated?</p><p>Sakura wiggles her eyebrows at her, mouthing ‘we are going to <em>talk</em>’.</p><p>She rolls her eyes and tucks into her own lunch.</p><p> </p><p>“Mayu-chan, is it true you’re in love with Shino?!”</p><p>Naruto bursts out with this question just as Otou-sama takes a sip of his orange juice at breakfast.</p><p>Otou-sama chokes on his juice, and Okaa-sama leans over with a concerned “Anata!” as he coughs, going red in the face.</p><p>Gai-sensei stares at her, lower lip wobbling.</p><p>Lee just tilts his head at Naruto and goes, “Who is Shino?”</p><p>“He’sh the bug guy.” Naruto says with his mouth full, the traitor. “He did Mayu-chan a pishture with bugs.”</p><p>Rice falls from her chopsticks and splats onto the table.</p><p>“HOW YOUTHFUL!!!” Gai-sensei wails. “Mayu-chan is experiencing the blossoming of ROMANCE!!”</p><p>“No.” She says desperately. “I’m not. Really, really not.”</p><p>Shino is <em>seven years old</em>. She’s mentally twenty (most of the time) and not a pedophile.</p><p>“Ah! Congratulations, Mayu-chan!” Lee beams. “I hope your love is as passionate as the Will of Fire!”</p><p>
  <em>Nami give her patience.</em>
</p><p>“Naruto, who did you hear this from?” She asks.</p><p>Her chopsticks creak in her grip.</p><p>“Sakura-chan!” He chirps, pointing an accusing finger at her. “She said you showed him a picture of long-nose-guy who likes bugs after Ino squished his, and then he did the picture in bugs, an’ you were really happy! She called it suuuuuuper ro-man-tick, believe it!”</p><p>“He’s not ‘long-nose-guy’.” She seethes, plotting Sakura’s demise. Or not demise. Inconvenient disappearance due to her hair turning green, maybe. “His name is <em>Usopp</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Okaa-sama kneels in front of her. “Mayu-chan...would you like us to send a request for marriage negotiations to this boy’s family?”</p><p>It goes so silent one could hear a pin drop.</p><p>“Marriage <em>what</em>.” She wheezes.</p><p>Okaa-sama squeezes her hands. “I know it may seem sudden.” She says. “But...with the Ketsugi clan being what it is...”</p><p>“What your mother’s trying to say Mayu-chan,” Her father cuts in, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Is that clans are required to do things certain ways, or else they risk dissolution. Even branches like us. But we want you to be <em>happy</em>. And if you think that you l-love this boy, and that you would enjoy living your life with him...”</p><p>Her mouth works soundlessly. Naruto and Lee just look extremely confused.</p><p>Gai-sensei has stopped crying, at least. But he’s frowning, bushy brows furrowed.</p><p>“Your father and I...we were very lucky with each other.” Okaa-sama smiles softly. “We want you to have that same luck, or better, if you can.”</p><p>“You did not have a choice in your love?” Gai-sensei’s voice is strangely soft.</p><p>Her parents immediately fluster, going redder than beetroot.</p><p>“That’s, um—” Her father stammers. “We, ah—” Her mother squeaks.</p><p>“HOW INCREDIBLY YOUTHFUL OF YOU TWO!!!” He yells, tears springing anew to his eyes as he somehow sweeps both of her parents up in a hug. “TO MANAGE TO FIND LOVE IN EACH OTHER WHERE OTHERS ONLY CARED ABOUT OBLIGATION!! I AM OVERWHELMED WITH ADMIRATION FOR YOUR DEVOTION!!”</p><p>She can practically see the steam coming out of Otou-sama and Okaa-sama’s ears. That much blood in someone’s face can’t be healthy.</p><p>She shoves the last of her rice into her mouth, shooting Naruto a look that has him eating his double-time and helping to feed Lee the remnants of his breakfast while he’s left starry-eyed by the adults’ display.</p><p>She scribbles a brief note explaining that no, Shino’s just a friend, there’s no need for any marriage arrangements until she’s at <em>least</em> twenty.</p><p>Then she grabs Naruto, Lee, and their bentos, and runs like her life depends on it.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura makes the mistake of waving when she sees them come in through the gate.</p><p>Her expression goes from smiling to wary when she sees Mayu drop the two boys and zero in on the pink-haired girl</p><p>“Haruno.” She growls. “<em>Run</em>.”</p><p>Haruno Sakura runs.</p><p>And escapes up into a tree. Which she’s never been very good at climbing.</p><p>She scowls and kicks the trunk, wishing it would break.</p><p>“Get down here so I can punch you in the shins.” She tells the tree grumpily.</p><p>“What?! Why?! I didn’t do anything!!” Sakura’s voice emerges from between the leaves.</p><p>“<em>You told Naruto I was in love with Shino.</em>” She hisses.</p><p>The tree is suspiciously quiet. “...No I didn’t.”</p><p>She raises her eyebrows. “Yeah, pray to Usopp to make you better at lying. Because that one’s awful.”</p><p>The tree’s leaves rustle indignantly. “But I didn’t! I was just talking to Ino about how you two would be cute as a couple, and Naruto was eavesdropping!!”</p><p>“You told <em>INO</em>?!” That’s it, her life here is over, time to run away to become a pirate before the engagement can be arranged. </p><p>“Sakura, I’ve just barely convinced my parents to stop planning marriage negotiations!!” She seethes. “Ino will tell <em>everyone</em> and set back all my progress!!”</p><p>There’s a moment of quiet.</p><p>Then a strange, high-pitched noise begins emanating from the tree. Across the schoolyard, Akamaru whimpers and buries his head in his paws. It sounds a bit like a dentist’s drill, so it takes her a moment to place it.</p><p>“<em>NO</em>!!” She roars, red-faced and pointing an accusing finger at the tree. “STOP SQUEALING! THIS IS <em>NOT</em> SOMETHING TO SQUEAL ABOUT!!”</p><p>Sakura does not listen.</p><p>She ends up squealing and kicking her little legs so hard she falls out of the tree.</p><p>Luckily Lee dives under her, and she considers the expression Sakura makes at realizing exactly <em>who</em> caught her adequate punishment. </p><p> </p><p>It takes her an <em>entire day </em>to sort this mess out.</p><p>Ino and Sakura take sadistic joy in her suffering. Lee is confused but supportive. Hinata and Shikamaru stay out of it as much as they can.</p><p>Kiba and Naruto exploit it to tease her and Shino for all they’re worth. So does the rest of the class, once they realize they now have prime taunting material.</p><p>Hell, even <em>the teacher</em> gets in on it by telling Shino he doesn’t know what he sees in her, and that a kunoichi who wasn’t afraid of hand signs would be a much more suitable match for a clan heir like him.</p><p>She gets detention for flipping him off.</p><p>Only Shino and Chouji seem to be as upset as she is.</p><p>She never realized what a loyal and true friend Chouji was before this.</p><p>She needs to appreciate him more.</p><p>She brings extra pork belly for him in her lunch the next day, to thank him for not betraying her.</p><p>His eyes light up when she gives him the food and a hug, and he eats eagerly.</p><p>Shino spends all of that morning with his head on the table. He only turns it to the side when Shikamaru finally pokes him.</p><p>“I am contemplating running away.” He says solemnly. “Why? Because my father spent all of yesterday evening trying to reassure me about the rumors surrounding Ketsugi-san and myself and telling me I will be a catch when I am older.”</p><p>She grimaces in commiseration. She finally got through to her parents and Gai-sensei, but they had then insisted on telling her similar platitudes all throughout breakfast.</p><p>She thought she knew embarrassment. She was wrong. Horribly, <em>horribly</em> wrong.</p><p>Out of the corner of her eye, she spots a dark-haired head where there isn’t one normally.</p><p>She does a double take.</p><p>“Wait,” She asks, throughly confused. “When did Uchiha get back?”</p><p>The table freezes. Most of them twist around to confirm that, yes, Uchiha Sasuke is sitting at a desk at the far end of the classroom, glaring at them darkly while eating a tomato slice.</p><p>“Yesterday.” Shikamaru says dryly.</p><p>He then winces at Ino’s ear-piercing shriek, berating him loudly for not saying something earlier.</p><p> </p><p>That people forget (mostly) about her and Shino is about the only good thing to come from Uchiha Sasuke’s return.</p><p>She vaguely remembers him pre-massacre. He seemed alright enough, but he hung out with a different group of people to her and Naruto, so they never interacted much.</p><p>Those people appear to be gone now though, given how alone he is now.</p><p>This suggests he never had any friends outside of his relatives, which she’ll admit is a bit odd, given how large that group was.</p><p>Guess there were more Uchiha in the class than she thought? But that doesn’t feel right...</p><p>Point is, he was an okay kid with friends.</p><p>Now, he’s...not.</p><p>Not for lack of trying of course. She finally understands what Naruto meant by “special”.</p><p>Even outside the well-wishers who repeatedly try to convey their condolences, half the girls in the class seem to lose their heads over him as the weeks go on.</p><p>Ino in particular begins to sing his praises endlessly, going on about how “aloof” and “cool” he is, to the point where Chouji, patient, kind <em>Chouji</em>, begs her to talk about <em>anything</em> else.</p><p>This is why she should’ve been reborn into One Piece. She wouldn’t have had to deal with this romance bullshit in a series where the main character’s asexual.</p><p>Sakura just sighs and stares at him, ignorant of how Naruto droops every time she does so.</p><p>(She tries to console him with extra food and too-tight hugs. It partly works. Partly.)</p><p>Even the teacher uses him as the standard against which all their work is judged, praising his stance in the Academy katas, his precision with throwing weapons, his answers on tests.</p><p>To hear others say it, Uchiha Sasuke is a prodigy who’s overcome his trauma through sheer determination and talent.</p><p>So why does he keep glowering at their lunchtime group like they’re somehow part of his tragedy?</p><p> </p><p>It has to come to a head at some point.</p><p>She knows something bad’s going to happen when the teacher tells them they’re going be fighting one another in pairs in the center of a taped-off square. Winners either force their opponents out of the square or put them in a position where a killing blow could be struck.</p><p>Their classmates stand around the edge to watch and cheer.</p><p><em>Chopper’s Rumble Balls</em>. This couldn’t scream “blood sport” any harder if they were in a cage arena and betting on the matches.</p><p>Though she thinks she does spot some money changing hands...</p><p>First up is Shikamaru vs Chouji. Shikamaru promptly declares it a drag and flings himself out of the square at Chouji’s first blow. Chouji looks worried right up until Shika rolls onto his side for a nap. Then he just looks exasperated.</p><p>Then Chouji’s set against Hinata. They’re both too hesitant to really hit each other, but eventually Hinata manages to get him to step out of the square through speed and disorientation.</p><p>Hinata versus Kiba. Kiba versus Ino. Ino versus Fuuka. Ino versus Shino. Shino versus Sasuke. Sasuke versus Sakura. Sasuke versus Mori, Ami, Yosuke, an endless number of civilian kids he effortlessly beats in one or two blows, using moves that don’t look like the Academy kata they’ve learned.</p><p>Sasuke versus Naruto.</p><p>She shoots him a thumbs up and a grin as he goes into the ring. He beams back, returning the gesture before focusing.</p><p> </p><p>The pair of them make the silly-looking “Seal of Confrontation”.</p><p>Naruto takes up the opening position for Strong Fist style.</p><p>Sasuke, with his hands in his pockets, snorts dismissively.</p><p>“Begin!” The teacher yells.</p><p>Uchiha fakes a punch like the one that dropped Mori, before going for the sweeping kick that knocked Ami and Junko on their backs.</p><p>Naruto doesn’t balk at the feint and neatly hops over the sweep (Gai-sensei’s training makes you good at dodging), jabbing a quick palm strike into Uchiha’s chest.</p><p>Sasuke stumbles. He’s frowning. So’s the teacher. This isn’t the way they expected this to go.</p><p>She grins, fiercely proud. <em>Good.</em></p><p>Uchiha’s style is fast. The teacher is right that it’s technically flawless, leg perfectly straight with every kick, stance perfectly solid for every punch. He’s clearly been trained in this from a young age.</p><p>But he’s skinnier than he used to be, and his lunchboxes are pathetic. It’s simple, easy-prep foods, under or overcooked rice and ragged tomato slices, which aren’t <em>bad</em>, but shouldn’t be the <em>only</em> foods he’s eating if he wants to have strength and energy.</p><p>Naruto’s still got some kinks in his form he’s got to work on with Gai-sensei, overbalancing here, not defending there. But he can take his opponent’s blows, and his own land with all the force of a freight train, mixing up Strong Fist, Academy style, and what looks like street brawling.</p><p>Naruto’s also been eating well-balanced diet for as long as he’s known her, which may not count for much in the long term, but it’s counting here.</p><p>Because, as much of a prodigy as Sasuke is, it’s slowly becoming apparent that he’s on even ground in this fight, and may even be <em>losing</em>.</p><p>“Come on, Naruto!” She yells, as he manages to kick Uchiha’s ankle out from under him and—</p><p> </p><p><em>FWEEEEEEET</em>!!</p><p>Kiba and Akamaru yelp as the teacher keeps blowing a whistle until he’s red in the face, yanking Naruto away from his opponent by his collar.</p><p>“I said we would be sparring WITH ACADEMY KATAS, Uzumaki!” He roars. “If you can’t keep to SIMPLE INSTRUCTION, you’ll be spending the rest of the MONTH in DETENTION, do you hear me?!”</p><p>Naruto’s looking stunned and frightened, like he’s not sure what he did to merit this reaction. “B-but—”</p><p>The teacher drops Naruto with a dismissive, “Disqualified. Match default to Uchiha Sasuke.”</p><p>“But that’s not <em>fair</em>!” She howls. Chouji’s holding her hand tight, probably so she doesn’t do something stupid like try to break this hypocritical farce of an educator’s kneecaps.</p><p>Kiba points at Uchiha. “<em>He’s</em> been using non-academy techniques since his match with Bug-boy! How come you haven’t pulled him, huh?”</p><p>The teacher sniffs. “Sasuke is advanced in taijutsu and can be trusted not to seriously damage his opponents. Uzumaki is too violent and out of control to be trusted—only once he masters the Academy Three will he have the discipline to avoid reckless stunts like this. And if you’re done shrieking, Ketsugi, get your behind in the ring.”</p><p>Her ears burn hot. She wants to hurt somebody. She wants to hurt them badly, for even being witness to Naruto’s ill-treatment. It’s not a nice feeling, hot and roiling in her belly like bile.</p><p>Don’t act out aggression violently. That’ll just give the masks ammunition and they’ll <em>hurt</em> you. Remember what Okaa-sama said. If calming down is impossible, escape the situation.</p><p>“<em>Sorry</em>.” She can’t stop herself from snapping. “I’m not <em>disciplined</em> enough to avoid <em>breaking</em> your <em>sheltered little prodigy</em>.”</p><p>She stomps over to Naruto and helps him up. His palm is trembling in hers as she leads him away, ignoring the Uchiha’s insulted look and the teacher’s yells.</p><p>They’ve both had enough of the academy for today.</p><p> </p><p>Bread is excellent for venting anger.</p><p>She’s probably overworking the dough, but better that than doing something she’ll regret later. Like kicking the stupid teacher as hard as she can between his stupid legs.</p><p>Naruto’s despondently fiddling with Habu-san’s leaves.</p><p>“I wouldn’t have hurt him.” He murmurs. “I’ve done it with you an’ Lee an’ you two haven’t been hurt, right?”</p><p>“No, we weren’t. But you would’ve beat him. Pass me a bit?” She washes the rosemary off, muttering darkly as she pats them dry. “He didn’t want you to win and make his little teacher’s pet look bad.”</p><p>Naruto’s brow furrows as she folds the rosemary into the dough, placing it in a bowl and covering it with plastic wrap and leaving it aside for the first prove, setting the timer for an hour.</p><p>“You’re really mad, aren’t you? You’re not even doing the singy thing.”</p><p>She stops in the midst of washing her hands. “Singy thing?”</p><p>Naruto shrugs. “Yeah, when you cook normally, you do this thing. Like you’re singin’ but there’s no words an’ the sounds are all weird. Like this.”</p><p>Then, in quiet, heavily accented <em>English</em> he croons, «An’all the roads we have to walk are WINDing, an’all the lights that lead us there’re BLINDing, THERE are many THINGS that I Would LIKE to SAY to YOU—»</p><p>She covers his mouth with a wet hand, because if she has to hear Naruto sing any more of <em>that song</em> she’s gonna either crack up or melt into a little puddle of shame on the floor. “Yes, I get the idea, thank you Naruto.”</p><p>Then she shrieks because he’s <em>licked her hand</em> and seizes his shirt so he can’t escape as she wipes off the saliva off on his cheek, before he grabs her other arm and rubs his face on it.</p><p>They end up wrestling until the timer shrills that it’s time to take the bread out and knead it again.</p><p> </p><p>She has to rewash and dry her hands before she can touch the dough.</p><p>“D’you wanna talk to Gai-sensei about it? He could always go and kick the teacher’s a—butt until he lets you use Strong Fist.”</p><p>He shrugs, gaping at how the dough has doubled in size. “I’unno. Maybe I’ll ask him to drill me on the Three?</p><p>She blinks, eyebrows raised.</p><p>Naruto shoots her a cheeky grin. “He did <em>say</em> I could do whatever I wanted once I mastered it.”</p><p>She snorts gleefully. “<em>Do it.</em> See if you can beat everybody using just that.”</p><p>There’s a comfortable silence as she kneads, then stretches the dough to see if it has the proper consistency, before folding in more rosemary and putting it back in the bowl for the second prove.</p><p>“He felt really light. When I was fighting him.” Naruto says slowly. “I think he could...y’know...”</p><p>He wraps his hand around his wrist, where his thumb and pointer finger can no longer touch.</p><p>She hums. “You think I should feed him.”</p><p>Naruto nods rapidly, giving her his damn puppy-eyes again.</p><p>Technically, Uchiha’s got food in abundance. She sees it when they run by the worn down compound on Gai-sensei’s laps in the morning, bags of rice and fruit and vegetable baskets and freezers waiting outside the complex for its sole occupant to collect them.</p><p>The problem is that he obviously has no idea what to do with all of it.</p><p>And despite said lack of expertise, he still refuses all of his fangirls’ offers of lunchboxes made with their <em>feelings</em> and lives off of rice and tomatoes. It’s probably a pride thing. Sanji would—</p><p>Wait. <em>Pride</em>.</p><p>She removes the dough from the second prove, scores its top and sprinkles some salt over it, covering the baking tray with foil and sliding it into the hot oven. “I have an idea to feed him.”</p><p>Naruto cheers, leaning forward eagerly.</p><p>“We’re going to have to eat the ‘fire curry’ tomorrow.”</p><p>Naruto slumps down, exuding betrayal from every pore.</p><p> </p><p>She makes four servings of chicken tikka masala.</p><p>Three for their plan, and one for Lee.</p><p>She’s not going to make one of his favorite foods and then not have a portion ready for him. That’d just be cruel.</p><p>He’s horrified when Naruto recounts what happened in the spar, puffing up in indignation when he hears of the stolen victory and baseless favor bestowed on his opponent.</p><p>She’s never seen Gai-sensei look so stony-faced as when he hears what the teacher said about Naruto being <em>violent</em> and <em>lacking discipline</em>.</p><p>He does his usual tears of joy when Naruto asks about drilling in the Academy Three, yelling for all and sundry to hear about, “the BLOSSOMING of your YOUTHFUL WILL OF FIRE!!”</p><p>But they’re close enough to see it’s more playacting than his usual dramatics, his expression subtly determined and scheming as he makes them run through Academy kata.</p><p>Otou-sama makes them both promise to come to him or Gai-sensei if the teacher tries anything like this again, drumming his fingers on the hilt of the bokken he always carries.</p><p>This is despite the on-again off-again debate he’s been having with Okaa-sama since last night over whether Hokage-sama and the Village Council will take it poorly if he attempts to intercede on Naruto’s behalf.</p><p>At least they both agree to trust Gai-sensei to act for them if they can’t intervene, even if they both end up blushing that deep beetroot shade and staring off into the distance at the mention of him.</p><p> </p><p>The teacher glares at them when they walk into class.</p><p>She glares right back, and it’s only because Naruto’s holding her hand that she doesn’t immediately flip him off again.</p><p>Surprisingly the teacher doesn't make any mentions of punishments for their skiving yesterday, though he looks like he wants to.</p><p>The Uchiha is also glaring at them, but in a slightly more considering fashion.</p><p>They need to play this carefully—too little, and he may not even approach them, and Hinata might end up with a competitor for her stalking. Too much and he’ll wise up to what they’re doing, which will probably make him deliberately avoid them because he feels slighted.</p><p>So she leans over to Naruto and whispers, “His hair looks like a duck’s butt.”</p><p>Naruto snorts a little too loudly, glancing over and away not-quite-quickly enough not to be obvious, snickering as he takes his seat for class.</p><p>She mentally fist pumps as the Uchiha catches the looks and laughter but not the words that caused them, bristling like a wet cat.</p><p>Ino sends her a calculating look, and she smiles innocently back before focusing on the lesson.</p><p> </p><p>At lunchtime, Naruto waits until after they’ve carefully reheated the curry and are on their way back to the classroom to begin complaining loudly about how it’s too spicy, and she and Lee are secretly robots for being able to eat it.</p><p>She falls into the swing of the argument, projecting her voice so anybody could easily hear her say that this isn’t even the spiciest curry she can make (it isn’t), and that Naruto doesn’t really have anything to complain about with the huge serving of sour cream she brought along for him, dulling it down for his delicate tastebuds.</p><p>They’ve no sooner re-entered the classroom than the Uchiha stands, striding over to them.</p><p>“Fight me.” He says to Naruto.</p><p>Naruto blinks, the picture of bemused innocence. “Now? But it’s lunch.”</p><p>She rolls her eyes dismissively. “Leave it Naruto. He’s just a sore loser who’ll run to the teacher when you win again. Let’s eat.”</p><p>He steps in front of her, blocking her path. “I am <em>not</em>.” He grits out, brows furrowed. “I could’ve won yesterday, if not for the <em>interference</em>.”</p><p>Oooh, someone’s bitter.</p><p>She pretends she’s Sanji looking down on Zoro, channels that disdain into every aspect of her posture. “What? You and your basic white rice lunches? <em>Please</em>.”</p><p>“Yeah, <em>everyone</em> knew I was gonna win yesterday.” Naruto boasts, cocky façade not quite hiding the slyness in his eyes. “You’re just lucky Mizuki-sensei likes you too much to let you lose.”</p><p>“I bet he couldn’t even stomach my curry.” She says, faux-conspiratorially.</p><p>Naruto shoots her an affronted look. “Only <em>robots</em> can eat your curry.” He says. “Even <em>I</em> can’t handle it.”</p><p>“Sasuke-kun could do it!” Ino improvises, flouncing over uninvited. “He can do anything better than <em>you</em> can, Naruto, isn’t that right Sasuke-kun?” She flutters her eyelashes at him.</p><p>She holds her breath. This wasn’t part of the plan. If this tips him off...</p><p>Uchiha Sasuke eyes Ino, then turns away from her with a dismissive huff. “Whatever. I bet it isn’t even <em>that</em> spicy.”</p><p>“Care to prove it?” She challenges sweetly.</p><p>“<em>Gladly</em>.” He growls back, ignorant of the discreet thumbs up Naruto flashes Ino.</p><p> </p><p>Turns out Uchiha actually can handle spice a little more than Naruto can.</p><p>That’s not saying much to be honest.</p><p>His face has turned a healthy pink as he eats, despite the face that she gave him the portion with rice.</p><p>He’s refused all of Naruto’s offers to share the sour cream so far, intent on finishing it as is.</p><p>He’s also picky, pushing the red peppers and onions to one side as he eats.</p><p>Maybe she should feel bad for pointing that out and telling him it sounds like he’s trying to say he can’t do it when he grudgingly admits that he doesn’t like them, but she’s on a mission here.</p><p>He’s not going to get his vitamins by leaving anything behind on his plate.</p><p>Plus this way when they plot their next avenue of attack, she can tailor the meals a little more so he doesn’t fuss as much.</p><p>Eventually he finishes his meal.</p><p>He then seizes Sakura’s juice box and chugs it without so much as a by your leave. Not that the girl seems to mind, given how she promptly swoons and collapses into Hinata’s lap.</p><p>Ino pouts, despite sitting in the coveted next-to-Sasuke-kun spot.</p><p>“There.” He says, panting like he’s run a marathon. “I did it. Fight me.”</p><p>“Okay.” She replies. “But if I win, I get to look in your kitchen.”</p><p>He squints, a look of offense crossing his face that’s so comical she has to fight not to laugh. “Not you. Naruto.”</p><p>“Okay.” Naruto says. “But it’s gotta be on Monday after school—it’s Ichiraku’s night tonight and ‘m seein’ Jiji this weekend. Also if I win, Mayu gets to look at stuff in your kitchen.”</p><p>Uchiha Sasuke shoots him a look of profound betrayal. “...Fine.” He eventually concedes. “When I win, Ketsugi’s not allowed to force me to eat her cooking again.”</p><p>The poor boy, she muses to herself, as she and Naruto shake on it with him.</p><p>He could’ve stood a chance if he hadn’t stipulated that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Uchiha compound is creepy.</p>
<p>It’s the same way Auschwitz is creepy. The knowledge of the atrocities committed there, combined with all the little context clues which make it <em>more</em> than just knowledge.</p>
<p>Smashed windows, run down storefronts, overgrown gardens, doors hanging off of rusted hinges. Random objects scattered around, as though waiting for their owners to pick them up.</p>
<p>Brownish stains everywhere.</p>
<p>This is what she always imagined the aftermath of a Buster Call would look like.</p>
<p>Except this is.</p>
<p>Real.</p>
<p>She shudders and clutches Naruto’s hand tighter. He squeezes back, averting his eyes.</p>
<p>Uchiha scoffs in front of them.</p>
<p>She frowns at his back. What, are they not allowed to be disturbed by the scene of a genocide? Still, she’s surprised he can stomach cutting through here, even if it is a shortcut to their destination.</p>
<p>“Is it far to your house?”</p>
<p>“Hn.” He says.</p>
<p>She scowls at his back. So much for pleasant conversation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eventually they come to a large house at the very center of the compound.</p>
<p>There’s more brownish stains here than in the rest of the compound, but Uchiha pushes the front door open.</p>
<p>“...Don’t bother taking your shoes off.” He says. “Training ground’s this way.”</p>
<p>“Wait.” Naruto stops dead, looking around wild-eyed. “You said the trainin’ ground was near where you live.”</p>
<p>The Uchiha actually turns around at this. “Yeah, and?”</p>
<p>She stares at the dusty, dark interior of the house. She closes her eyes and counts to ten.</p>
<p>“Sasuke-kun.” She says with her brightest smile. “Is there anyone living with you at the moment who looks after you?”</p>
<p>He shudders. “N-no. That’s stupid, I’m an <em>Uchiha</em>. I don’t need to be <em>looked after.</em> And d-don’t call me that ever again.”</p>
<p>She keeps smiling as she buries her face in her hands and tries not to scream. For the love of Luffy, Chopper and Robin, <em>how is this child not a gibbering wreck?</em></p>
<p>Naruto gestures wildly at their surroundings. “But why—why’d you live here?! The village gave me an apartment! Why live where—”</p>
<p>He clamps down on the sentence. But it’s too late.</p>
<p>“What? Where my an-bro-broth—where <em>That Man</em> murdered my family?” Uchiha sneers. “A clanless moron like you wouldn’t get it.”</p>
<p>Naruto flinches a little.</p>
<p>“Well <em>no one</em> can if you don’t use your words and explain this shit.” She snaps, irritated. “People aren’t mind-readers you know.”</p>
<p>He stiffens, lip curling, before turning his back on them again. “Let’s just get this over with.”</p>
<p>She throws her hands up into the air as Naruto cracks his knuckles, following him into the darkness of the house. “Bring it, jerk.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Much like the spar at the Academy, the two of them are on even ground initially.</p>
<p>Also like the spar at the Academy, it’s not long until Uchiha begins losing.</p>
<p>Even without an audience, Uchiha has something to prove in this fight, and that distracts him instead of motivating him.</p>
<p>All the little needling remarks they’ve been making clearly get under his skin and making him lash out where it would’ve been smarter to play it safe, his stances and footwork becoming less precise and more sloppy as he frantically tries to beat Naruto down and make him <em>stay</em> down.</p>
<p>Whereas Naruto can easily dodge or shrug off these blows, redirecting the motion and using the openings to hit back.</p>
<p>She winces gleefully at a particularly painful hit on Naruto’s part. They’ve trained under Gai-sensei. One of the first things he taught them was the importance of letting your emotions fuel your resolve instead of trying to keep them separate and leaving them liable to distract you at the worst opportunity.</p>
<p>Naruto knocks Uchiha’s ankle out from under him and carefully controls the fall so Uchiha doesn’t even end up winded, but is definitely pinned with no hope of escape.</p>
<p>She grins widely, crowing. “Finished! Match victory to Uzumaki Naruto!”</p>
<p>Naruto promptly leaps up and begins whooping, running in circles around Uchiha, while the boy on the ground shouts that this wasn’t <em>fair</em>, he was only <em>warming up</em>, they need to go another round so they can clearly see how strong he is.</p>
<p>She just keeps grinning fiercely. “It’s better to accept loss with grace, Uchiha-san. Now, where’s your kitchen?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This...</p>
<p>This is a travesty.</p>
<p>If Sanji was here, he’d kick Uchiha Sasuke so hard he’d rearrange his entire shitty face. Of course, given the track record of that move, it’d probably end up improving his looks, but still. Travesty.</p>
<p>There’s fruit shoved into pile in a corner and moldering, glimpses of white-green fuzz visible. </p>
<p>There’s packets of meat and fish in the fridge that have been carelessly torn and <em>left</em> open, their juices dripping down onto other items.</p>
<p>There’s eggs and yogurt left out on the countertop, already long curdled by the smell of them.</p>
<p>There’s congealed leftovers shoved into the fridge on the plates they were served on, without any foil or covers to protect them.</p>
<p>There’s grimy and poorly cleaned utensils sitting in a sink full of dirty water, and the countertops themselves are covered in stains from previous cooking attempts.</p>
<p>At least he knows milk goes into the fridge, and put the tomatoes in the cooler drawer. Even if they’re so squished together over half of them are bruised.</p>
<p>She takes a deep breath and tries not to choke on the stench. <em>Sanji give me strength.</em></p>
<p>“Well.” She says brightly. “Congratulations. You’ve managed to somehow be <em>even worse</em> than my shittiest expectations.”</p>
<p>Uchiha glares at her out of a swelling black eye. “Shut up.”</p>
<p>She hangs her head, exhaling harshly. Not constructive Ketsugi.</p>
<p>“Right. Where do you keep your bin bags? The bigger the better I think.” She steps up to the sink, pulling the plug and letting the grime drain away, turning the tap on as far as it can go on “hot”.</p>
<p>Naruto makes a face at the rattling sound the drain makes, the expression pulling at his fat lip. She sighs. “Rubber gloves too, if you have them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Your problem.” She tells him, in the middle of sorting through the fruit and seeing what’s salvageable and what has to go, “Is that you have too much food.”</p>
<p>They’re on the fourth bin bag already, having filled the other three with the contents of the fridge and carried them out to a monstrous skip at the back of the compound.</p>
<p>“You have loads of people giving you more than you can feasibly eat, let alone prepare.” She continues, grimacing at a particularly fluffy punnet of cherries. “So it goes to waste. You need to begin doing your own shopping. Or telling some of them thanks but no thanks. Or, hell, even donating the extra stuff to people who can use it.”</p>
<p>“Like who?” Uchiha asks dismissively, as he reorganizes his pantry so things aren’t just thrown in there willy-nilly, carefully sweeping up spilled grains of rice or flour or sugar or pasta into a dustpan as he goes.</p>
<p>“The Orphanage.” Naruto throws out as he scrubs pots and pans until they gleam under almost-boiling water. “They’d always tell me they never had enough food to go around when I lived there.”</p>
<p>Sasuke’s face is wrought with some complex emotion when he next empties the dustpan into the bag, his mouth twisting when she mutters, “Wouldn’t get it, huh?” striding back into the pantry like he hadn’t heard her.</p>
<p>She tilts an avocado, marveling at how much it feels like a rock, and says in a louder voice, “You could always see if there are any charities or soup kitchens that would appreciate the donations. Even I could always take some of what’s left over and make you something with it.”</p>
<p>“...” There’s a lot of judgement she doesn’t appreciate in that silence.</p>
<p>“I don’t <em>just</em> make curries.” She replies snidely, stuffing some rotten bananas into the bag with more force than is perhaps strictly necessary. “I do lots of other foods. Right Naruto?”</p>
<p>“Yeah!” He says, depositing a metal spoon onto the veritable field of tea towels they’ve laid out over the counter. “She just makes the curry <em>super spicy</em> because she has no idea what it’s supposed to taste like. She does other foods normal though!”</p>
<p>Her eyebrow twitches and she has to fight to stop herself from lobbing a mushy apple at Naruto’s treacherous head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>By the time they’re done, the countertops are gleaming, the fridge has been scrubbed clear of contaminating juices, and the sink’s drain no longer sounds like it’s giving out a death rattle every time water goes down it.</p>
<p>The pantry is arranged so Uchiha actually knows where stuff is, and the fresher meat and bread he doesn’t know if he’ll eat in the next week or so has been frozen and put into the freezer.</p>
<p>They have used a grand total of seventeen bin bags to throw away all the wasted food.</p>
<p>In one of the now-gleaming pots, there’s enough minestrone soup for one person gently bubbling away. All Uchiha has to do is let it simmer until the pasta is cooked through and then he can eat it. And wash everything up. She’s very adamant about him washing up properly.</p>
<p>She now has a bag stuffed full of food that Uchiha turned his nose up at on her shoulder.</p>
<p>The sun is beginning it’s slow descent out of the sky. They need to get going if they want to even have a quick dinner together.</p>
<p>“Wait. You two <em>live</em> together?” Uchiha asks, incredulous.</p>
<p>“No. I have to live in my apartment in the village.” Naruto says, looking crestfallen. “An’ I can only eat with Mayu-chan and Mayu-chan’s Okaa-san and Otou-san if I make it there and back before the sun sets.”</p>
<p>She smiles sadly at him, reaching out to squeeze his hand—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If I leave, the Uchiha clan lands are forfeit.”</p>
<p>They turn back to Uchiha Sasuke, who’s begun looking like he really, <em>really</em> wishes he hadn’t said anything.</p>
<p>He huffs. “If I leave this place, the council will take it as a declaration of the Uchiha clan forfeiting their right to this land, since there wouldn’t be any living here anymore. The land will be reclaimed by the village, and—and—”</p>
<p><em>Clans are required to do things certain ways or risk dissolution.</em> She sighs. “There is so much wrong with...<em>that</em>, but okay. We can start working on that next. Thank you for explaining.”</p>
<p>He nods stiffly, and walks them to the gate of the compound.</p>
<p>“I don’t get it,” Naruto says as they walk down her street, sun hot on their necks. “Even if the village does claim the lands, wouldn’t it be better to not live with...that?”</p>
<p>She shrugs the bag higher on her shoulder. “If he does, the village might tear down the old compound buildings to make new ones. And even if it is the site of an awful tragedy, he may still think of that place as ‘home’. If you’d lost everything else, would you wanna lose that too?”</p>
<p>Naruto shakes his head and bites his lip.</p>
<p>She gently bumps his shoulder with her own and they arrive home in pensive silence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She makes sure to bring her (now dogeared and slightly stained) easy recipes cookbook with her to the Academy, alongside extra servings of eggplant tempura, to loan to Uchiha Sasuke.</p>
<p>He doesn’t <em>quite</em> throw a tantrum.</p>
<p>But it’s pretty close.</p>
<p>“I. Don’t. <em>Want</em>. It.” He grits out, glaring at her.</p>
<p>She bites into an onigiri she’s traded from Shino. There’s half a hard boiled egg inside as filling, and it’s supplying her with absent-minded ideas for recipes based off of food from her past life.</p>
<p>“Look, we’ve got your food down to manageable levels, but that means nothing if you can’t do anything with it.” She taps the book’s cover. “This is the first cookbook I ever owned. It’s what I used to use to make stuff for Naruto when we met.”</p>
<p>Naruto perks up a little at the other end of the table, craning to see it’s cover, so she holds it up for him. “It’s pretty easy to follow, and there are some more complex recipes in the back if you want a challenge—”</p>
<p>“I’m not wasting my time with <em>cooking</em>.” Uchiha hisses, nose wrinkling in distaste. “I need to focus on getting stronger. Only <em>civilians</em> care about useless things like <em>that</em>.”</p>
<p>She’s about to give him a good kick in the shins and see how he feels about civilians <em>then</em>, when Chouji abruptly stands up next to her.</p>
<p>“Wanna say that again, Uchiha-san?” He says, his tone low and surprisingly steely.</p>
<p>Shikamaru lifts his head off the table and sits up straight for once to give him a death glare, while Ino scoots her chair away from “Sasuke-kun” and crosses her arms, frowning at him imperiously.</p>
<p>Uchiha’s eyes dart between each one of the three, and he looks away, taking a bite out of one of the tempura she’s snuck into his lunchbox. “Hn.”</p>
<p>She blinks, trying to digest this new information about there being stellar cooks who also are apparently ninja while Chouji just sighs, settling back down in his seat and returning to his sandwich.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course, once he feels slighted, Uchiha can never leave well enough alone.</p>
<p>“It can’t even be that good.” He grumbles, pretending he doesn’t hear Kiba’s snickering. “If it was where soup you made came from. <em>That</em> was disgusting.”</p>
<p>She hears Hinata breathe a soft little “oh dear,” over the rush of blood in her ears.</p>
<p>“I see. What was wrong with it?” She asks.</p>
<p>The Uchiha puffs up a bit, oblivious to Shino shaking his head behind him. “<em>Everything</em>. I couldn’t even eat it, so I threw it out.”</p>
<p>There’s a soft slap as Shikamaru covers his eyes, muttering “Troublesome.”</p>
<p>“Alright. Well, since this is the first time, I’ll be sure to take your complaints into account.” She says, smiling.</p>
<p>She grabs his shirt collar and drags him up over the table to meet her gaze. “Because the next time you <em>waste food</em>, Sasuke-kun, I’m going to rip out your baby teeth, boil them down into a bone broth, and feed that to you instead. Are we clear?”</p>
<p>The Uchiha goes pale.</p>
<p>“Easy Mayu-chan, I think the jerk’s just lying to make you mad.” Naruto says, leaning over and gently attempting to pry her fingers off of the shirt collar. “C’mon, jerk, Mayu-chan doesn’t mean it—”</p>
<p>“Yes I do.” She adds.</p>
<p>“—<em>No you don’t</em>, stop making this worse!!” He yells, finally separating her from Uchiha. “I get you’re upset, and he shouldn’ta hurt your feelin’s, but you can’t just make bits of him into <em>ingredients</em> over stuff like this! Even Sanji wouldn’t do that, would he?”</p>
<p>“...Sorry, Naruto.” She replies hesitantly, feeling a bit abashed.</p>
<p>He gives her a disapproving look that is a stunning replica of her mother’s. “<em>I’m</em> not who you should be apologizin’ to, am I?”</p>
<p>She shoots a poisonous look at the offending party. “...Sorry Uchiha.” She says grudgingly.</p>
<p>He just huffs, storming off to the other side of the classroom where his fangirls coo over him and glare nastily at her.</p>
<p>But her cookbook has vanished along with him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day he comes back and throws her recipe book at her face.</p>
<p>She has just enough time to catch it before it clocks her in the nose before he begins boasting in that quiet, insinuating way of his about how he’ll surely surpass her as he waves around a newer, updated copy of the same book.</p>
<p>She asks if that’s supposed to be a challenge, mind turning over the possibilities of recipes Uchiha will willingly cook and eat, mentally marking down the pages.</p>
<p>He haughtily snorts, but doesn’t deny it.</p>
<p>Sakura then shoots up, one hand in the air, saying she’ll be the judge. When Sasuke snorts and says she’ll be biased because she’s civilian, her lips purse and she grabs Chouji’s arm, proclaiming him to be her “co-judge”.</p>
<p>Chouji just shrugs and says he doesn’t mind getting more food.</p>
<p>So then of course, Ino invites herself and Shikamaru along as “moral support”, though why the judges need it is a little beyond her.</p>
<p>Naruto and Lee come with her, obviously, so Kiba and Hinata also show up that weekend with a reluctant Shino in tow.</p>
<p>Shikamaru’s beginning to teach him how to play shogi, and she’s experimenting with different concentrations of sugar water and fruit juice to see what his insects enjoy best, so she hopes he’s not too put out by spending time with them.</p>
<p>Akamaru is still a very good boy, and is perfectly happy with bits of meat and a rawhide bone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They work out pretty quickly that Naruto can’t really be around for the cooking contests.</p>
<p>This is because Uchiha will, without fail, work out <em>something</em> to argue about with him, and then they’ll have to take it out on each other in the training ground, and by the time they’re finished it’s always too late to actually begin cooking.</p>
<p>So the weekends when Naruto is required to visit the Hokage become cooking contest weekends, while the ones where he comes become sparring weekends.</p>
<p>They don’t all always show up—Ino’s parents have a flower shop they want her to help out at, and her and Chouji and Shikamaru’s parents are all best friends so sometimes they have to go to parties. Shino, Hinata and Kiba often will have clan duties that mean they can’t come.</p>
<p>Sometimes she and Naruto or Sakura can’t come just because they’re spending some time with their parents.</p>
<p>But there’s always someone there on any given weekend, as the leaves on the trees change colors and fall off. And it works. Uchiha’s house is beginning to feel less like a mausoleum and more like somewhere <em>lived in </em>again.</p>
<p>She enjoys the chance to stretch her culinary muscles without bankrupting her parents and test her skills against a rival who she will grudgingly admit <em>might</em> be catching up to her.</p>
<p>She’s still more irritated by him than not, but Sanji and the other chefs at the Baratie drove each other up the wall too, so she’s fine with this working relationship.</p>
<p>Comrades don’t need to get along or even share the same goals to be able to work together after all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Naruto’s birthday is always a strange affair.</p>
<p>They aren’t allowed to see him for the entire week, for one thing. He’s always collected by masks on the Sunday before and doesn’t return to his apartment until the next Monday.</p>
<p>The first time it happened, she freaked out badly enough that her father accompanied her to the Tower and they sat in a little waiting room outside the Hokage’s office for four hours, not meeting the glares that all the busy, ant-like people sent them.</p>
<p>Hokage-sama had taken their visit in good humor, even as he told them he <em>couldn’t</em> tell them where Naruto was, for the boy’s safety. He’d patted her head and told her not to worry, that Naruto would be back soon.</p>
<p>Of course, she’d worried enough that she ended up sitting outside of Naruto’s apartment for most of the week, watching the village’s festival below and knocking on the door intermittently, occasionally munching on bits and pieces from food stalls that her parents brought for her.</p>
<p>When she’d finally knocked on the door and Naruto had answered, she’d tackled him to the floor in a hug.</p>
<p>There may have been tears. She really couldn’t say.</p>
<p>Neither could Naruto, no matter what he likes to insinuate about “photographic evidence”.</p>
<p>So they’ve developed a tradition of celebrating Naruto’s birthday the weekend after the week it actually happens.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>His birthday dinner is held at Ichiraku’s, like there’s any other option.</p>
<p>He gets his first five bowls of ramen free, and the rest heavily discounted. Teuchi-sama and Ayame-sama ladle extra toppings into each bowl, with a grinning “Happy Birthday, Naruto!”</p>
<p>Unlike last year, he’s got <em>two</em> birthday cakes this time, because Uchiha turns even gift-giving into a competition. He’s made an extremely bitter coffee cake with dark chocolate fondant and decorated with sour cherries forming an Uzumaki spiral. Naruto manfully eats two entire slices before passing it off to the adults, who derive much more enjoyment from it.</p>
<p>He likes the lighter vanilla sponge with orange buttercream and a white chocolate narutomaki which Chouji made much more. Chouji subtly lords this over Sasuke for the rest of the night.</p>
<p>Hinata stutters out a “Ha-ha-happy B-bi-bi—” before dropping an intricate box filled with shuriken and a whetstone on the counter and fleeing.</p>
<p>She lasted ten minutes longer this year.</p>
<p>Kiba gives Naruto kunai, as does Ino, which leads to an argument about the quality of their preferred suppliers. Sakura gives him a book on the language of flowers, while Shikamaru gives him a book on the plants of Uzushio and a calligraphy set.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gai and Lee give him a piggy-bank in the shape of a smiling frog on a lilypad.</p>
<p>It’s really cute, and Naruto instantly declares it to be Gama-chan’s “big sister”, Kaeru-chan.</p>
<p>Her parents have bought him a selection of orange hoodies, some sleeveless and some not, all with the Uzumaki spiral hand-embroidered on the back by Okaa-sama. She also added little ninja frogs with teeny shuriken and kunai and katana in all of the hoods.</p>
<p>She’s a bit worried about her present by now, because it seems silly by comparison. Never mind that she had to search high and low all throughout Konoha and eventually ended up giving all her money to a merchant from Takigakure for this.</p>
<p>She hands him a (rather ratty) plush of a grey pelican with an offensively yellow bill. Her embroidery skill is nowhere near her mother’s level, so the red Uzumaki spiral she attempted to stitch onto its breast in place of the customary tomoe is crooked.</p>
<p>Naruto stares at it for a really long time.</p>
<p>The adults are very, very quiet.</p>
<p>“Well,” She hazards. “Hokage-sama <em>did</em> say everything we give him needs his symbol on it?”</p>
<p>Then Naruto begins laughing and hugging her tightly, proclaiming that it’s name is now Peri-chan, and the adults begin talking again, acting like nothing interesting has happened.</p>
<p>So she hugs Naruto back as hard as she can, Peri-chan squished between them.</p>
<p>It’d be nice if this could last.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She should know by now that a running theme in her new life is that it doesn’t</p>
<p>The weather’s finally warmed up again. The cherry blossoms suffered because of the continued cold snap this year, and Ino’s family flower shop is struggling to keep a lot of their stock alive.</p>
<p>She knows this because Ino <em>will not</em> <em>stop</em> complaining about it.</p>
<p>They’re in the first class of the day and the teacher is lecturing about chakra, teaching them the difference between genjutsu and ninjutsu. She’s thinking that both sound horrifying in their own ways— subverting the laws of nature to attack an opponent, or invading their brain to do so.</p>
<p>A sound pierces the air.</p>
<p>It’s not a siren wailing—not quite. It’s high and fluted, too close to birdsong for that.</p>
<p>But it has a similar urgency. The teacher’s head snaps up the moment he hears it, and his face goes pale.</p>
<p>“Everybody follow me.” He snaps. “Single-file line, hold hands now. Anyone trying to mess around or run off will be automatically <em>expelled</em> from the Academy, do you understand?!”</p>
<p>There’s a bit of confused muttering, and a couple of lamentations from Kiba when it transpires he has to hold Shino’s hand <em>again</em>, but them teacher shoots them a wild-eyed, barely restrained look.</p>
<p>That shuts them all up.</p>
<p>They walk out into the hall, where several other lines of children, older and younger than them, are assembled into similar formations and following other teachers out of the building.</p>
<p>She catches a brief glimpse of Lee, holding hands with a girl with her hair in buns, before the crowd of children moves and swallows him up once more.</p>
<p>“What’s going on?” Naruto mutters behind her.</p>
<p>She shrugs helplessly, shaking her head at him.</p>
<p>In front of her, Chouji shifts nervously, clutching her hand tighter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’re lead out of the Academy and up to the not-Mount Rushmore.</p>
<p>They’ve been learning that these are the past and current leaders of the village. Their huge faces seem to frown down on them as they approach.</p>
<p>They take little trails up the side of the cliff face, so thin and crumbling that their single-file procession is the only way to avoid plummeting to a painful end.</p>
<p>“Look!!” Someone—she doesn’t recognize who—yelps from several children in front of them in line, a pale arm appearing seemingly out of the throng to point.</p>
<p>They stutter to a halt, as people’s heads crane round to follow the pointing finger and they stop moving to see what all the fuss is about.</p>
<p>They’re a lot higher than the village, at this point on the trail. So it’s easy to see numerous shapes—dressed in dark clothes and white masks, or in green jackets like Gai-sensei’s—moving with a single minded focus through streets and over roofs towards one building.</p>
<p>The Hokage Tower.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s a low, percussive <em>BOOM</em>.</p>
<p>Fierce wind pushes the children flat against the mountainside as dust and debris rolls through the streets below.</p>
<p>The side of the Tower closest to them now has a gaping hole.</p>
<p>“MOVE, all of you!!” The teacher from their first year screams.</p>
<p>Someone’s crying as they all begin shuffling forward again at a faster pace, an intense wail that almost drowns out the harried whispers of “What <em>was</em> that—” and “This <em>can’t</em> be happening—” and—</p>
<p>Naruto’s foot <em>slips</em>.</p>
<p>He shrieks as gravity pulls him down. She hears a scream as she tightens her grip on his hand and <em>yanks</em> as hard as she can, inadvertently using Chouji as an anchor.</p>
<p>To his credit, he plants his feet and holds onto her as tight as he can to stop her from going off the edge after him.</p>
<p>Shino, holding Naruto’s other hand, also strains to keep him from plummeting, a mass of insects swarming out of his sleeves and pushing at the boy’s chest until he’s leaning against the cliff face, sweaty and panting.</p>
<p>They shuffle along a lot more carefully after that, until they arrive at the entrance to a series of tunnels.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Naruto suddenly makes an urgent little noise behind her. She turns back to look.</p>
<p>There’s a person.</p>
<p>They’re perched on a roof not too far away, face turned up towards the little mountainside procession.</p>
<p>They could be a boy or a girl, long blond hair whipping in the wind. They seem...small. Maybe about Ino or Shikamaru’s size?</p>
<p>Their clothes seem strangely bulky for the mild weather and help to hide their sex. There’s a dark mask over the bottom of their face, concealing it from view.</p>
<p>Their eyes, however, are clearly fixed on Naruto.</p>
<p>She clenches his hand tighter, tries to pull him behind her so the stranger won’t have a clear shot at him. Shino’s insects buzz in warning. Kiba bares his teeth as he and Akamaru let out twin growls. Chouji begins yelling for a teacher.</p>
<p>The masked person tilts their head, considering.</p>
<p>Then they vanish in a swirl of white she thinks might be snow.</p>
<p>Several masks materialize around the place where the person was, before disappearing themselves in flurries of leaves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The teacher from their first year grabs Naruto and Chouji’s shoulders and <em>shoves</em> them behind her.</p>
<p>She does the same thing to her and Shino, pushing them all deeper into the tunnels as she strides back to the entrance, a kunai clenched in her teeth.</p>
<p>She thinks she might’ve respected Taki-sensei more while she taught them if the teacher was nicer to Naruto, if she didn’t have such an obsession with Usagi-hime (the tyrant), <em>and</em> if she had known that the woman could do a stellar impression of Zoro-on-the-Warpath.</p>
<p>They’re swept along in the throng of crying, shouting, scared children.</p>
<p>Chouji’s muttering what happened to Shikamaru, who’s growing paler by the second. Kiba’s growling epithets and empty threats behind them, punctuated by Akamaru’s high-pitched barks, while Shino remains worryingly silent.</p>
<p>Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Uchiha are too far ahead for her to be able to see them, to know if they’re alright.</p>
<p>She can’t see Lee anywhere in the crowd around them either, and an irrational cold sweat breaks out on her brow.</p>
<p>Naruto’s hand trembles slightly in her grip. She squeezes it, gently.</p>
<p>They walk for what feels like miles, before the tunnels finally widen out into a cave.</p>
<p>From there they’re told by the teacher (their current one) and the nice man with the scar to sit quietly with their class as the teachers call role to see if anyone’s missing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Much like the fire drills of her past life, it devolves into chaos pretty quickly.</p>
<p>Lee manages to sneak away to join their lunch time group in a corner.</p>
<p>He greets the others with his usual exuberance and takes her sudden, frantic hug with aplomb. Then he promptly sets about telling Sakura how lovely she looks today.</p>
<p>They all relax a little bit at that, even Sakura who’s desperately trying to hide how unused she is to the praise by changing the topic to <em>anything else</em>.</p>
<p>The knowing looks Ino keeps giving her and Lee only serve to exacerbate the pink-haired girl’s efforts.</p>
<p>She startles suddenly. “Oh <em>shit</em>.”</p>
<p>“Huh? Mayu-chan, what’s wrong?” Sakura asks, nervous.</p>
<p>“This is bad, this is bad, this is so, so bad—” She repeats, running her hands through her hair, nearly knocking her silver hairclips loose. Luffy save her, this is a <em>nightmare</em> on top of everything else. They couldn’t go on like this. How could she be so stupid?</p>
<p>“What is it?!” Shikamaru demands, eyes tight and focused.</p>
<p>“I forgot our lunches back in the classroom.” She rasps.</p>
<p>For some reason, instead of reacting with the appropriate horror, everyone else just groans.</p>
<p>“Mayu, it is <em>ten in the morning.</em>” Ino says. “Lunch isn’t for another <em>two hours.</em>”</p>
<p>“We might be here for longer! You don’t know!” She argues, cheeks flushing hot. “I don’t want you guys getting hungry!”</p>
<p>“Why are women so troublesome?” Shikamaru grumbles, flopping back to stare at the ceiling.</p>
<p>She pouts, Hinata’s hand on her knee the only thing stopping her from booting Shikamaru in the side, and leans into Naruto’s side to grouse about ungrateful friends, not appreciating all the worry she goes through on their behalf.</p>
<p>He pats her head consolingly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s drawn out of her sulk by Sakura’s worried. “...Sasuke-kun?”</p>
<p>When she looks up at the boy in question, he’s white as a sheet, hands digging red lines where they grasp his knees, eyes bulging and staring at nothing, breath coming in shorter and shorter gasps.</p>
<p>Shit.</p>
<p>“I believe Uchiha is having a panic attack.” Shino says. “Why? Because he is unresponsive to the stimuli provided by my kikaichū and his pulse is elevated to fight-or-flight levels.”</p>
<p>“What’s a panic attack?” Naruto asks, eyes fixed on Uchiha’s shaking form.</p>
<p>“Something reminded him of something scary,” She says, hoping she’s not mangling the description as horribly as Ino’s face is suggesting she is. “Now he’s having trouble staying in the here and now.”</p>
<p>Uchiha begins muttering something, too low to hear.</p>
<p>Kiba tilts his head. “Why’s he saying ‘it’s him, he’s back’ over and over?”</p>
<p>Shikamaru’s eyes widen. “The massacre. <em>Shit</em>.”</p>
<p>Lee’s about to whip around, like he expects to find the murderer of the Uchiha behind him, when Ino grabs his arm.</p>
<p>“<em>Don’t</em>.” She orders. “No sudden movements or raised voices. Daddy says that freaks them out more. Just be <em>calm</em> and <em>quiet</em>. Can you do that?”</p>
<p>Lee nods silently, and Ino gradually releases her grip on his arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uchiha-san.” Hinata asks. “Can you hear me?”</p>
<p>No response.</p>
<p>Then—a quick jerk of the head.</p>
<p>“I was wondering if you could tell me how you made that cake. For U-Uzumaki-kun’s birthday last year? The one all the adults liked?”</p>
<p>There’s a silence.</p>
<p>“...Whisked sugar and butter.” He croaks. “Didn’t use as much sugar as Akimichi wanted. Still was fluffy. Added eggs and a bit of flour slowly. Can’t use all the flour until after. Fold it in with baking powder. And coffee bits. Lots of coffee bits. Half the tin.”</p>
<p>“That’s dumb.” She says in her most soothing voice. “You’re only supposed to do one tablespoon.”</p>
<p>He actually lifts his head and glares at her. “No it’s not.” He argues. “It’s too sweet otherwise.”</p>
<p>She’s about to argue that it’s <em>cake</em>, that’s the entire <em>point</em> when Sakura cuts in. “Yeah.” She says. “Your cake just had a more...mature taste than what Mayu-chan’s used to.”</p>
<p>She narrows her eyes at Sakura, contemplating elbowing her. Her tastebuds are fine, she just doesn’t destroy them with bitterness and acidity.</p>
<p>But Uchiha’s snorting in amusement and his trembling’s slowed down a lot, his breathing gradually returning to normal.</p>
<p>They keep talking quietly like that about cakes and the various ways Uchiha was planning on butchering perfectly good recipes, and the potential of making safe doggy-cakes for Akamaru, until the teachers tell them the coast is clear.</p>
<p>The sun is long past the noon mark by the time they make it back to the classroom.</p>
<p>She was right about them going hungry, because everyone falls upon their lunchboxes with the ferocity of wild beasts or a hungry Luffy before the teacher sends them all home for the day.</p>
<p>Sasuke somehow leaves before anyone can notice and offer to walk back with him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Okaa-sama is waiting outside the gate to greet her, Naruto and Lee.</p>
<p>Her teahouse uniform is covered in brownish dust, which her mother appears heedless of as she hugs each of them individually, and then gives them all one big hug.</p>
<p>Nobody knows what happened, or why a bit of Hokage Tower exploded yet. Apparently there was a huge genjutsu cast that made everyone in the surrounding area, even the masks, fall asleep after that, so the culprits got away for now.</p>
<p>Okaa-sama reassures them that the Hokage will surely have his best hunter-nin on the case, and they’ll be caught and brought to justice soon.</p>
<p>She goes a bit green when Naruto describes almost falling, and then seeing the mysterious person who was likely one of the perpetrators staring at him, squeezing his hand tightly as they walk.</p>
<p>There are lots of people walking home now. Even shopkeepers are closing up early and returning home to their families.</p>
<p>She wonders when Otou-sama’s coming home while she washes up the lunchboxes with Lee and Naruto. Surely his job would’ve let him go home by now?</p>
<p>Nobody says anything, but his absence becomes palpable as dinner draws closer. Okaa-sama makes them wait half an hour past when the food should be served, watching out the window anxiously.</p>
<p>Eventually they have to eat or Naruto won’t get home by curfew. They leave aside a plate warming in the oven.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Okaa-sama has begun gnawing at her bottom lip when a knock at the door finally comes.</p>
<p>Everyone exchanges glances, before her mother rises and goes to answer it.</p>
<p>It’s not Otou-sama.</p>
<p>It’s a mask.</p>
<p>“I am here to collect Uzumaki.” The mask says. At least it’s not the one that hurt her.</p>
<p>“I understand,” Her mother replies. “Naruto-kun!”</p>
<p>Naruto stands from where they’ve been peeking around the doorframe. Lee follows him.</p>
<p>“If it is alright, ANBU-san, I would like to walk home with Naruto-kun!” He says. “I wish to ensure he returns home safely before going back to the Orphanage.”</p>
<p>The mask tilts his head. “This is permissible. Come.”</p>
<p>“Wait.” Naruto says, stopping before the threshold. “Where’s Mayu-chan’s Otou-san? He’s <em>never</em> this late. He even <em>missed dinner</em>.”</p>
<p>“That is not relevant.” The mask says, trying to grab Naruto’s arm. “Come.”</p>
<p>“No!” Naruto ducks back into the house, hiding behind Okaa-sama’s legs. “I wanna know where Mayu’s Otou-san is! I’m not going until I know!”</p>
<p>Okaa-sama shrugs helplessly but makes no move to pull Naruto out from behind her. “Please sir, we’re all just worried about my husband. If we could have some word of his whereabouts—even if he’s in hospital—?”</p>
<p>The mask goes very still.</p>
<p>“Ketsugi Jirou is currently being held in custody of Konoha’s Interrogation department. He will be released once he cooperates with questioning regarding today’s incident.”</p>
<p>Then he rips Naruto away from Okaa-sama, grabs Lee, and vanishes in a whirl of leaves.</p>
<p>And all she can do is watch as her mother slowly sinks to the floor.</p>
<p>She begins crying in the still-open doorway.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It takes her a long time to get Okaa-sama back inside.</p><p>There’s masks watching from the trees as she closes the door, and she can spot more through all the windows, glimpses of white against dark leaves.</p><p>She closes the door and locks it.</p><p>Then she draws the blinds on all of the windows, as though that will act as a barrier somehow.</p><p>Her mother is still weeping softly downstairs.</p><p>She slides down a wall, trying to choke back sobs herself. She can’t do this. Not now. She needs to think, to plan, not—not <em>cry</em> like a helpless little eight year old.</p><p>She is mentally twenty, she needs to <em>act like it</em>.</p><p>She pinches her arms, hard, until the tears in her eyes are from the pain instead.</p><p><em>Think</em>, Ketsugi. How can you convince the authorities of Otou-sama’s innocence without getting yourself and Okaa-sama locked up as well?</p><p> </p><p>The easiest way would be to catch the real culprit.</p><p>But she has no idea what actually happened yet, let alone who could’ve done it. If she tries to start snooping around the crime scene for clues, she’ll probably be caught and imprisoned for suspicious behavior. And then Okaa-sama would be all alone, so that’s out.</p><p>She could go on strike.</p><p>Not a hunger one, but she could sit outside the Hokage’s office with a cardboard sign? Naruto, Lee, Chouji and Sakura would sit with her, she’s sure. Maybe even all of their lunchtime group.</p><p>And then the masks will take them, like they’d taken Naruto and Lee, all of her friends vanishing in swirls of leaves, <em>never to be seen again</em>—</p><p>She has to bite down on her knee, teeth digging into the flesh awkwardly, to keep herself from screaming.</p><p>She briefly entertains a fantasy of going around and beating masks up until they tell her where Otou-sama is, and then staging a dramatic rescue complete with a dynamic entry and exit.</p><p>No, she decides, swallowing the metallic taste in her mouth. She’s nowhere near strong enough for that, no matter how much she’s improved under Gai-sensei’s and her father’s training. The masks would just hurt her again.</p><p>So if she can’t find the true culprit, or peacefully protest his imprisonment, or rescue Otou-sama by force, what <em>can</em> she do?</p><p> </p><p>She gnaws at her lower lip.</p><p>...There really isn’t anything, is there?</p><p>Everything she can think of would end up with them imprisoned as well, or worse. Konoha’s not like her last life, with laws and foundations and charities against illegal incarceration. They don’t even have a police force anymore, since all the Uchiha <em>were</em> the police and all the Uchiha are dead.</p><p>Things like bail or lawyers or civil rights are probably about as substantial as a pipe dream here.</p><p>That must be why Okaa-sama’s crying so much.</p><p>Because she knows that the people who took Otou-sama have all the power here, and anything they try to do to get him back could mean he’s forced to stay captive for longer instead, to punish them for disobedience.</p><p>All they can do is keep their heads down and try not to show any aggression or resentment and hope obedience translates into loyalty and innocence in the eyes of the right people.</p><p>They’re just immigrants after all. They have no power in a village that doesn’t want them here.</p><p> </p><p>She troops downstairs, knee stinging with the movement.</p><p>She takes the portion on the plate out of the oven, and switches the oven off. She gently puts it onto a smaller plate and covers it in foil, waiting for it to cool before she puts it into the fridge. She washes off the big plate and puts it back in the cupboard where it lives.</p><p>She <em>does not</em> consider giving the meal to someone else or eating it herself. Otou-sama <em>is</em> coming back. It’ll...just take him a little while, that’s all.</p><p>She goes back upstairs and brushes her teeth and puts on her little nightie.</p><p>By the time she comes back down, the food’s cooled enough to safely be put in the fridge.</p><p>She lingers in the doorway of the living room. “Okaa-sama?”</p><p>Her mother lifts her head from her arms. Her eyes are swollen and red, and her thick brown hair is disheveled. “Hm?”</p><p>“Can I sleep with you in the big bed tonight?” She asks, ears burning, painfully aware that she hasn’t done so since she was two and would wake up screaming from dreams about her old family and best friend and robbers with itchy trigger fingers.</p><p>“Oh sweetheart.” Her mother murmurs. “Of course. Just let Okaa-san get ready for bed, alright?”</p><p>“Okay.” She says. She goes back upstairs.</p><p>She sits and rubs spit into the little teethmarks on her knee, so the sluggishly bleedingpunctures will scab over and she won’t get blood on her parents’ sheets.</p><p>They’ve stopped bleeding and she’s crawled under the covers and dozing by the time Okaa-sama finally comes upstairs and begins washing up for bed.</p><p>Her mother hugs her close in bed, her hair dampening under the onslaught of silent weeping.</p><p><em>Hey Franky, Usopp, Sanji and Luffy.</em> She prays silently. <em>I know this is a lot to ask, but please, please, please. Let Otou-sama come home safe. Me and Okaa-sama can’t do anything, so please. Help us by doing what we can’t.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Psst!”</p><p>She rolls over in bed, eyes feeling too heavy to open.</p><p>“Psst! Little girl! What was it...Ketsugi Mayu-san!”</p><p>She wrinkles her nose, blinking and rubbing the sleep out of one eye.</p><p>There’s a turtle on her pillow. It’s little, and green with yellow swirls on it’s shell.</p><p>But still. Turtle.</p><p>“Y’r a t’rtle.” She slurs.</p><p>The turtle looks very indignant (can turtles do that?) and straightens its head. “<em>I</em>.” It whispers, in a very self-important tone. “Am a <em>tortoise</em>.”</p><p>“Y’r a t’rt’se.” She corrects agreeably. Then pauses. “Didj’ou jus’ talk?”</p><p>“Yes I did. Honestly girl, haven’t you ever seen a summons before?” The tortoise complains.</p><p>“Whassa summons?” She asks, rubbing her other eye.</p><p>The tortoise mutters something that sounds a little unkind about civilian families. “You can call this one Jimichi. I have come from Gai-sama, bearing a message for Ketsugi Mayu-san.”</p><p>Okaa-sama shifts restlessly behind her.</p><p>She looks behind her at her mother, and then back to the tortoise. “May I pick you up, Jimichi-san?”</p><p>Jimichi-san looks like he’s about to protest when Okaa-sama lets out a soft little sob in her sleep. “Ooh—alright then, just this once, mind!”</p><p> </p><p>She carries the tortoise into her bedroom and sets him down on her bed, kneeling in front of him.</p><p>“Are you hungry, Jimichi-san? Would you like some water or anything?”</p><p>The tortoise looks considering, before shaking his little wrinkly head. “No, thank you. I will be fine, so long as I complete my mission.”</p><p>She sits back on her heels to listen, trying to ignore the little pinpricks of pain in her knee.</p><p>“Gai-sama wishes to tell you he will be out of the village for the next week or so—he is currently in pursuit of the thieves who broke into Hokage Tower earlier today. He conveys his regards to Ketsugi Jirou and Chie, and expects you to keep up your most youthful training with Uzumaki Naruto-kun and Rock Lee-kun.” The tortoise took a breath.</p><p>“Are Naruto and Lee alright, Jimichi-san?” She bursts out, hardly able to control herself.</p><p>The tortoise shoots her a withering look. “How should I know? Yūcho and Katsu were sent to talk to them, not me.”</p><p>“Oh. I’m sorry. I-I just haven’t seen them since the mask took them away a-aft-after—” She swallows, and makes herself continue even if her voice sounds small. “—After he said my father was being held in Interrogation.”</p><p>There’s a quiet inhale.</p><p>“Has your father been doing anything that <em>warrants</em> this suspicion?” Jimichi-san asks.</p><p>She frowns. “Of course not. If he were going to do it, Otou-sama would’ve talked it over Okaa-sama and come up with a plan to get her and me and Naruto out if he got caught—he loves her too much not to. And both of them are too much in love with Gai-sensei to hurt the village he loves like this.”</p><p>“<em>What</em>.” Jimichi-san squeaks.</p><p>There’s a soft <em>snap</em> from the tree in next door’s garden. Maybe a stray cat?</p><p>“I know.” She whispers, barely stifling giggles. “It’s so <em>embarrassing</em>—at breakfast t-they always pine over hi-his e-eve-every w-wo—”</p><p>Ah. She’s crying. She rubs furiously at her face, but it’s not stopping, why won’t it stop—</p><p>“Oh—<em>blow</em>.” Jimichi-san sighs. “...if I find out what happened to Uzumaki Naruto and Rock Lee, will you stop making this racket?”</p><p>She sniffs miserably. “‘M sorry.”</p><p>He gives a disdainful huff before retracting into his shell.</p><p>There’s two puffs of smoke, and then there’s a yellow tortoise with blue swirls on its shell and a purple one with red swirls on her bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Jimi, dude, what gives?” The yellow one says.</p><p>“I am not your ‘dude’, Yūcho!” Jimichi-san hisses. “My name is Jimichi! And keep your voice <em>down</em>, you numbskull!”</p><p>“Awright, <em>awright</em>, don’t get’cha panties in a twist, jeez.” Yūcho-san says without lowering his voice very much at all. “‘Sup little dude?”</p><p>“Hello.” She replies, biting her lower lip to keep from laughing. <em>Don’t think about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, don’t think about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, don’t—</em></p><p>“U-um.” The purple one whispers. “Why are we here, Jimichi-san? Was there a problem with delivering your message?”</p><p>“Wh-of course there wasn’t!” Jimichi-san blusters. “My message was delivered with all due promptness and clarity, wasn’t it, Ketsugi-san?”</p><p>“Yes Jimichi-san.” She nods. “I’m Ketsugi Mayu. It’s nice to meet you, Yūcho-san, Katsu-san.”</p><p>The purple one—Katsu-san— startles a little. “Eh, nice to meet you too. Um.”</p><p>“Oh fuck.” Yūcho-san stares at her. “You’re the one who’s dad is de—”</p><p>Jimichi-san somehow rockets himself across her duvet to slam into Yūcho-san and send him spinning like a top. “Don’t you <em>dare</em> use those words in front of a little girl, you idiot!!”</p><p>She gapes as Yūcho-san gradually slows and begins groaning complaints, not quite sure what to do or how to stop it if this somehow turns into a tortoise-brawl on top of her bed.</p><p>
  <em>Don’t think about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.</em>
</p><p>Jimichi-san stands. “Honestly. Ketsugi-san asked me to call you here because she was worried about Uzumaki Naruto-kun and Rock Lee-kun, and here you are, wasting her time. Now, did you two deliver your messages successfully to your recipients or didn’t you?”</p><p>“Of course I did, dude!” Yūcho-san protests. “Blondie was in his apartment and got the message loud and clear!”</p><p>“Um, I also was able to locate Lee-san at the Orphanage.” Kastu-san volunteers softly. “He was deep in thought, but was not actively distressed.”</p><p>She sighs. Well, she’ll take what she can get. “Thank you for your help, Yūcho-san, Katsu-san, Jimichi-san.” She bows at the waist.</p><p>“Ah, i-it’s no problem.” Katsu-san stutters, while Yūcho-san cheers, “Hey, happy to help!”</p><p>Jimichi-san lets out a little huff. “Well, you just keep your head down and your nose clean, alright? You’ll be no good to anyone if you’re in trouble too. Now run along back to bed, go on.”</p><p>She stands and bows to them again. The three tortoises all vanish in puffs of smoke.</p><p> </p><p>It feels awful, trying to get up at her normal time the next morning.</p><p>She rubs the sleep from her swollen eyes, and tucks the blanket back in around her mother. Okaa-sama hadn’t even stirred during the night. Little furrows still crease her brow in sleep.</p><p>She kisses the crown of her mother’s head, and leaves the house as quietly as she can.</p><p>She keeps her eyes on her shoes and doesn’t look up at where she can feel the masks watching her.</p><p>Naruto hasn’t set up any traps this morning. She knocks on his door, the sound jarring in the quiet of dawn.</p><p>His eyes are bloodshot and red, making the blue look even bluer.</p><p>“I wan’ ‘Tou-san.” He mumbles.</p><p>She reaches out and hugs him tight, pretending she doesn’t feel his shoulders shaking as she strokes his back.</p><p>“I know.” She murmurs. “I want him too.”</p><p> </p><p>Even Lee is subdued compared to his usual exuberance.</p><p>He’s trying his best. He takes both of them by the shoulders and says, “Don’t worry! Gai-sensei will definitely find the culprit soon and free your father from his most unyouthful imprisonment!”</p><p>Naruto’s face crumples even more at that for some reason, so she does her best to smile back at Lee for the both of them. “Yeah. Thanks, Lee.”</p><p>Since Lee’s the oldest and the most like Gai-sensei in temperament, it’s unanimously decided that he will be the one to lead the group’s exercises.</p><p>He’s not as hard a task-master as Gai-sensei, dropping the number of laps they have to do around Konoha by five every time Naruto yawns. They end up doing only one hundred of the original one hundred and fifty.</p><p>They’re running through the basic kata for what will eventually be a Dynamic Entry once their leg muscles are built up enough when it hits her.</p><p>She stops dead.</p><p>Unfortunately, her momentum doesn’t, so she wavers on her toes before her leg buckles and she crashes to the ground.</p><p>“Mayu-chan!”</p><p>“I’m okay!” She unfolds herself and sits up, looking into two pairs of worried eyes. “I’m fine—just remembered something and got distracted is all.”</p><p>“What is it?” Lee asks as Naruto plops down beside her.</p><p>She opens her mouth, and closes it. She looks away, ears and neck burning with embarrassment.</p><p>“I—” Her voice cracks, and she has to swallow. “I...<em>may</em> have forgotten to make us lunch last night?”</p><p> </p><p>Lee decides that the best thing to do is run another lap of Konoha before going back to her house to make lunch together.</p><p>She readily agrees. She doesn’t think she could stand it if she had to work in a silent kitchen. Not today.</p><p>There are more people up and about now.</p><p>It may just be paranoia, but she could <em>swear</em> that many of them were whispering and pointing at her.</p><p>She keeps her eyes down and does her best to ignore this as she ignores the masks.</p><p>The house is still dark when she lets them in. Well, Okaa-sama does need her sleep.</p><p>They decide to make something quick and easy for lunch.</p><p>They have plenty of bacon, and some spring greens left over from yesterday’s miso soup. So while she parboils and shocks the vegetables, Lee stirs the bacon around in the pan, and Naruto puts what may be a little too much honey mustard on slices of bread.</p><p>Okaa-sama comes down sometime during when she’s patting the spring greens dry.</p><p>Her mother won’t stop touching, whether it’s ruffling Lee’s hair, giving her kisses on the cheek, or hugging Naruto.</p><p>Naruto latches onto Okaa-sama like an octopus with his arms and legs. Her mother promptly heaves him up to sit on her hip, showing no sign of strain at carrying around an eight year old boy, and begins to prepare breakfast around them.</p><p>By the time the sandwiches are assembled and put into the lunchboxes with sides of cherry tomatoes and pudding cups for dessert, there’s barely enough time to run through the basic strikes her father was teaching her.</p><p>Lee’s enthusiasm about her training is...well-intentioned if ill-advised.</p><p>“No, I’m not going to hit you with the bokken! It’ll really hurt!” She argues.</p><p>“Do not worry, Mayu-chan! I am sure that I will be able to block adequately so I am not injured!” Lee says cheerfully, giving her a thumbs up.</p><p>“I’m telling you, even blocking this will give you bruises!!” She yells back, exasperated. “Okaa-sama! Tell him!”</p><p>Okaa-sama smiles at them as Naruto giggles weakly, hitching him higher. “I think Mayu-chan is right about this, Lee-kun. Come on in both of you, breakfast is ready.”</p><p> </p><p>The Academy is buzzing with rumors</p><p>Apparently what happened yesterday was a theft—though whether anything got taken or not or if the theft was combined with an attempt on the Hokage’s life is hotly debated.</p><p>The thief—or thieves’—target was apparently a scroll of some kind, which apparently contained some insanely strong, killer jutsu from the Nidaime’s time. Or the secret to eternal life. Or the Shodaime’s ultimate bloodline ability. Or all the money in Konoha’s treasury.</p><p>For some reason everyone pulls a face when one of the civilian kids volunteers the last option.</p><p>There’s also plenty of argument about who the culprits are. A lot of people think it was the Demolition Squad from Iwa, given the huge explosion. Others say it wasn’t flashy enough to be Iwa, that it had to be missing-nin from Suna. Still more say that there’s no way it’d be Suna, that the only people strong enough to get through Konoha’s defenses were the Seven Swordsmen of Kiri.</p><p>One or two say it might’ve been Uchiha Itachi, come back to test his strength against the Hokage, but glares from their lunchtime group quickly shut that up.</p><p>There’s a general consensus that it had to be an inside job though. That the culprits, whoever they were, needed somebody in Konoha to know where their prize was and how to get to it.</p><p>“But we saw that blonde guy yesterday.” Kiba insists. “It’s obvious that was one of the thieves!”</p><p>“That doesn’t discount the possibility of there being someone in Konoha who helped them.” Shikamaru drawls. “After all, how could an outsider who’s never lived here know anything?”</p><p>Something niggles in her brain, but she focuses on eating her sandwich.</p><p> </p><p>Ino sighs. “Daddy’s had to do so much overtime at his work because of this stupid thing.”</p><p>She narrowly avoids flinching, and asks, “What does this have to do with your dad doing overtime at the flower shop?”</p><p>Theres’s a silence.</p><p>“What?” Ino says, confusion written all over her face.</p><p>She shrugs. She doesn’t <em>think</em> she said anything weird...</p><p>“Mayu.” Shikamaru says slowly. “What is it you think Ino’s family does?”</p><p>She takes another bite that tastes like cardboard and carefully thinks over her answer. “...Flower shop ninja?”</p><p>Ino snorts and Hinata begins giggling quietly, while Sakura <em>stares</em> at her. She shifts in her seat.</p><p>“Right.” Shikamaru says, squinting at her. “Okay. And Chouji’s family? Or Kiba’s.”</p><p>Oh, she knows these. “Chef ninja and dog ninja.” She replies confidently.</p><p>Chouji shrugs, nods, and bites into an onigiri while Kiba cheers, pulling Akamaru off his head for cuddles and doggy kisses.</p><p>“My family?” Sasuke cuts in, bags under his eyes. He looks like crap.</p><p>She meets his gaze head on. “Police ninja.” Then she puts the other half of her sandwich and her cherry tomatoes into his lunchbox.</p><p>He looks down at it, grunts, and bites into the sandwich. Then makes a face. “Too much mustard.”</p><p>“Blame Naruto.” She says, grinning at the boy in question’s mildly irritated “Hey!”</p><p>“Mine, Shino’s and Hinata’s families?” Shikamaru asks, head now cradled in his hands.</p><p>She frowns. “Insect ninja...” She points at Shino, who inclines his head, “I have no idea about Hinata...Sleepy ninja?”</p><p>Ino and Kiba promptly crack up. Even Chouji chuckles a bit.</p><p>Shikamaru’s head drops through his hands and thunks on the table. “<em>How</em> have you lived in Konoha your whole life and still know <em>nothing</em>?!”</p><p>“I know some things!” She argues, flushing in embarrassment. “It’s just—knowing what food you like is more important than where you come from, right?”</p><p>There’s a moment of silence as everyone <em>stares</em> at her.</p><p>Then Hinata goes red as Chouji hums next to her, a quiet, happy sound, and Shikamaru mutters “<em>Troublesome</em>,” under his breath as everyone focuses back on eating.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For someone who considers exerting effort on practically everything “troublesome”, Shikamaru doesn’t exactly do the things he <em>does</em> decide to put his energy into by halves.</p><p>Throughout the rest of the week, he and Sakura continually drill her on everyone’s families until she can recite their contributions to the village by heart.</p><p>Naruto and Lee become unwitting participants in this when Sakura enlists them to help with her recitation early on, and subsequently discovers that they barely have any more idea than her what all the fuss is about.</p><p>She now knows that there are apparently four “noble” clans of Konoha—the Akimichi (Chouji), the Aburame (Shino), the Hyuuga (Hinata) and the Uchiha (Uchiha).</p><p>These clans were some of the first to join the village, and became known as “noble” for their clout in battle and their contributions to stabilizing the village’s infrastructure. The Akimichi and Aburame handled food growth and distribution, the Hyuuga helped set up the hospital and health care, and the Uchiha were the police.</p><p>There used to be a fifth “noble” clan, the Senju. They founded the village and served as administrators, but their line died out around the time of the Third Ninja War.</p><p>Other clans, like the Inuzuka (Kiba), the Nara (Shikamaru), and the Yamanaka (Ino), while no less important today than those first five, came a little later once stability had been mostly established.</p><p>The Inuzuka serve as trackers with their ninken while the Nara are tacticians and help fill the administrative gap left by the Senju.</p><p>The Yamanaka are in charge of the Torture and Interrogation department.</p><p> </p><p>She and Naruto freeze up when this fact is revealed.</p><p>“O-oh.” She stutters, trying to tamp down her instinct to lunge across the table and beg Ino for any scraps of information regarding Otou-sama’s health and whereabouts.</p><p>She’s trying to be good, like Okaa-sama and Jimichi-san suggested, but it’s getting harder and harder with each day that passes.</p><p>It starts with children pointing her out to their parents when they were collected from the Academy, the adults quickly hustling their offspring away when they realized she could see them staring.</p><p>Then shops begin refusing to let Okaa-sama buy anything, saying the ryō she had was clearly counterfeit, threatening to have her locked up too if she tried to make a fuss. They have enough food to last them the week between what they’ve got in the pantry and Uchiha’s donations, but not much longer beyond that.</p><p>The dead birds that are left on their doorstep, with sad eyes and plucked grey wings and crushed eggs beside them, are just upsetting. She gives them burials in the back garden before Okaa-sama or Naruto can see them.</p><p>Maybe that’s why Naruto can suck in a quick breath, and ask, “What happens to people in Interrogation? The innocent ones?”</p><p>Ino looks like she wants to laugh—but then her mouth twists, pensive.</p><p>“They get food and water, and a bed.” She says, softly. “Interrogation might need to keep them longer, if they’re really helpful with intel gathering, but they all go home sooner or later.”</p><p>Naruto slumps, breath rushing out of him, and gives Ino a dazed smile. “Right. Good to know.”</p><p>He bites into his soba noodles and she looks back down at her own lunch, pretending she doesn’t feel the same heady rush of relief.</p><p> </p><p>She ignores the little voice in her head that keeps saying Ino only told him what happened to the ones they <em>thought</em> were innocent.</p><p>She walks home with Naruto and Lee, like they’ve been doing all week.</p><p>This way, after they wash up the lunchboxes, they can make tomorrow’s lunch right away together, and she doesn’t have to worry about forgetfulness distracting her during training again.</p><p>Okaa-sama usually comes home by the time they’ve assembled their lunchboxes and put them into the fridge for tomorrow.</p><p>So it’s worrying that that she still hasn’t arrived an hour past her usual return time.</p><p>Lee suggests that she practice using her bokken on them to pass the time, so they can practice dodging and she can practice her strikes.</p><p>She shuts that down quickly by asking if they can do strength training by kneading bread.</p><p>Naruto chooses a recipe for melon bread from her cookbook, because they have a can of pureed melon from Uchiha.</p><p>“Plus it’s weird.” He says. “It’s called ‘melon bread’, but it’s not melon flavored? There should be a better name for it, believe it.”</p><p>Lee tilts his head. “It looks a bit like Katsu-san’s shell, so maybe tortoise bread?”</p><p>“That’s a much better name.” She nods. “I think we might have food coloring somewhere—wanna make it look like them?”</p><p>They chatter as they knead and experiment with color combinations that won’t turn brown when mixed with the melon. The purple of Katsu-san’s shell may be an unattainable dream.</p><p>Naruto complains loudly about “that dumb yellow turtle,” who told him something “mean” about Interrogation that he refused to divulge, no matter how many bowls of ramen he was promised.</p><p>They all do their best to ignore the rising tension in the air as the hours tick on and Okaa-sama still hasn’t come back.</p><p>Then, just as the bread’s ready to come out of the oven, the front door slams open.</p><p> </p><p>“WE HAVE RETURNED!!” Gai-sensei yells.</p><p>Naruto and Lee rush out of the kitchen ahead of her, babbling a million questions a minute.</p><p>It’s probably because she has to shove the latest batch of bread onto a cooling rack and pull off the oven mitts before following them that she catches sight of her mother while Naruto and Lee receive hugs from Gai-sensei.</p><p>Her kimono collar is torn and her hair has been half-ripped out of its work bun and there’s a large blue-black bruise blooming along her left cheekbone.</p><p>Her breathing feels too shallow and blood’s pounding in her ears.</p><p>
  <em>But—how—why—</em>
</p><p>Okaa-sama catches sight of her and her eyes go soft and sad. “Do we have any frozen peas, sweetheart?”</p><p>She nods, numbly, and goes back into the kitchen to the freezer.</p><p>She jumps and nearly elbows Gai-sensei in the stomach when his hand comes down on her shoulder.</p><p>“Mayu-chan.” He kneels down in front of her, brows drawn down over his eyes. “Your mother is alright. Her youthful spirit flows strong even in the face of disapproval of those who should call her a comrade.”</p><p>Her mouth works silently. The peas make a cracking sound as her grip on the bag tightens.</p><p>“Did you catch them?” She asks finally.</p><p>His brow furrows and he shakes his head. “Unfortunately, the unyouthful thieves were able to evade our search. Even my cool and hip rival and the most youthful Inuzuka Tsume were unable to track them. But they will be found and brought to justice, have faith in that.”</p><p>She swallows to making her voice sound less like a croak. “And then Otou-sama will come home again, right?”</p><p>Gai-sensei nods authoritatively, flashing her a thumbs up. “Of course!”</p><p>She thinks that she can maybe hold out a little while longer. She needs to be <em>better</em>, so they don’t hurt Okaa-sama, but that shouldn’t be too hard.</p><p>She tries to tell herself that she won’t <em>let</em> it be as two thirds of her family crowd around the dining table, being as loud and boisterous as they can to try and make up for the empty chair.</p><p> </p><p>Otou-sama doesn’t come back that night either.</p><p>Okaa-sama waits up the whole night, or near enough that there’s hardly a difference.</p><p>She comes down to leave for training with Gai-sensei, and Okaa-sama’s still there, watching the sunrise spill light onto the street in her nightclothes with the now lukewarm bag of peas pressed to her cheek. Her mother startles badly when she touches her elbow gently.</p><p>She can’t keep her mind on her katas, despite all her efforts in the face of Gai-sensei’s encouragement.</p><p>Is Otou-sama alright? How much has he eaten in the past week? Are they hurting him?</p><p>Will he come back at all?</p><p>When this thought crystallizes, she has to duck behind a tree to be violently sick.</p><p>Gai-sensei finds her spitting bile and crying so hard she can’t stop herself. He offers her a packet of tissues to wipe her mouth with and pulls her into a one-armed hug, rubbing her shoulder soothingly.</p><p>It’s almost enough to make her believe everything will be right again when training ends and she goes home.</p><p>Not quite. But almost.</p><p> </p><p>It feels strange.</p><p>She sees her mother’s puffy eyes (Okaa-sama didn’t go to bed like she suggested, even if she knows from one too many all-nighters at Uni that it’d be hellish to try and face today on no sleep), she sees Gai-sensei’s concerned glances between her and her mother, she faintly hears Lee and Naruto’s questions about how Okaa-sama’s feeling and when Otou-sama’s coming back—</p><p>But it’s like there’s a fog. Clouding her brain, making her head hurt. That’s blocking her from really <em>feeling</em>— everything.</p><p>She keeps expecting Otou-sama to open the front door, maybe with a black eye but no worse for wear, laughing about the mixup they had at his work, how it’s all a misunderstanding, how <em>ridiculous</em> it was anyone in a million years could ever suspect <em>him</em>—</p><p>Otou-sama misses breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>Okaa-sama takes her aside before she and Naruto and Lee can go to the Academy for the day.</p><p>“We weren’t—” She purses her lips, twisting tight around the sob in her throat. “We were going to wait until you were ten. But—with your father—”</p><p>Okaa-sama can’t quite choke off that sob. She waits, patiently, until her mother can explain, can press the thing she’s holding into her little hands.</p><p>It’s not a knife or dagger. It’s too long for that, but not by much. It has a pretty sheath, grey decorated in red tomoe, and the blade gleams a cold silvery-blue when she pulls it out carefully.</p><p>“...Across the stomach, right?” She asks. That’s what she heard about hara-kiri from her past life, but she doesn’t want to get this wrong. Not when it’s Ketsugi honor on the line.</p><p>Okaa-sama blinks, drawing away from her, something like horror dawning across her face. “...N-no, sweetheart. Across the stomach is for men. We women do it across the throat. But that is <em>not</em> what this is to be used for. This is for self-defense <em>only</em>, alright? Mayu, <em>promise me.</em>”</p><p>She nods, not quite understanding what she needs defending from. Gai-sensei said there were only comrades in the village. She just needs to be good, and keep her head down, and they’ll stop hurting Okaa-sama and Otou-sama and realize they’re comrades too.</p><p>“Keep Naruto or Lee with you.” Her mother breathes, hugging her close and hard after tying an obi around her dress. It feels like the not-knife sticks out like a sore thumb beneath the bunched fabric. “Your Otou-san will be back soon. And we <em>all</em> need to be there to greet him, understand?”</p><p>“Yes, Okaa-sama.” She says, hugging her mother back, trying to convince herself that ritual suicide won’t be such a bad way to go if worst comes to worst, that she’s not afraid of death, that she has no right to be, given that she’s died once already.</p><p>Judging by the tears that gather in her eyes, she’s awful at persuasion.</p><p> </p><p>She tries her best.</p><p>She’s even a little annoyed at the fog-headache, because while it keeps her from feeling all the awful truths and doubts about the situation, it also stops her from absorbing Mizuki-sensei’s lectures.</p><p>And she needs to be a model little tree-hugger if she wants Otou-sama to come home.</p><p>The pretty not-knife digs into her stomach whenever she moves. It’s very distracting.</p><p>Naruto and Chouji and Lee and Ino and Kiba and even Sasuke speak to her in careful tones of voice though. Like she might break if they go louder than a slow semi-whisper.</p><p>She wants to appreciate it. She really does. But, well. Brain fog. Makes it hard to concentrate.</p><p>Maybe the fog is also part of chakra? Distancing the host from their intentions and emotions to better manipulate them into mindlessly producing the energy it needs to feed. If she could just get Mizuki-sensei to <em>listen</em>, she could get the use of this stuff banned once and for all—</p><p>By the time she checks back in, she’s blinking up at Akamatsu Ami with the word “Traitor!” ringing in her ears.</p><p> </p><p>“...S-sorry?” She asks, her voice wavering.</p><p>Ami huffs. “What are you, stupid? I said <em>everybody</em> knows your daddy is a filthy traitor to this village. Just watch, his execution will be scheduled before the day is up. Guess the Hokage will know not to take in <em>slant-eyed scrap</em> from Iron anymore.”</p><p>And Naruto is yelling and Ino is yelling and Kiba and Chouji, and Sakura is drawing back a fist to punch Ami square in the mouth, and she can’t understand that, because how does she dare? How does she dare to strike anyone—</p><p>
  <em>Don’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon’tshowagression—</em>
</p><p>—if she knows it’s forbidden? Sakura must be strong. So strong. Why did everyone hate Sakura in her past life if she could be this strong? Strong enough to flagrantly defy the essential rule—</p><p>
  <em>Don’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon’tshowagression—</em>
</p><p>—the one that she could never have the guts to defy, no matter how much it hurts? No matter how much she feels like she’s choking on the inaction? No matter how much it hurts to grit her teeth and clench her fists and bite down harder and harder and harder—</p><p>
  <em>Don’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon’tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon'tshowagressionDon’tshowagression—</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Huh.</p><p>She’s never heard Mizuki-sensei yell this loud before.</p><p>Naruto’s holding her hand and crying. Why is he crying? She tries to shush him, tell him it’s alright, but her just cries harder when her hand brushes his hair, his grip sure to bruise.</p><p>Then there’s the nice man with the scar on his nose kneeling on front of her.</p><p>“Hello Ketsugi-chan.” He says. “Do you know who I am?”</p><p>Of course she does. He’s the one who tries to be nice to Naruto. He’s not always successful, but he tries, which is more than she can say for Taki-sensei and Mizuki-sensei. She tries to tell him this, but it comes out illegible and half-burbled, her mouth burning.</p><p>She frowns. Stupid mind fog.</p><p>“Right.” The nice man says, frowning. She doesn’t want him to frown. She wishes she could give him a better answer. “Well, I’m Iruka-sensei. I’m going to take you to the hospital now, because you’ve bitten your poor lip very hard. Do you understand, Ketsugi-chan?”</p><p>She does and she <em>doesn’t like it</em>, because Okaa-sama said she wasn’t to go anywhere without Naruto or Lee, because if she does go somewhere without Naruto or Lee, she’ll have to commit ritual suicide with the pretty not-knife and then Otou-sama will <em>never</em> come home, because Okaa-sama said they <em>all</em> had to be there for him to be welcomed back, and she wants Otou-sama back, she wants Otou-sama, she wants—</p><p>“Easy Ketsugi-chan, easy, easy.” Iruka-sensei presses a hand to her chest, stopping her from inhaling until the pressure lightens, making her exhale when he presses down again. It should feel scary. It’s weird how it helps her focus on his words instead, “You’ll be okay if Naruto-kun and Lee-kun are with you?”</p><p>Yeah, that sounds fair. She nods rapidly so Iruka-sensei gets the message.</p><p>He grabs her head. His face looks scared, before he begins smiling again, uneasy. “Right. Okay.” He picks her up, cradling her against his green jacket.</p><p>It doesn’t feel like Otou-sama or Gai-sensei picking her up. It’s not bad, but not familiar. She squirms a little in his grip.</p><p>“Lee-san, can you come with us please?”</p><p>She can hear Lee, distantly. It sounds strange, like someone’s taken Lee’s voice and made it too high, too panicked. She wants to pat his head too, tell him it’s all okay, Otou-sama will come back before we know it.</p><p>Then they’re in the village, and then they’re in a white building with a lot of rushing people. It looks like a hospital.</p><p>“That’s because it is a hospital, Ketsugi-chan.” Iruka-sensei says, distracted.</p><p>Oh. That makes sense.</p><p> </p><p>They make Iruka-sensei sit outside.</p><p>They try to make Naruto and Lee stay outside too, but she begins crying and Naruto begins crying and Lee gets shiny eyes and a wobbly lower lip, so eventually they let them in with her.</p><p>The nurse who takes her height and weight is nice, if a little too smiley. The smile is nice, soft and friendly, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes all the way. Like it’s pasted onto her face.</p><p>Her smile goes weird and rigid when Naruto and Lee suddenly begin drooping like they’re tired and she grabs their hands hard to wake them back up. She walks out of the room quickly, without saying a word to any of them.</p><p>The doctor is even <em>more</em> nice, so that makes up for the weird smiley nurse.</p><p>The doctor frowns and says there <em>wasn’t</em> a nurse, but he’s more focused on doing something to Mayu’s mouth which involves a pretty green glow, so she forgives him for being a bit oblivious.</p><p>She gets a lollipop that the nice doctor says is for later, and she tells him <em>obviously</em>, they haven’t even had lunch yet, it’s very important to eat a proper lunch before you can have dessert, otherwise you’ll fill up on nothing but sugar and feel sick later.</p><p>Naruto lets out a watery laugh and the doctor tells her she’s very right, that she should be a nutritionist when she’s older, and pats her head.</p><p>She accepts the head pat but regrettably tells the doctor she’s going to be too busy being a pirate chef to be a nutritionist, but thank you for the offer.</p><p>The doctor tells her that’s okay as Naruto hugs her a little too tight and Lee tells her he thinks she could become the best ninja nutritionist AND a pirate chef if she wanted to when Okaa-sama and Gai-sensei burst in.</p><p> </p><p>So apparently she bit her lip so hard, her teeth ended up going clean through it.</p><p>There’s now a small, white scar on her lower lip, and another on the flesh-colored bit under it where it meets her chin. The nice doctor says it should fade in a couple of years.</p><p>It makes her feel sort of gross to think about it too hard, so she tries not to.</p><p>She gets a lot of hugs, for some reason.</p><p>From Okaa-sama, who manages to confiscate the not-knife with a stern look sometime between the second and the third, and she doesn’t try to hide how much easier it is to breathe without it digging into her.</p><p>From Gai-sensei, who’s bawling about youth and strength and relying on others and youth and somehow has managed to sweep Iruka-sensei into the hug as well, despite the scarred man’s sputtering and attempts to escape.</p><p>Okaa-sama tries to insist that he come round for dinner, but he says a lot of things about not wanting to impose and favoritism, so eventually they haggle him down to treating him to Ichiraku’s some time.</p><p>Nobody can turn down Ichiraku’s.</p><p>Naruto and Lee have been all but attached to her side since the nice doctor told them she’d be fine, but maybe don’t yawn too widely for a few weeks. Naruto somehow managed to smuggle her lollipop away from her during the walk home and is now eating it.</p><p>When she protests, he pulls it out of his mouth with a sour look. “Mayu-chan, you bit yourself so bad I thought you were gonna <em>die</em>. There was blood <em>everywhere</em>, believe it. Imma need the-ra-pee to get over it.”</p><p>“Therapy doesn’t mean you get all my desserts, Naruto.” She replies.</p><p>He raises his eyebrows in challenge, lollipop firmly in his cheek.</p><p>“<em>Fine</em>.” She grouses, leaning more into Lee, who has been moved to tears by Gai-sensei’s third rendition of the importance of relying on your comrades and not shouldering burdens alone.</p><p> </p><p>They end up sort of—collapsing. Once they’re back home.</p><p>It’s been a very stressful week for all of them.</p><p>Guy-sensei is chuffed seven ways to Sunday once he finds out about the tortoise melon bread, which somehow managed to go uneaten in all the fuss of the previous night, so they end up tearing those apart to share as a light lunch.</p><p>Her mother soon drops off, curled up in her armchair, while Gai-sensei ends up snoring on the couch. She regales Naruto and Lee with her best rendition of One Piece’s Alabasta Arc, half-drowsing in the sunlight.</p><p>Lee’s especially enamored with the idea of Luffy’s techniques and the Dugong Gang.</p><p>The Harunos drop by late into the afternoon, bearing their bags and lunchboxes which Mizuki-sensei apparently foisted upon them after school ended, so they share that between them as a late afternoon snack.</p><p>There’s an unspoken consensus that tonight’s dinner will be Ichiraku’s takeout.</p><p>She’s taking down everyone’s orders when there’s a knock at the door.</p><p>There’s a man with familiar blue eyes and blonde hair standing there when she answers the door.</p><p>She doesn’t hear what he says, because hanging over his shoulder, hardly standing under his own steam is—</p><p> </p><p>“OTOU-SAN!!”</p><p>She can barely hear the ragged cry that tears itself from her throat because she’s barreling forward, slamming into her father and holding on as tightly as she can.</p><p>His hakama feels stiff and crusty under her fingers, and he stinks of sweat and copper.</p><p>But she doesn’t care about any of that, doesn’t care that she’s bawling like a helpless little eight year old right here in the street, because her Otou-san is <em>back</em>, he’s <em>here</em>, he’s <em>home</em>.</p><p>The fingers he runs over her hair are rough due to the bandages that cover them, and his face is bruised when he pulls her cheeks up to look at her, grinning widely around a split lip and a broken nose held together with gauze.</p><p>“I’m home, Mayu.” He says.</p><p>And she begins crying all over again, and Naruto barrels into him on her other side, equally snotty nosed, then Lee, and Okaa-san, kissing all of his bruises and choking out a “welcome back” right before Gai-sensei slams into them, toppling everyone to the ground as he wails harder than anyone else.</p><p>Later she’ll learn the blonde man is Ino’s dad, and she’ll make the girl so much pudding that the Yamanaka won’t need to purchase that product for a month. She’ll also make Sakura enough anmitsu that she can’t look at the dessert for a week.</p><p>She’ll learn that her father has bandages on his hands because his fingernails were ripped out, and it takes a long and painful time for them to grown back in before he can even think about holding his bokken like he used to. That he <em>did</em> end up helping the village once Yamanaka-san met with him, because the thieves tried to scatter around money and symbols from other nations to throw everyone off the scent, but he knew the ryō from Iron was twenty years out of date, and all the others were tarnished with age, except for—</p><p>And then her mother will tell her to stop eavesdropping and go to bed, which she will, but not without much whining beforehand.</p><p>But right now, she revels in the slightly crushing weight and squirming limbs of her family around her, and begins laughing wetly through her tears.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The scar on her lip is kind of a pain.</p><p>It feels strange for one thing, tough and bumpy, making her aware of its presence every time her mouth shifts or when she gets too excited while talking or when she yawns too widely.</p><p>Of course, once she’s reminded that it’s there, she want to fiddle with it. But for some reason whenever she gets bored enough to do so, Naruto or Sakura or whoever’s sitting closest to her will grab her arm and say “<em>No</em>.” in a Very Stern Voice.</p><p>It almost feels a little demeaning. Not quite, but almost.</p><p>What <em>is</em> demeaning is Uchiha glaring at her, and demanding, “Are you some kind of coward?”</p><p>She blinks, thermos of miso halfway to her mouth. “Beg your pardon?”</p><p>He eyes her disdainfully. “We’re going to be <em>ninja</em>. We fight to <em>kill</em> our enemies—”</p><p>“I’m going to be a pirate, actually.” She interrupts.</p><p>Naruto snorts softly into his rice.</p><p>“—<em>Pirates kill people too, shut up</em>.” Uchiha hisses.</p><p>“Wait. Is this about the biting thing?” She asks, incredulous. Surely not. Uchiha is a clan kid. He should <em>know</em> how this works—</p><p>Uchiha sniffs imperiously. “You’ll just drag me down if you always need <em>Sakura</em> to save you from a fight.”</p><p>Apparently not.</p><p>
  <em>Robin give her strength.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” Kiba yells. “Sakura beating up Ami was totally <em>badass</em>. Mizuki-sensei shoulda given her a medal instead of detention!”</p><p>Sakura goes as pink as her hair as Akamaru yips in agreement, mumbling something about it not being a big deal around her second stick of dango. She does return the fist bump Kiba offers though.</p><p>“That’s not the <em>point</em>.” Uchiha retorts dismissively. “The <em>point</em> is we’re going to fight and kill as ninja— <em>don’t</em>.” He stabs an accusing finger in her direction and she raises her hands in mock surrender. “And Ketsugi <em>never fights back</em>. She <em>says</em> stuff, but then she runs away, or lets other people take care of it, or hurts herself. It’s weak, stupid <em>cowardice</em>.”</p><p>The last word is said with such vehemence that it’s hard for her not to flinch.</p><p>“Well, it’s not like I have any <em>choice</em>.” She snaps, irritably.</p><p>Uchiha scoffs. “What are you talking about?! The only thing stopping you is your own stupid, cowardly ideas about <em>pacifism</em>!!”</p><p>She blinks, trying to process that last bit. “What? What on <em>earth</em> are you on about?”</p><p>“Don’t pretend you don’t know!” He screams, all but jumping out of his seat, “It’s just like <em>him</em>! I’m not watching another one—not when I can stop it!!”</p><p> </p><p>Uchiha looms over her, glaring down, chest heaving from the force of his yelling.</p><p>She has no idea what he’s talking about. She feels more worried for him than insulted at this point.</p><p>“Hey Shino.” Chouji cuts in, munching on his second onigiri. “There are insects that don’t get along with your bugs, right? Ones that weren’t born in your hive?”</p><p>Shino tilts his head, letting his insects eat bits of strawberry from his daifuku off his finger. “That is a technically true statement. Why? Because while my kikaichū do not have natural enemies in the way ants and termites are opposed to one another, there are several species of insect and arachnid that would prey upon them, which have been utilized by imitator clans in other hidden villages.”</p><p>“Right.” Chouji continues. “So, let’s say you found one of these bugs that eats them had injured one of yours. Not killed, but injured. What do you do?”</p><p>Shino stiffens, but replies, “I would exterminate it. Why? Because it has proven itself a viable threat to my colony.”</p><p>“Wh-that doesn’t mean anything!” Uchiha interrupts. “It’d have to be one of Aburame’s bugs attacking another of the same hive, since Ketsugi was born here, so—”</p><p>“No I wasn’t.”</p><p>Uchiha actually has the gall to shoot her a disbelieving look. “Yes you were.”</p><p>“<em>No I wasn’t.</em>” She hisses, leaning forward. “I was born in <em>Iron</em>, like my father. One of my earliest memories is him and my mother leaving the country, on the run from <em>something</em> that made it better to <em>drug their baby</em> rather than let me cry and have whatever it was <em>find us</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>A hush falls over the table.</p><p>“That would explain why you’re here, in Konoha.” Shikamaru says slowly. “Even if it’s not the closest to Iron, it’s one of the strongest hidden villages, so pursuers would have trouble trying to get through our defenses.”</p><p>“And guess what happens if the village decides me and mine are too much trouble to live here anymore?” She snaps, taking a swig of her miso.</p><p>It’s gone lukewarm.</p><p>Uchiha’s turned pale, staring blankly down at his bruschetta. He slowly sits back down.</p><p>“So...” Kiba says, feeding Akamaru some pork belly. “Are you, like, some kinda lost princess or something?”</p><p>“What? No, of course not.” Ino and Sakura’s eyes take on a worrying gleam. “I said <em>no</em>. I’m <em>not</em>.No. Stop that. Stop it right now, the pair of you.”</p><p>“We’re not doing anything~” Sakura sing-songs, hands clasped against her chest.</p><p>She squints at them, lips thinning. “<em>Lies</em>.”</p><p>“Hey hey, Mayu-chan,” Ino says, leaning forward. “If you just <em>happened</em> to be a lost princess or daimyo’s daughter hiding from a usurper’s assassins, you’d <em>totally</em> hook your best besties in the entire world up with some hot princes, right?”</p><p>“Does Naruto even like princes?” She replies, bracing herself against Sakura’s playful assault on her shins and Ino’s tossed napkins. “Ow, ow, I’m kidding, I’m <em>kidding</em>!”</p><p>“Aw, what! I wanna meet a prince, believe it!” Naruto whines, though his playful tone sounds a little strained.</p><p>“Tough.” She sticks her tongue out at him. He blows a raspberry back in response.</p><p> </p><p>“So who were your family in Iron?” Chouji asks, passing her an apple slice.</p><p>She shrugs, handing him her cookie. “Just one of the many, many samurai clans who serve the Iron daimyo. Like the Kiryuuin, the Kurogane, the Kishi, the Kageyama, the Kihote, the Kikuchi, the Kaname, the Koremune, the Kusakabe, and loads of others.”</p><p>“Do all of these clan names start with ‘K’ sounds?” Hinata asks.</p><p>“...No.” She says.</p><p>“Could you give us an example one that doesn’t?” Hinata asks.</p><p>“...The Okashi.”</p><p>“What the heck, that doesn’t count! They just slapped an ‘O’ in front of the ‘Ka’!” Kiba complains, Akamaru barking his agreement.</p><p>“You’re the last person to say anything about ‘K’ names.” Shikamaru replies.</p><p>“You’ve not got much room to talk either, Shika-kun.” Chouji ribs, nudging his friend.</p><p>From there it devolves into a debate about how many “k” sounds are in whose names, and who has the right to criticize an excess of “k’s” based off of that. So far, only Shino and Hinata are awarded that honor.</p><p>Naruto isn’t as active in the conversation as he usually is, only responding when addressed directly, staring into space when not.</p><p>Uchiha doesn’t say much at all.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto goes straight to the swing-set outside the Academy once the day ends.</p><p>She follows him, watching curiously as he clambers up to stand on the swing, looking up at something behind her with a solemn expression on his face, eyebrows furrowed in thought.</p><p>She goes up to the tree and sits between its roots to wait.</p><p>Lee comes out of the Academy, and come striding towards them. “Greetings Mayu-chan! Naru—”</p><p>“Ssh!” She hushes, jerking her head towards Naruto.</p><p>Lee instantly clams up, a quizzical expression on his face.</p><p>She shuffles a bit to the side and pats the ground next to her, and he plops down to sit cross-legged beside her.</p><p>“What’s Naruto doing?” He whispers to her.</p><p>“I don’t know.” She whispers back. “But he’s concentrating really hard, so I didn’t want to disturb him.”</p><p>Lee nods in understanding, then waves silently but with great enthusiasm at a girl with her hair in buns who passes them.</p><p>She seems like a nice girl, because she waves back.</p><p>They play five rounds of rock-paper-scissors, four of which Lee wins, and one of which results in a hushed debate about whether “gun” is a “youthful” option in this game, before Naruto finally speaks.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna be the Hokage, believe it.”</p><p>They look up at him, standing on the swing, jaw set in determination, hair swaying in the breeze that swirls a few leaves past his face.</p><p>“...Okay? Weren’t you always going to be Hokage though?” She asks, not quite seeing where he’s going with this.</p><p>“Wh—<em>yes</em>, but <em>s’more</em> than that.” Naruto says, exasperation evident in his tone.</p><p>He lets go of one of the swing’s ropes, and gazes down at his clenched fist. “I wanted to be Hokage ‘cause old Jiji’s the most respected person in the village. Everyone loves him, an’ he protects everyone, because everyone’s his precious people.”</p><p>He looks at them, eyes bright and painfully earnest. “But even though everyone in the village is precious, some’ve them’re still so mean to you, and to Otou-san and to Okaa-san, just for being from somewhere not here, f’r bein’ <em>different</em>, an’ that’s not fair. So I wanna be Hokage, so I can tell them not to be mean. I’m gonna be Hokage so you don’t have to bite yourself anymore, and so we can all always go home to Okaa-san and Otou-san and Gai-sensei an’ eat tortoise bread. So everyone can be happy, and understand I’ll protect <em>everyone</em>, no matter what, believe it. What foods we like is more important than where we’re from, right?”</p><p>Oh.</p><p><em>Oh</em>.</p><p>She swallows around a lump in her throat. “Right. T-that’s exactly, exactly right.”</p><p>Lee gives a great sniff, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. “Your resolve is highly youthful, Naruto! I am sure you will even surpass the Yondaime when you become Hokage!!”</p><p>Naruto rubs the back of his head, grinning widely.</p><p>Then a stronger gust of wind rocks the swing and he teeters dangerously, arm windmilling as she and Lee lunge forward to catch him, try to cushion his fall somewhat.</p><p>She’s partly successful as Lee’s lunge ends up knocking Naruto off the swing entirely, the pair landing on her with a <em>thud</em> that drives the air from her lungs and leaves her wheezing.</p><p>“<em>Ow</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>They end up half-limping home.</p><p>Otou-san is dozing on the couch, and he blinks awake drowsily at their chorus of “we’re home,” only to tilt his head in sleepy confusion.</p><p>“What happened to you three?” He asks, nodding towards her dust and bark covered dress as he picks a few leaves off of Naruto’s clothes, before pulling aside some of Lee’s hair to see the faint bruise where the swing swung back and clocked him in the head. “Did you all get into a fight at the Academy?”</p><p>They share a glance.</p><p>“N—” Lee starts.</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>.” She hastily cuts in, “Big fight. Very nasty.”</p><p>Naruto nods vigorously along with her. “Yeah, there were loads of missing nin with huge swords an’ killer laser jutsu an’ stuff.”</p><p>“That does sound scary,” Otou-san says, gently ruffling Lee’s hair with bandaged hands. “Lee, why don’t you go get an icepack from the freezer for that bruise? They’re on the top shelf.”</p><p>As Lee nods and trot off to the kitchen, her father shifts to sit more upright on the couch. “What were missing-nin doing at the Academy anyway?”</p><p>“They thought Mayu-chan was a lost princess, so they were tryna steal her for ransom.” Naruto replies, kneeling next to the couch so he can receive hair ruffles as well.</p><p>“Ah, I see.” Otou-san smiles, obliging him. “Mayu-chan, your mother is waiting in the back yard to do <em>that</em>.”</p><p>“Already?” She grimaces. She’d forgotten— thought she had more time...</p><p>“You don’t have to.” Otou-san urges softly. “There’s no shame in not doing it. I never did when I was your age. We could tell—”</p><p>“No.” She says firmly, fists clenched. “I-I want to do this too. Just—let me go prepare, alright?”</p><p>Her father nods slowly, his face solemn. She turns and climbs the stairs, ignoring Naruto’s worried stares or his queries about what was going on.</p><p>Sanji and Brook give her courage. Let it be over quickly, at least.</p><p> </p><p>“Done.” Okaa-sama says, and she can barely contain her shudder of relief.</p><p>Her mother hands her a mirror, brushing stray bits off her shoulders. “Just as it always is, see?”</p><p>She keeps her gaze on her newly trimmed fringe and the Nico Robin cut brushing her shoulders, pretending she doesn’t see the shorn, wet slivers littering her clothes and the ground around her.</p><p>“Thank you, Okaa-san.” She smiles weakly, gratefully accepting the hug she receives and trying to ignore the pit of guilt in her stomach.</p><p>“I don’t get it.” Naruto says, sitting on the threshold of the back door. “What’s so bad about a haircut?”</p><p>“Well, for samurai, long hair is a mark of honor.” Otou-san says, hands folded into his kimono sleeves. “To have it cut off is a sign that you are no longer a samurai, which is highly dishonorable for lots of people in Iron. Mayu-chan has the spirit of a true samurai, so she hates having her hair cut.”</p><p>“Is that why you still have long hair, Jirou oji-san?” Lee asks, sipping on a cup of juice while holding a half-thawed ice pack to his head.</p><p>Otou-san tries to do an overdramatic flip of his braid, making the two boys giggle when it just ends up smacking him in the arm. “My hair is far too lustrous to be cut by the likes of sword or scissors!”</p><p>“Care to prove it, dear?” Okaa-san challenges, brandishing her scissors playfully.</p><p>Her father retreats back into the house in mock-fear. “You’re one of the lights of my life, darling! Even in the Pure Lands, my love for you will burn brighter than the sun!”</p><p>Her mother shakes her head. “And mine for you will shine brighter than the moon. Now inside, all of you, so we can begin making dinner.”</p><p> </p><p>The discussion about hair continues through the preparation of hamburger steaks with sautéed greens.</p><p>Naruto and Lee are suitably amazed by the idea of women in Iron wearing their hair practically down to their ankles. Her brain just keeps conjuring up a mental image of Kumadori from CP9 in a woman’s kimono, with his long pink hair and kabuki poses.</p><p>“Doesn’t their hair get dirty, Mayu’s Okaa-san?” Naruto asks, almost dropping the patty he’s throwing between his hands.</p><p>Her mother shrugs. “I’m sure it must do— I was just as surprised as you when I saw it after I married your Otou-san and moved into the clan compound. I must confess, I never really understood the fascination for long hair that a lot of people in Iron have.”</p><p>“Do they not wear it like that in Kiri, Chie oba-san?” Lee says, depositing his chili flake-and-paprika-filled hamburger into the hissing frying pan.</p><p>“Oh, they can.” Her mother says, finally taking Naruto’s hamburger off him when he fumbles it again. “My baby cousin Mei had hair down to here.” She wiggles an elbow as she deposits the patty into the pan. “But since her hair was so thick and wavy, she found it a headache to deal with. Mayu-chan’s lucky she got her father’s fine hair, even with my color.”</p><p>“I love this color.” Otou-san declares, leaning over from stirring the spinach to plant a loud, wet kiss on Okaa-san’s cheek.</p><p>She pretends to gag as Naruto snickers, while Lee watches the display of affection with bright, shining eyes.</p><p>“<em>Any</em>way.” She interrupts loudly. “Otou-san, what are we going to do for practice with the bokken? We were gonna move into fighting opponents before—”</p><p>There’s a moment of awkward silence as everyone tries to avoid thinking about what “before” signified.</p><p>“Well, you don’t need to worry about that, Mayu-chan.” Her father says, smile a touch too wide and gleeful. “I’ve made arrangements so we shouldn’t be thrown off our planned course too much. You may even pick it up faster!”</p><p> </p><p>She understands the reason behind his glee the next morning.</p><p>She wishes she didn’t.</p><p>“You can’t be serious.” She says to her grinning father.</p><p>“Why wouldn’t I be?” He beams. “This is the perfect way for you to get used to fighting an opponent. You need to learn how to adapt what I’ve taught you to counter a variety of fighting styles, given that it’s unlikely every opponent you face will be playing by the same rules you are.”</p><p>“Yosh! Well-said, Jirou-san!” Gai-sensei cheers, far too energetic for someone who’s just made them to do thirty laps around Konoha on one leg.</p><p>He finishes warming up and takes up opening position for Strong Fist style. “Now, Mayu-chan! Your aim for today will be to land a single blow on me before I disarm you! When you succeed, we will move on to landing two consecutive blows, then three, and so on until you are able to spar against me properly. Are you ready?”</p><p>The feeling of imminent regret is an old and familiar friend by this point.</p><p>She tries to make sure her grip on the bokken is as solid as possible. “Ready.”</p><p> </p><p>By the time her mother opens the back door, she’s lying on her back, panting from the effort of trying to stand, and the bokken is lodged at the top of the neighbor’s tree.</p><p>She hadn’t even landed a hit <em>once</em>.</p><p>Even with her father yelling “helpful” advice like “<em>Go for the hands!</em>” once chakra had come into play.</p><p>“You have a visitor, Mayu-chan.” Okaa-san says.</p><p>“Ah, greetings young Uchiha! How are you this most youthful morning?” Gai-sensei asks cheerily, like he isn’t half-way to scaling the garden fence to get her weapon back for her.</p><p>She turns her head to the side, just in time to catch sight of Uchiha staring at the green-spandex-clad wonder that is Gai-sensei in silent stupefaction. </p><p>She wishes she had a camera so she could capture his expression.</p><p> </p><p>Uchiha shakes his head, as though to disperse the shock of acknowledging Gai-sensei’s existence, then looks around until he sees her on the ground.</p><p>“What are you doing?” He asks, brows drawn down like he’s personally offended by her presence.</p><p>“Dying.” She tells him flatly. “Lee gets Habu-san, and Naruto gets all my cookbooks. He’ll eat way too much ramen otherwise.”</p><p>Uchiha glances between where Gai-sensei is making a lot of rustling noises and at her, considering. “Can I have the sword?”</p><p>She snorts. “Like shit, that’s <em>Sakura’s</em>. You get the all purpose flour.”</p><p>Her father sighs and kneels down to offer her an arm up. “<em>Language</em>, young lady. You did very well today.”</p><p>Her legs wobble under her and it’s a fight not to collapse right back down.</p><p>Gai-sensei leaps from the tree with a yell, rolling and neatly popping up in front of them with a thumbs up. “Yes! Once you stop freezing up in the face of jutsu, you’ll land a blow on me for sure, Mayu-chan!”</p><p>Uchiha shoots her a look that is extremely judgmental. “You couldn’t even land <em>one</em> hit?”</p><p>“Shut up Uchiha.” She says, taking the bokken back from Gai-sensei with a tired nod. “Why are you here, anyway? Is there a problem with cooking today?”</p><p>“We’re not doing that.” Uchiha drops his voice a few octaves. “I’m giving you the opportunity to prove your fighting spirit. You versus me. No politics, no cowardice. No holding back.”</p><p> </p><p>The wind picks up, a cold draft that swirls leaves between them.</p><p>“Do you <em>want</em> me to die? No.” She says, leaning on the bokken. “I’ve spent all morning getting my a—”Her mother clears her throat pointedly. “—My <em>butt</em> kicked. I need a rest. And food.”</p><p>“Wh—I’ll give you food!” Uchiha blusters. “A-and it’s not just you! I’m fighting everyone!! You can rest while I fight Lee or Shino or something!”</p><p>“SUCH YOUTHFUL SPIRIT!!” Gai-sensei bellows, throwing an arm over Uchiha’s shoulders. “You truly are a paragon of your clan’s sense of camaraderie, young Sasuke! I would be honored if you would allow me to witness your battle with Lee!!”</p><p>“Young Sasuke” cringes away from the spandex’d arm. “<em>No</em>. No adults allowed. They’ll just hold us back.”</p><p>Gai-sensei wilts.</p><p>“Mayu can take some pictures of the fight for us!” Okaa-san adds quickly. “She’ll be happy to do it, won’t you Mayu?”</p><p>Gai-sensei immediately perks back up. “What a youthful idea, Chie-san!! Mayu-chan, be sure to capture these expressions of Youth as best you can! We’re counting on you!”</p><p>He shoots her a vigorous thumbs-up as her mother goes pink and swoons.</p><p>“Ah, I think our camera’s in a drawer over here—” Otou-san darts into the house, muttering under his breath about where he last saw it.</p><p>She stares blearily up at them. “Can I have a shower and some breakfast first?”</p><p> </p><p>By the time she comes back down from her shower, the atmosphere feels very...awkward.</p><p>Lee’s arrived, and has been armed with their family camera on a thick cord around his neck. It’s what she’d consider an old one, big and bulky, that prints out its photos from a little slit on the bottom.</p><p>He waves to her, his mouth full of rice. She gives him a little wave back.</p><p>Uchiha is sitting stiffly in Naruto’s chair, staring down at an untouched plate of tamagoyaki like it’ll hold all the answers to the universe.</p><p>Okaa-san is washing dishes, back tense. She hands her a plate without a word.</p><p>Otou-san’s mouth is drawn, bandaged hand curled into a loose fist. He doesn’t even seem to notice Gai-sensei’s hand on his arm.</p><p>Gai-sensei smiles at her, but it’s <em>strained. </em>If she didn’t know any better, she’d say it’s almost worried.</p><p>She wants to ask what happened in a cool, sneaky way that wouldn’t make the situation get worse, like Robin or Nami or Sanji or Brook can. But she’s not smart enough for that.</p><p>So she shovels egg and rice into her mouth, trying to eat as quickly as possible.</p><p>She wishes Naruto was here. It’s not fair the Hokage gets him for practically the whole two days on these weekends.</p><p>She kicks Uchiha’s ankle under the table. When he yelps and glares at her, she nods towards his plate and mouths “EAT”.</p><p>He scowls at her, but finally takes a bite, chewing aggressively.</p><p> </p><p>They clear their plates in silence.</p><p>“I guess we’re heading out.” She says, after putting their dirty dishes in the sink. Uchiha just grunts and heads straight for the door.</p><p>Even <em>Zoro</em> has better manners than that kid.</p><p>“See you later Gai-sensei, Jirou-oji-san, Chie-oba-san!” Lee yells, holding the camera tightly. “Mayu-chan and I will fight with all of our youthful spirit today!”</p><p>“Lee!” Gai-sensei cries, tears streaming down his face. “You’ve worked so hard in training...I know all your youthful efforts will allow your strength to blossom!!”</p><p>“Gai-sensei!” Lee yells back, beginning to cry himself.</p><p>“<em>Lee</em>!”</p><p>“<em>Gai-sensei</em>!”</p><p>She chuckles despite herself. “I’ll make sure to get a lot of good pictures, Okaa-san, Otou-san.”</p><p>Her mother catches her face in a soapy hand, thumb stroking over her cheek. Her eyes are impossibly sad, for some reason.</p><p>“We love you, Mayu.” She says. “You know that, right?</p><p>She smiles. “Of course I know. I love you too. Even more than Luffy loves meat.”</p><p>The worry on Okaa-san’s face melts into fondness. She leans forward to plant a kiss on her forehead, then steps aside so Otou-san can wipe the soap off her cheek with a tea-towel and plant a noisy kiss there instead.</p><p>Uchiha makes an impatient noise in the hallway, so she and Lee shout their goodbyes as they follow him out of the door.</p><p> </p><p>Lee really likes the camera.</p><p>It took him a little bit to work out the settings to keep the photograph from being under or overexposed, but now he’s merrily snapping away at anything that captures his attention.</p><p>Which, so far, has included a bunch of pink flowers, a dog, a bird in its nest, a couple of ninja outside a weapon shop, an old lady in a pretty kimono who called him “a very nice boy”, and three babies in matching ninja-themed prams.</p><p>“Can you stop that and get a move on?!” Uchiha snaps. “There won’t be any film left at this rate.”</p><p>“Ah! Not to worry, Uchiha-kun!” Lee digs around and pulls out three black capsules of the stuff from...somewhere. “Jirou-oji-san was nice enough to insist I take extra!”</p><p>Uchiha groans and slaps his hands over his face as Lee catches sight of a curry restaurant and snaps a shot of its sign.</p><p>“Aw, lighten up Uchiha. Let him have his fun.” She ribs gently. “Where’s the harm?”</p><p>He stops in the street. When she looks back at him, he’s trembling slightly, fists clenched.</p><p>“<em>Fun</em> doesn’t make you stronger.” He sneers, “It’s a weakness that sets you up to be <em>killed</em>.”</p><p>He strides forward and body-checks her out of the way, stomping off down the road.</p><p>She stares after him, more than a little disquieted, scratching at her scar before following.</p><p> </p><p>She stops and <em>stares</em>.</p><p>Along the top of the Uchiha compound there are katana, naginata, sai, spears, daggers, arrows, knives, staffs with kunai tied to the top, even what looks like a fishing pole.</p><p>All of them have been bound to the top of the exterior wall by copious amounts of black wire and tape, rusting or ornamental blades jabbing at the sky like a hedgehog’s spines.</p><p>Lee lifts the camera and snaps a picture.</p><p>The rest of their lunchtime group is standing near the entrance to the compound, also gaping at the wall’s spiky additions.</p><p>“Ah, Sasuke-kun!” Sakura says. “Um, what’s all this?”</p><p>Uchiha scoffs. “I know you’re a civilian, but even you can recognize traps, can’t you?”</p><p>“Aren’t traps supposed to be hidden?” Kiba mutters, Akamaru whining on top of his head.</p><p>Uchiha pushes open the door, pausing to unhook what looks like several tripwires and other mechanisms. “Even <em>that man</em> wouldn’t be able to get past all of this. He wouldn’t even dare chance it!”</p><p>They all begin trooping inside, only for Uchiha to quickly turn and say, “Step exactly where I step if you don’t want to die.”</p><p>There’s a veritable web of tripwires crossing the path through the compound, spidering haphazardly up trees and the sides of buildings. Several of the abandoned stores have been rigged with what looks like the sharp things Uchiha couldn’t mount on the wall, alongside what she thinks she recognizes as rudimentary explosives.</p><p><em>Usopp preserve us</em>, she thinks as they gingerly pick their way through the tangle after the last Uchiha, who <em>may</em> have gone off the deep end while they weren’t looking.</p><p>Shikamaru mutters “<em>Troublesome</em>,” like an oath.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There’s too many tripwires, tangled and snarled, waiting to ensnare them with every movement.</p>
<p>Uchiha’s clearly had practice navigating this web, stepping sure-footed from one indistinguishable “safe” area to the next.</p>
<p>The rest of them aren’t nearly as experienced.</p>
<p>Kiba hops into the “safe” zone Shikamaru just vacated. He stumbles forward an inch too far.</p>
<p>A wire twangs.</p>
<p>It feels like slow motion, watching the wire pull on another and that tug another, all the way to an abandoned kimono shop filled with piles of abandoned knives, kunai, and shuriken, which Hinata’s frozen in front of.</p>
<p><em>Pwack</em>.</p>
<p>The last wire drifts harmlessly to the ground from where it snapped under the stress, the detonator left unactivated.</p>
<p>She heaves out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding, bracing her hands on her suddenly weak knees.</p>
<p>“Uh...whoops?” Kiba says, scratching the back of his head. He then yelps when Akamaru begins gnawing on his hand with his sharp little teeth as everyone complains at him at once.</p>
<p>“Be more careful, dog breath!!” Ino screeches, shaking a fist. “Don’t you know how bad it could’ve been if—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chouji shifts backwards, away from Ino’s yelling.</p>
<p>A wire twangs.</p>
<p>This one doesn’t snap harmlessly.</p>
<p>She doesn’t quite remember moving. She just sees Chouji’s scared face, staring in dismay at the projectiles racing towards him as the <em>boom</em> resonates in her bones.</p>
<p>She grabs him, twists his head down and away, trying to cover as much of him as she can, feels another arm grab her dress—</p>
<p>Pain <em>burns</em> across her shoulder blades.</p>
<p>She can’t quite bite down on her scream.</p>
<p>It hurts, it hurts, oh dear Merry, it <em>hurts</em>!!</p>
<p>She tries to keep herself standing despite how much she wants to collapse into a little ball and sob, telling herself she’s had worse than this, it isn’t that bad, she was <em>shot</em> in her last life for the love of Sunny.</p>
<p>The way her back burns like it’s been set aflame is a pretty good counterargument to that though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She blinks hazily down at Chouji who, aside from looking like he’s going to cry, seems to be unharmed.</p>
<p>Good. That’s good.</p>
<p>But she seems to have shifted sideways from her original position—?</p>
<p>The grip on her dress loosens.</p>
<p>Ino tilts forwards, whimpering, several needle-like projectiles embedded in her lower back, wet blood beginning to spread across the yellow of her shirt.</p>
<p>Chouji’s face grows even paler as she lands on his shoulder and begins to slant towards the ground.</p>
<p>She grabs the blonde girl by the shoulder and pulls her up to lean against her shoulder, gritting her teeth against the flare of pain the increase in weight brings.</p>
<p>“INO-CHAN!!” Sakura screams, sounding more scared than she’s ever heard her.</p>
<p>“Haruno, <em>don’t move</em>.” Shino barks, the buzz of his insects audible even from their position. “Why? Because another explosion could endanger their lives beyond any hope of rescue.”</p>
<p>Sakura stops short, eyes wide and watery, staring at their little trio like that could somehow transport her to them.</p>
<p>“I-I’m fiii–iiiine!” Ino blubbers against her neck, hands alternately tightening and loosening on her and Chouji’s clothes. “Don’ w-worry, a-a-a Yama-ma-n’ka d-does-doesn’t—”</p>
<p>Her sentence devolves into a pained wail, shoulders hitching with sobs.</p>
<p>She tries rubbing small circles into the crying blonde’s upper back to soothe her, tearing her gaze away from the dripping red shirt to stare up at the ruin of a grocery store that now resembles a structurally unstable pincushion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ino...” Chouji says, voice trembling dangerously. “Mayu-chan...I-I’m so-sorry—”</p>
<p>“S’not your fault, Chouj.” She weakly tries to smile.“Not letting you get hurt.”</p>
<p>“Y-yeah.” Ino sniffles. “We’re go-gonna be <em>Ino-Shika-Cho</em>. ‘S my <em>job</em> t-to keep you-you <em>numbskulls</em> safe.”</p>
<p>Chouji’s eyes take on a watery shine, and he begins hiccuping dangerously.</p>
<p>Oh Chopper, no. A crying Ino, she can manage, but if <em>Chouji</em> joins in there’s no way she’ll be able to hold back the waterworks herself.</p>
<p>With her luck, they’ll end up setting off another tripwire and dying because their vision was impaired by tears.</p>
<p>Shikamaru lets out a huff, posture tense. “Stop being so troublesome. Chouji, are you hurt?”</p>
<p>“I-I’m fine!” He calls back, sniffing loudly and scrubbing at his eyes.</p>
<p>“Think you can carry Ino?” Shikamaru shouts.</p>
<p>Chouji nods, determined. He shuffles around very carefully, eyes fixed on the wires still surrounding them, until she can carefully maneuver Ino off her shoulder and onto his back in a piggyback carry.</p>
<p>Ino whimpers as the position change shifts the needles in her back.</p>
<p>“Do I go forward or back?” Chouji calls.</p>
<p>“Go back!” Kiba yells. “Blondie and Dead-Fish-Eyes need a doctor!!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She cranes her head to look over her shoulder instead of physically turning.</p>
<p>It’s an awfully long way to the door of the compound.</p>
<p>And, aside from the spot where Lee’s standing, she has no idea where any of the past “safe zones” are.</p>
<p>“How can we?” She shouts. “There’s nothing to mark the path back!”</p>
<p>There’s a slightly horrified silence.</p>
<p>“Well fuck.” Kiba says. Then, “Don’t tell my Ma I said that.”</p>
<p>“M-maybe Sasuke-kun could go back to show the way?” Sakura suggests.</p>
<p>“What, and knock the rest of us into his death-trap?” Shikamaru sneers. “No thanks.”</p>
<p>Uchiha puffs up in indignation. “It’s not my fault!! I told you not to mess around if you didn’t wanna die! This is designed to stop that man, so if you’re too <em>fat</em> and <em>dumb</em>—”</p>
<p>“If Uchiha Itachi was <em>half</em> the ninja everybody said he was, he’ll know how to walk up walls and use roofs to avoid ground obstacles.” Shikamaru cuts in coldly. “So all this is <em>pointless effort</em>.”</p>
<p>Uchiha’s mouth works soundlessly, cheeks flushing a bright red as the other boy mercilessly continues, “Plus the junk on your compound walls are just cheap substitutes for <em>real</em> siege defenses, so any genin who can climb a tree could slip between the gaps.”</p>
<p><em>Ouch</em>. She almost wants to wince in sympathy.</p>
<p>Uchiha’s face goes a deep, angry crimson, and he bristles like he’s seconds away from launching himself at Shikamaru, death trap between them or no, while the ponytailed boy is glaring holes through him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“U-um!” Hinata yells, sticking an arm in the air like she’s being called on in class. “I-Ino-san and Mayu-san really need m-medical attention for their injuries! So-so w-we should focus on this first! U-Uchiha-san, you have a first aid kit a-at your house, r-right?”</p>
<p>“<em>Obviously</em>.” Uchiha snaps, not taking his eyes off of Shikamaru.</p>
<p>“O-okay, thank you, Uchiha-san.” Hinata fidgets. “Akimichi-san, d-do you think you can get to the next part of the pa-path towards us?”</p>
<p>Chouji scans the web in front of them. “I–I think I can!” He calls back. “I’ll do my best!”</p>
<p>“Go-good!” Hinata nods. “Ma-Mayu-san, do you need any help with your injuries?”</p>
<p>She rolls a shoulder, wincing at the fresh wave of pain. It <em>hurts</em>, but her vision’s not blacking out anymore, so...“I think I’m good, Hinata!”</p>
<p>“...Are you <em>sure</em>?” Hinata asks, doubt coloring her tone.</p>
<p>“As sure as I can be.” She says, pretending that the aching doesn’t make her want to scream.</p>
<p>The pale-eyed girl gives her a little purse-lipped expression of displeasure which really should not be visible given how far away she is, but is somehow.</p>
<p>“Worry not, Hinata-san!” Lee calls from behind her. “I will ensure Mayu-chan’s safety as we navigate!”</p>
<p>“O-okay then, I leave it to you, Lee-san!” Hinata replies.</p>
<p>She almost feels insulted. What, she can’t be trusted to look after herself now?</p>
<p>“Uchiha-san.” Hinata asks tentatively, “W-would it be alright with you if we use-used your first aid kit to treat Ino-san and Mayu-san’s i-injuries?”</p>
<p>There’s a silence that stretches on about a minute too long for comfort.</p>
<p>“Sure. Whatever.” Uchiha turns his back on them. “No messing around this time, got it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They continue to the main house in silence.</p>
<p>The only noises are Ino’s whimpers and gasps of pain when Chouji lands a little too hard in the next spot. He always murmurs a soft apology and tries not to jostle her too much.</p>
<p>They all breathe a sigh of relief when Uchiha finally opens the front door and crosses the threshold, then turns to help Hinata over the last of the wires so she’s inside as well.</p>
<p>He promptly turns and stalks off into the darkness of the house, leaving her to try to help Shino on her own.</p>
<p>She feels tired to her very bones by the time she finally gets to the door from trying to ignore the fire on her shoulder blades, and it’s a struggle not to sway on her feet as she carefully navigates the last few obstacles.</p>
<p>It’s a comfort to know Lee’s behind her, almost comically alert, when her foot buckles and he immediately grabs her to keep her from toppling.</p>
<p>Between him and Shino, she’s somehow manhandled the last few steps through the door, then hustling her down the corridor to the veranda where Hinata’s sitting with a bowl of steaming water, a bottle of antiseptic, several piles of torn up clothes and gauze, and Ino lying face down on an old, and now blood-stained towel.</p>
<p>Chouji’s pressing wads of gauze to her back as Sakura pulls the needles out with a pair of tweezers and deposits them to the side, face pale but determined. Hinata then carefully swabs the wound with steaming water and antiseptic, and presses more gauze down on it.</p>
<p>She thinks she remembers something from her past life saying you shouldn’t pull out things you’ve been stabbed with, but she doesn’t have enough confidence in it to interrupt the delicate operation here.</p>
<p>Despite all the small cries she’s emitting, Ino’s lying still as a statue, one of her hands gripping Shikamaru’s, who is also lying face-down on the floor for some reason.</p>
<p>Uchiha’s just standing in the garden, shoulders tense, resolutely not looking back at them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s lead to another old towel, where Kiba’s waiting nervously with another bowl of steaming water.</p>
<p>Akamaru licks her cheek as she lies down on it, so she lifts a careful hand and scratches him behind the ears.</p>
<p>“So, uh.” Kiba says. “Now what?”</p>
<p>Hinata cranes her head as Sakura begins wrestling with the second to last needle. “U-um, it’d be best if you could get the c-cloth out of the way? So you can clean out the wounds?”</p>
<p>There’s spluttering above her. “B-but she’s a <em>girl</em>! I can’t take a <em>girl’s</em> clothes off! Do you know how bad my Ma would kill me?!”</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh for the love of Chopper—</em>
</p>
<p>She rolls the top of the towel down so she has a little cylinder under her mouth that she can lean down and bite. If she tries to bite her lip for this, it’ll likely go through again, and she <em>does not</em> need that on top of everything else.</p>
<p>Then, as quickly as she can, she yanks the straps of her dress down her shoulders, groaning in pain when tentative scabs are ripped open by the material’s movement. She pulls her arms out of it, and pushes the dress down until it‘s scrunched up around the top of her obi.</p>
<p>Then she thunks her head back down the floor and lets herself go limp and just <em>hurt</em>.</p>
<p>“Don’ ma’e me do tha’ ag’n.” She threatens through the towel in her teeth.</p>
<p>There’s a beat and then Kiba squeaks a shaky “Okay.”</p>
<p>She listens as a cloth is dipped into the bowl of water, biting down harder on the towel and silently praying to Chopper for this to be over quickly as it begins swabbing her shoulders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She drops into a muzzy semi-doze under the burn of the water and the sting of antiseptic and the stiff press of gauze.</p>
<p>Then Uchiha yelps in a mixture of fear and outrage.</p>
<p>She lifts her head.</p>
<p>“...Lee.” She says, letting the tooth-marked and spit-soaked towel drop from her mouth.</p>
<p>“Yes Mayu-chan?”</p>
<p>“Am I hallucinating from blood loss or is there a nudist on Uchiha’s roof?”</p>
<p>There’s the sound of the camera shutter. Then a whir as it spits out a photograph.</p>
<p>“You aren’t hallucinating Mayu-chan. See?” He helpfully holds the photo of the purple-haired woman wearing nothing but a trench coat and mesh tights in front of her face.</p>
<p>“Thanks Lee.”</p>
<p>The nudist snorts. “That’s not a very respectful way to address your seniors, bratlings. You should be honored that you’re in the presence of the great Anko-onee-sama.”</p>
<p>“We will be, if you put some clothes on.” She replies. Then she glances behind her. “Kiba, if your nosebleed gets on my bandages, I’m telling your mom you swore.”</p>
<p>Kiba swears again, turning to the side and grabbing one of the spare clothes to stem the blood flow, accidentally-on-purpose kneeing her in the ribs in the process.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The nudist cackles, leaping down from the roof. “Well, aren’t you a pathetic bunch, huh? Guessing the big boom earlier was thanks to you brats fooling around?”</p>
<p>“You can’t be here!” Uchiha yells, little hands balled into fists. “This is Uchiha land! You’re trespassing!”</p>
<p>The nudist makes a show of gasping theatrically, hands pressed against her cheeks. “No, <em>really</em>? Well gee, guess I’ll have to—but what’s <em>this</em>?”</p>
<p>She pulls a piece of paper from a pocket of her coat with an unnecessary flourish. “Read it and weep, brat.”</p>
<p>Uchiha snatches the paper, eyes darting over it frantically. “A search warrant?!”</p>
<p>“Issued by Hokage-sama himself.” The nudist says smugly. “For disruption of the peace of Konohagakure.”</p>
<p>Then she straightens up. “Holy shit, is that baby Yamanaka?”</p>
<p>Ino makes an unintelligible sound of pain and suffering.</p>
<p>The nudist strides forward, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at Chouji’s attempts to shield Ino from view. To be fair, she doesn’t exactly need to do much to see over him due to her height advantage.</p>
<p>The nudist whistles. “Well, I knew the Uchiha clan would end with you, kiddo, but I didn’t know I’d witness it today.”</p>
<p>“W-what?” Uchiha’s voice has gone very high and soft. All the blood has drained from his face.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Inochin-chin is gonna kill you when he sees what you let happen to his precious wittle baby girl.” The nudist says blithely.</p>
<p>“But it wasn’t Uchiha-san!” Chouji bursts out. “I was the one who triggered the trap— if Inoichi-oji-san is gonna be mad at someone, it should be me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Chouji, no—” She starts to argue.</p>
<p>She’s cut off by Ino making muffled noises of protest and disagreement from where she’s still face down on the towel.</p>
<p>The nudist raises her other eyebrow, then walks around and delivers a sharp kick to Shikamaru’s side.</p>
<p>He yelps, then curls around the attacked area, groaning. Ino finally pushes herself up with a muttered “<em>oh thank Nami</em>,” indents from the towel’s fibers embedded into her face.</p>
<p>“Maintaining a shadow possession jutsu even while asleep, huh?” The nudist says. “Not bad, baby Nara. You’ve probably burned your chakra pathways to shit, but not bad.”</p>
<p>“Daddy’s not gonna kill anyone!” Ino says staunchly. “Sasuke-kun set up those traps to defend against a traitor to Konoha, and me and Mayu-chan protected Chouji when one happened to go off. It was an accident, honest.”</p>
<p>“Oh sweetie.” The nudist coos. “<em>Every</em> accident has someone to blame for it if you look hard enough. Especially when something as important as the safety of clan heirs and the peace of the village is on the line.”</p>
<p>Uchiha’s gone so pale it looks like he might faint.</p>
<p>The nudist places her hands on her hips. “Now, as the official investigating jounin, I need to assess the threat level of this setup to the village.”</p>
<p>She glances around without moving an inch from where she stands. “It’s shit. It’s only a danger to genin who can’t get their heads out of their asses and civilians, and no one cares about them. Pay some chunin to dismantle it and learn how to make better traps.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Uchiha doesn’t respond.</p>
<p>He’s just staring at the ground, little fists twisting the fabric of his shirt between them so hard it almost looks like it’ll rip.</p>
<p>“Well, not that this isn’t totally boring.” The nudist says, looking a little put out, “But Inochin-chin will have my head if I don’t get baby Yamanaka <em>actual</em> medical attention. Not that you haven’t been doing a good job, Hyuuga.” She gives Hinata a positively feral grin. “I’m tempted to congratulate Hiashi about his daughter’s <em>skill</em> as a medic nin.”</p>
<p>Hinata blanches, pale eyes wide. “A-ah, <em>no</em>, no than-thank you A-An-Anko-sama.”</p>
<p>The nudist snickers to herself. “Yeah, I figured as much.”</p>
<p>The woman bends down and hoists Ino up under one arm none-too-gently if the way she sucks air in through her teeth is any indication.</p>
<p>“Wait!” Sakura says. “What about Mayu-chan?”</p>
<p>The nudist stops and looks down at her. “What, little miss fashion disaster in the obi and leg warmers?”</p>
<p>“Hey!” She protests, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.</p>
<p>“Our leg warmers are most youthful and fashionable!” Lee argues, pulling up the leg of his trousers to show off the matching orange. “They are a valuable aid in our training as well!”</p>
<p>The nudist looks confused. Then her face slowly takes on an expression of fierce, unholy glee.</p>
<p>“<em>Oh</em>.” She crows with a terrifying amount of delight. “<em>You’re</em> Gai’s kids.”</p>
<p>She chokes on her own saliva. Lee goes even pinker than Sakura’s hair.</p>
<p>“<em>What</em>.” They squeak in unison.</p>
<p>The nudist throws back her head and cackles.</p>
<p>Then the woman scoops her up in a bruising grip that drives the air from her lungs and the sight of her friends goes fuzzy and tilted and warped through the film of swirling leaves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The leaves stop swirling and they’re somehow outside the Uchiha compound.</p>
<p>Her head’s spinning and her body’s thrumming with the sense of wrong wrong wrong.</p>
<p>She promptly throws up on the nudist’s sandals.</p>
<p>The nudist shrieks like a banshee and flings her away to crash into the dirt, screeching about ungrateful bratlings and Gai paying for cleaning.</p>
<p>Her vision whites out from the pain for a few minutes.</p>
<p>When she can see again, a bigger Shikamaru with scars is looking down at her.</p>
<p>“Chakra is evil.” She tells him. “I hate it.”</p>
<p>He blinks. “Chakra is inherently neutral, regardless of who’s using it. Saying it’s evil is like saying your blood is evil—it doesn’t have a consciousness to comprehend things like that.”</p>
<p>“Yes it does.” She argues. “It just pretends not to. So it can eat the energy from our training and studying. ‘S a parasite. It’s not supposed to be there at all.”</p>
<p>The bigger Shikamaru snorts. “All beings need chakra to live. If you drain the chakra from, say, a tree, the tree dies. There’s nothing alive that doesn’t have chakra flowing through it, no matter how weak.”</p>
<p>She’s about to reply that her past life is proof of that being false, and that the tree dying might be like trying to adjust after having a lifetime of poison pumped into your veins cut off, when another man’s voice calls out, “Shikaku! Pick the poor girl up off the ground <em>before</em> you have a philosophical debate with her!”</p>
<p>The bigger Shikamaru rolls his eyes and mutters “<em>Troublesome</em>.” under his breath, before bending down and scooping her up to sit on his hip.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s a lot of adults outside the compound.</p>
<p>There’s Ino’s dad, who’s fussing over her a lot, and Chouji’s dad, who waves at her, and a guy with spiky hair and a white chevron on his nose who leaps down from the roofs with Kiba, Akamaru and Sakura under his arms, placing them down before leaping away again.</p>
<p>Bigger Shikamaru then makes a face and pulls the hand on her back away to reveal spots of blood. “What happened here?”</p>
<p>“A trap got set off.” She says. “It was gonna hurt Chouji, so me and Ino got in the way.”</p>
<p>Bigger Shikamaru glances at her suspiciously. “Right. And how did this trap get set off?”</p>
<p>She decides discretion is the better part of valor and shrugs, wincing at the movement. “Lots of tripwires. Hard to tell.”</p>
<p>Bigger Shikamaru gives a slow nod, like he doesn’t quite believe her. “Uh huh. And why were there so many tripwires?”</p>
<p>“Because Uchiha’s scared.” She says, looking the man dead in the eye. “He’s really, really scared of <em>that man</em> coming back to finish the job. And he has no one to look after him, so he’s trying to protect himself. And us. By fighting us to make us stronger, or something. He didn’t explain it well.”</p>
<p>Bigger Shikamaru appears inscrutable during her tirade, but he looks away when she keeps staring pointedly at him, with another muttered “<em>Troublesome</em>.”</p>
<p>The click of a camera shutter has her looking over to see Lee taking pictures of the spiky haired guy and another guy with floppy hair, who are posing dramatically for photos. Kiba’s attempting to photobomb them with little success as Shikamaru watches.</p>
<p>“Right.” Bigger Shikamaru hitches her higher on his hip, raising his voice. “Chouza, can you get the rest of them home? Inoichi and I need to get these two to the hospital.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lee insists on coming along with them.</p>
<p>Once they realize what’s going on, Sakura and Chouji beg to come along too. It sort of snowballs from there, so they end up with a gaggle of children and Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji’s dads causing a bit of a stir when they all enter the hospital’s reception area.</p>
<p>She sees the same nice doctor from when she bit her lip last time, with the blond hair and pink eyes.</p>
<p>The nurse is nowhere to be seen.</p>
<p>She tells the nice doctor she didn’t bite her lip at all, even when it really hurt, while he’s doing something with the green glow to her shoulders that makes them stop hurting.</p>
<p>He pats her head and gives her a lollipop, and then gives extra ones to Kiba, Hinata, Shino, and Sakura with a wink and vague compliments to the mysterious medical experts for their good work.</p>
<p>Kiba doesn’t stop grinning for the rest of the afternoon, Shino’s insects buzz gently which she thinks means he’s happy, and even Hinata seems quietly pleased.</p>
<p>Chouji’s dad walks her, Lee and Sakura home after they get the confirmation that Ino’s going to be fine, while Shikamaru’s dad takes Hinata, Kiba, Shino, and Uchiha.</p>
<p>Sakura’s quiet and subdued the whole way home, lollipop in her cheek, rubbing her fingers together every so often. She gives a weak little “<em>bye</em>” when they drop her off at her house.</p>
<p>Okaa-san looks particularly harried when she opens the door and takes note of the newly-healed marks on her back and the state of her blood-stained and dusty dress.</p>
<p>Her mother sends her upstairs to have a wash and get changed while Chouji’s dad has a talk with her and Otou-san.</p>
<p>By the time she comes back down, Chouji’s dad has gone home and her parents are sitting around the dinner table as Lee shows them his photos.</p>
<p>“Mayu-chan.” Otou-san says, holding up a picture of her and Ino crouched over Chouji with silver streaks soaring past them like deadly shooting stars. “Not that we aren’t proud of you for looking after your friends, but could you work a little harder to avoid getting hurt too please?”</p>
<p>“I’ll try, Otou-san.” She choruses guiltily.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It seems like what happened has become the talk of the village by dinner time.</p>
<p>Though she could be biased because that happens to be the time Gai-sensei bursts in, babbling on about explosions and grievous wounds and youth and her being sick on Anko’s shoes.</p>
<p>This earns her another week-long cooking ban, on the grounds that it might be a bug and not evil chakra that made her throw up.</p>
<p>Even Iruka-sensei brings it up at Ichiraku’s the following night.</p>
<p>“I heard you had an eventful day yesterday.” He says politely while they’re waiting for their noodles. He seems a bit more at ease now Naruto and Lee aren’t there.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” She sighs, tracing the woodgrain with her finger. “It’s just—<em>ugh</em>.”</p>
<p>Iruka-sensei is nice, so he doesn’t chuckle at her little exclamation of disgust and waits for her to explain herself.</p>
<p>“It’s just—” She throws her hands up at not knowing what it “just” is and decides to start over from what she does know. “Uchiha is <em>not</em> a bad person. He’s dumb and awkward and— whatever, but he’s not <em>bad</em>. He’s just scared. And alone. And everyone thinks he knows what he’s doing because the teacher keeps saying he’s a prodigy and that he’s the best at everything—but he has no shi–<em>blooming</em> clue.”</p>
<p>Iruka-sensei nods seriously, brows furrowing, so she continues. “But he doesn’t <em>know</em> that he doesn’t—or he thinks that since everyone’s calling him a prodigy that he’s <em>supposed</em> to. So when he got scared about the man who murdered his clan coming back because of the thieves, he tried to protect himself with the wires and traps, because there’s no adults who’ll defend him. And then he tried to have everyone over to defend us too, because he’s not a bad person, he’s just kinda dumb and paranoid, y’know?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I...think I do know, yes.” Iruka-sensei says slowly, like he’s realizing something.</p>
<p>“Yeah—and before me and Naruto went over and cleaned his kitchen, his kitchen was a tip, because he had no idea what to do with all this food people were giving him!” She turns to Teuchi-sama. “I mean, he was just eating white rice and uncooked tomatoes everyday! It was like when I met Naruto, except he had all this food when Naruto had nothing, but he didn’t know what to do with it, so it was all rotting and going to waste!”</p>
<p>Teuchi-sama winces.</p>
<p>“That must’ve stunk something awful!” Ayame-sama chirps.</p>
<p>“Sanji as my witness it <em>did.</em>” She groans, covering her face while Otou-san carefully pats her back.</p>
<p>“Nobody was feeding Naruto?” Iruka-sensei interrupts, brows drawn down.</p>
<p>“Not from what we could see.” Okaa-san replies, daintily sipping at her water. “He’d be chased out of the market. I think Ichiraku’s was the only place he could get a square meal, until Mayu-chan started feeding him.”</p>
<p>Teuchi-sama nods. “He was our favorite customer. Still is, in fact.”</p>
<p>“Mayu with her little lunchboxes.” Otou-sama smiles nostalgically. “Up at the crack of dawn, carrying around those sheets of paper with what he liked and didn’t like on them.”</p>
<p>She squirms, cheeks heating up. “I didn’t <em>know</em> him then.” She complains. “But he was <em>hungry</em>. I couldn’t leave him <em>hungry</em>.”</p>
<p>Teuchi-sama nods approvingly as he slides a bowl of miso ramen in front of her.</p>
<p>Iruka-sensei is quiet while he eats.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>What did you tell him</em>.” Uchiha growls at lunch on Monday.</p>
<p>She blinks in confusion, about to bite into her onigiri. “What did I tell who?”</p>
<p>Uchiha looks pained, his grilled sandwich leaking tomato juice and pesto in his grip.</p>
<p>“The Hokage,” He grits out. “Has determined that I am not <em>suited</em> to living on my own because of something <em>one of you</em> said. So I now have this chunin <em>living</em> in my <em>house</em> and leaving his stupid porn <em>everywhere</em>.”</p>
<p>She winces. “But I haven’t seen the Hokage all weekend. He was with Naruto, and Naruto wasn’t with us.”</p>
<p>“We did hear the explosion.” Naruto pipes up unhelpfully. “It really freaked his mask guys out—we thought the village was under attack or something when we heard it, believe it!”</p>
<p>Sasuke glares at them all, taking a mutinous bite of his sandwich.</p>
<p>“Mayu.” Shikamaru says. “Do you know what my dad does?”</p>
<p>She frowns as she swallows and takes another bite. “Tactician?”</p>
<p>Shikamaru’s smile is slow and spiteful. “He’s the Jounin Squad Leader of Konoha. Second only to the Hokage himself.”</p>
<p>She stops chewing.</p>
<p>Oh. <em>Oh</em>.</p>
<p>Whoops.</p>
<p>Uchiha looks between the two of them, growing redder and redder with each passing second.</p>
<p>“TRAITORS!!!” He howls finally, and flings himself across the table at Shikamaru.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They all get detention again.</p>
<p>She’s really not sure how long the teacher expects to keep justifying things with “you’re friends and supposed to control each other” when <em>he’s</em> the authority figure here.</p>
<p>Though maybe her telling him this wasn’t the best idea.</p>
<p>“Well, you weren’t wrong.” Chouji says loyally.</p>
<p>“Thank you Chouji.” She replies.</p>
<p>“Still a dumb thing to say.” Naruto adds.</p>
<p>She places her hand over his mouth. “Sssh.”</p>
<p>He licks it again.</p>
<p>While they’re wrestling, she hears Sakura ask Uchiha, “Are you gonna be okay, Sasuke-kun?”</p>
<p>Uchiha snorts. “I’ll be fine. I just have to convince the Hokage that I’m strong enough to live on my own. And to do that, I need to get rid of the trespasser in my home.”</p>
<p>“...How are you gonna do that?” Ino asks, sounding a lot more wary than she has in previous Uchiha conversations.</p>
<p>He grunts in a way that conveys indecision, or maybe constipation.</p>
<p>“What if you pranked him?” Naruto suggests from where she’s almost managed to force her spit-contaminated arm to touch his cheek. “I know some pretty good ones that the jerks in the market <em>never</em> saw coming!”</p>
<p>Uchiha pauses.</p>
<p>His lips curl into a slow, cruel smirk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s not privy to all the details, because Naruto is sworn to solemn secrecy by the prankster’s code.</p>
<p>What she does know is that the chunin who leaves his porn everywhere is subjected to potent itching powder in every fabric item he attempts to use, and somehow becomes convinced that the ghosts of the Uchiha clan would curse his family with pimply skin for every generation thereafter if he did not vacate the premises immediately.</p>
<p>Sasuke’s victorious mood is dampened when the Hokage apparently sends a new chunin to live with him the very next day.</p>
<p>This chunin apparently has a bad habit of talking down to children, no matter whether they’re the last remnants of their clan or not, and abusing his new position to bring home “friends”.</p>
<p>Uchiha takes this as a declaration of <em>war</em>.</p>
<p>The chunin ends up mobbed by every cat from here to Kusagakure thanks to a potent mixture of valerian, catnip, and a secret ingredient that Uchiha refuses to divulge which was mixed into his shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in small enough increments to be unnoticeable until it was too late.</p>
<p>The Hokage sends a jounin.</p>
<p>Kiba ends up recruited to the cause.</p>
<p>The jounin somehow ends up ingesting enough laxatives to put a small monkey out of commission, and then has his all-black ensemble and glasses forcibly dyed many colors thanks to the liberal application of industrial-strength paint.</p>
<p>The Hokage sends Anko.</p>
<p>The ensuing carnage results in the statue of the Niidaime losing its nose and has Uchiha lying low for three weeks, alternating between hiding in her and Sakura’s houses and Naruto’s apartment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few days before their finals, Uchiha comes in looking oddly...defeated.</p>
<p>“The Hokage and the Council say that unless I accept the next caretaker they provide for me, I’m going to go into the Orphanage and the Uchiha lands will be forfeit.”</p>
<p>Hinata covers her mouth with her hands. Ino and Kiba sit there, silent and slack-jawed. Chouji pushes away his food and Shikamaru actually sits up. Shino’s insects stop buzzing altogether.</p>
<p>“They can’t do that, can they?” Naruto says, looking around for confirmation. “I mean, that’s your home, right? It’s <em>yours</em>.”</p>
<p>“But Sasuke-kun’s technically a ward of state and has to do what they say.” Sakura says slowly. “Until he becomes a genin or comes of age as a civilian.”</p>
<p>“And that’s eighteen or something, right?” She adds with a heavy heart.</p>
<p>Uchiha puts his head down on the table.</p>
<p>“Hey, that’s rough man.” Kiba says, reaching out to pat him on the shoulder. “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Akamaru strides down the table and settles himself next to Uchiha’s head, gently licking his cheek until the boy turns and buries his hand in the puppy’s soft fur.</p>
<p>“Did they say who it’ll be?” She asks gently, pushing her BLT over to him.</p>
<p>He shakes his head slowly, lifting the sandwich and taking a bite. “The Hokage only said they’ll be there to greet me after school.”</p>
<p>“Well, whoever they are, they can’t be worse than Anko, right?” Ino says, trying to be upbeat.</p>
<p>Everybody at the table shudders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They stand with him in solidarity at the end of the Academy day.</p>
<p>The other parents and children look at them strangely, a group of clan kids and a few civilians bunched together around the last Uchiha like a protective barrier, but no one comes forward to try and take him.</p>
<p>It isn’t until the last of them are leaving that someone arrives.</p>
<p>Iruka-sensei comes out of the Academy building, carrying a suitcase.</p>
<p>“Ah, Ketsugi-chan, Lee-kun, Uzumaki-kun!” He says, smiling brightly. “How are you doing?”</p>
<p>“We are well, thank you Iruka-sensei!” Lee says. “We are waiting with Uchiha-kun for his new guardian!”</p>
<p>Iruka-sensei’s eyes soften and he kneels down. “So you’re Sasuke-kun, huh? My name is Umino Iruka. It’s nice to meet you.”</p>
<p>Uchiha averts his eyes and stares stubbornly at the floor.</p>
<p>“I don’t want you in my house.” He says. “But the Hokage says if I don’t I have to go to the Orphanage.”</p>
<p>Iruka-sensei winces. “I heard about that. Do you want me to stay in one of the branch houses then? I just cancelled my apartment contract with my landlord, but I’m sure if I begged hard enough, she’d let me stay there for longer until we sort out what you’re comfortable with.”</p>
<p>Uchiha peers at him suspiciously. “...Okay. Do that.”</p>
<p>Suddenly Iruka-sensei’s stomach gurgles.</p>
<p>He blushes. “Ah, do you mind if we get some food first? There’s a pretty good ramen place I know.”</p>
<p>“Ichiraku’s?” Naruto bursts in eagerly.</p>
<p>“We’re not feeding you.” Uchiha says dismissively, ignoring Naruto’s cry of betrayal.</p>
<p>He begins to stride off down the path, only to turn when the teacher doesn’t follow. “Well? It’s annoying if you’re hungry.”</p>
<p>Iruka-sensei’s mouth quirks into a smile.</p>
<p>Somehow, she thinks as the teacher and boy disappear down the path, discussing one of the pranks that befell his hapless predecessor, this might turn out alright.</p>
<p>It’ll certainly be better than Anko.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Of course, it’s hardly as simple as that.</p>
<p>“He’s so <em>annoying</em>.” Uchiha says, leaning on the kitchen counter.</p>
<p>It’s a beautiful summer’s day. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming.</p>
<p>And for some reason only Robin knows, Uchiha’s in her kitchen.</p>
<p>“I tried to keep training last night, and do you know what he said?” Uchiha’s face twists into a sneer. “He said I had to <em>go to bed</em>. At <em>eight-thirty</em>.”</p>
<p>Naruto nods sympathetically as Uchiha waves his arms about in indignation. “I wasn’t even tired! I haven’t gone to bed that early since I was <em>seven</em>!”</p>
<p>“That’s nice.” She says, conscious of the fact that she goes to bed at eight. “Why are you in my house.”</p>
<p>Uchiha flaps an arm at her. “Not important.”</p>
<p>“Get out of my house then.” She tells him.</p>
<p>He shoots her a poisonous look, then sighs.</p>
<p>Uchiha heaves a large bag onto the counter and pushes it towards her. Or tries to anyway. The bag only budges an inch or so.</p>
<p>She steps forward tentatively and looks inside.</p>
<p>And promptly chokes on air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uchiha.” She says seriously. “Do you have <em>any</em> <em>idea</em> what this is?”</p>
<p>Naruto perks up at her tone, craning his head to try and see inside as well.</p>
<p>He shrugs, as though the contents are somehow <em>uninteresting</em> to him. “The label says it’s lamb.”</p>
<p>“I see that.” She says. “But do you know how much a single lamb chop costs at the market? And not even the ones that’ve been freshly imported from Kusagakure.”</p>
<p>Naruto’s brow furrows. “Is it as much as the beef steak?”</p>
<p>She shoots him a wide-eyed look, remembering the cheap, thin cuts that had ended up costing almost a month’s worth of Otou-sama and Okaa-sama’s combined salary. “<em>More</em>.”</p>
<p>Naruto’s mouth drops open, and he stares at the bag with a newfound sense of reverence.</p>
<p>Uchiha shrugs again, with the self-assured air of a child who’s never had to deal with being toldthat something he wants is too expensive. “I don’t know. It was just outside the compound this morning. I don’t know any recipes for it yet, so I figured you’d get more use out of it.”</p>
<p>She takes another moment to goggle at the huge leg of lamb sitting in the bag, cellophane wrapped and surrounded by ice.</p>
<p>She hasn’t eaten this meat since the Sunday before she died.</p>
<p>She covers her face with her hands and inhales deeply to regain her composure. “Right. Okay.”</p>
<p>She wonders if it would be easier to roast it all before carving, or if she can get away with cutting it up raw and freeze some of it for later use.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sasuke looks up from griping when she pulls out one of their sharper knives, running a whetstone over it to make sure it’s as sharp as it possibly can be.</p>
<p>She’s decided to chance it on doing the cuts raw—roasting it all in one marinade would limit the types of dishes whose flavors it could be combined with, and Sanji would never stand for that.</p>
<p>She places the meat onto a chopping board, with multiple plates for different cuts and gristle.</p>
<p><em>Sanji</em>, she prays silently. <em>Please don’t let me make a mess of this.</em></p>
<p>She carefully begins trimming off the excess fat and gristle off the piece of meat, trying to keep her cuts as neat as possible. She keeps the fat separate from the rest of the refuse for potential use as lard or flavoring.</p>
<p>It’s only once she begins following the sinews to carve a bit of meat away from a bone that’s shaped a bit like the letter “h”.</p>
<p>She deposits one of the filets onto a plate and sets about trying to carve the h-shaped bone out of the joint so she has more room to work.</p>
<p>She ends up with a bit more bone than she’d anticipated, by which she means all of them. The meat that had formerly been attached to them now sits in various unattractive gristle-and-artery-filled lumps.</p>
<p>She sighs, puts the bones to one side for stock or to roast their marrow, and begins her attack on the gristle and arteries.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How did you <em>do</em> that?” Uchiha asks, leaning away from the counter.</p>
<p>“Do what?” She frowns, looking up.</p>
<p>He waves at the bones. They’re vaguely pinkish from the fluids of the meat, but have been scraped clean of every last scrap of flesh, she’s proud to say.</p>
<p>She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ll be honest, I barely have any idea what I’m doing.”</p>
<p>Uchiha purses his lips, calculating. “So...could you do it to an opponent?”</p>
<p>She shoots him an unimpressed look. “Sure, because a squirming <em>person</em> is gonna lie as still as this and <em>let</em> me carve them up. All that’d happen is my knife would get nicked, and I’d have to get it repaired.”</p>
<p>She adopts the same reprimanding tone the teacher uses to tell her off. “Kitchen tools are for the <em>kitchen</em>, Uchiha. We don’t play around with them.”</p>
<p>Naruto snickers at Uchiha’s put-out expression as he groans. “<em>Don’t</em>. You sound just like <em>him</em>.”</p>
<p>“Is living with him really that bad?” Naruto asks, as the gristle begins piling up on the plate.</p>
<p>Uchiha’s face does something complicated. “...He’s better than Anko.”</p>
<p>“So is a goldfish.” She replies. “That’s not really a high bar to clear.”</p>
<p>“He’s better than the others too.” Uchiha allows, grudgingly. “At least he pays attention to me and asks me what <em>I</em> want. And doesn’t talk to me like I’m <em>three</em>.”</p>
<p>Naruto nods encouragingly while the lumps turn into neatish little cubes and filets.</p>
<p>“But he keeps telling me to <em>do</em> stuff.” Uchiha whines, before he tries to drop his voice to imitate the teacher’s. “Sasuke-kun, take a break. Sasuke-kun, cook something without tomatoes. Sasuke-kun, put your clothes in the laundry instead of the garbage. Sasuke-kun, take a bath this week. Sasuke-kun, stop training so hard. Sasuke-kun, be careful with that kunai. Sasuke-kun, go to bed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Do</em> you do all the cooking?” She asks, curious.</p>
<p>Uchiha shoots her a flat look. “Iruka can boil rice and grill mackerel. He said it was an achievement, because he used to make it blow up when he was younger.”</p>
<p>Naruto squints in confusion as most of the food goes into plastic containers and into the fridge while the waste goes into the bin. “The rice or the fish?”</p>
<p>Uchiha pulls a face as sweet potatoes, a red pepper, and several tomatoes appear on the counter. “I didn’t ask.”</p>
<p>She finds herself pulling out a large wok and filling the bottom with olive oil, less cumin than she would’ve liked, plenty of rosemary, and salt and pepper.</p>
<p>She heats up the oil and herb mixture, then drops in the cubed lamb that was left out. “Well, he’s probably just trying to keep you strong.” She says diplomatically, tossing the sweet potatoes and a peeler to Naruto.</p>
<p>He dutifully begins peeling.</p>
<p>“How is me going to bed at <em>eight-thirty</em> making me stronger?” Uchiha stresses, nose wrinkling.</p>
<p>She catches the potato that Naruto tosses back, cubing it and dropping it in the wok before turning to catch the second. “Well, sleep helps your brain develop. If you don’t get enough now, then you’ll be dumb later in life.”</p>
<p>Uchiha gives her a glare that’s truly <em>withering</em>. “You’ll be dumb too if you keep shying away from chakra.”</p>
<p>She frowns, flicking some juice from the pepper at him and snickering as he recoils. “Good meals and good rest make your body stronger. It helps with growth, muscle and brain development.”</p>
<p>Uchiha still looks disbelieving so she adds, “It’s why you’ll be stronger than <em>that man</em> when you get to his age.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s no sounds other than the hiss of diced tomatoes hitting the pan.</p>
<p>“<em>How</em>.” Uchiha hisses, eyes alight with obsession.</p>
<p>She briefly contemplates that that may have been the wrong thing to say as she places a lid on the wok to let the ingredients simmer and puts the rice on.</p>
<p>“Well, he’s a war criminal now, right?” She says.</p>
<p>“Missing nin.” He replies.</p>
<p>“Whatever.” She says. “Point is, <em>nobody</em> wants to work with somebody who’s done what he’s done, not even criminals. So he probably can’t get work, and doesn’t have a steady income. And Konoha has a bounty on his head, so he’s got to evade bounty hunters looking to collect on the reward constantly.”</p>
<p>“<em>And</em>?” Uchiha interrupts, eyeing her disdainfully.</p>
<p>Naruto tilts his head as the meal is stirred and tasted. “Wait.” He says. “How’s that guy gonna get food then?”</p>
<p>“Ex-<em>actly</em>.” She says proudly, nodding to him. “He can’t. He can hardly sleep either, because, y’know, bounty hunters. And I don’t <em>care</em> how good a ninja someone is, <em>no one</em> functions well on continuous food and sleep deprivation. Especially not compared to someone who’s been getting plenty of rest and three square meals a day.”</p>
<p>“<em>That man</em> doesn’t need any of <em>that</em>.” Uchiha’s voice is coated in scorn. “He’s too strong!”</p>
<p>She raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “No matter how strong he is, he’s still <em>mortal</em>. He needs to <em>eat</em> like everyone else, Uchiha.”</p>
<p>“<em>No he doesn't!</em>” Uchiha’s voice cracks on the last word.</p>
<p>Her mouth snaps shut, a reassurance about his brother potentially lying dead in a ditch somewhere suddenly seeming very unwise.</p>
<p>Uchiha stares at his clenched fists, minute tremors shaking his form.</p>
<p>Naruto reaches out slowly and grips his shoulder until the trembling stops.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wordlessly, the rice and the lamb dish is plated up.</p>
<p>She places one plate in front of Naruto and one in front of Uchiha, putting a lid on the rest for Otou-san and Okaa-san, and Gai and Lee if they end up dropping by for lunch.</p>
<p>She rummages around for chopsticks, tossing two sets to the boys and grabbing one for herself.</p>
<p>There’s a quiet murmur of “<em>itadakimasu</em>” before they all begin eating while standing up.</p>
<p>Naruto’s eyes light up. “This is really good Mayu-chan, believe it!”</p>
<p>She smiles bashfully as she chews. The lamb goes nicely with the spicier flavors, unsurprisingly, but she hadn’t known that it would work this well with the tomato.</p>
<p>Uchiha doesn’t look at her when he asks, “What’s the recipe?”</p>
<p>She’s about to rib that he <em>just</em> watched her make this in front of him, he should pay more attention to what’s happening under his nose—</p>
<p>But she’s suddenly drawing a blank.</p>
<p>What <em>did</em> she put in this?</p>
<p>There’s tomato and lamb and sweet potato and pepper, yes, but there are also some other browned pieces of meat that taste spicy-sweet when she bites into them. It compliments the lamb very well, and she’d be proud of that <em>if she could remember cooking it.</em></p>
<p>The sauce is far too liquid for the ingredients she recalls putting in the wok to have produced it, and the flavors are too complex for the few spices she added—she’s heard of foods working well together, but not to the point of carrying hints of things that weren’t <em>in</em> the dish in the first place.</p>
<p>Her chewing slows and she wonders if it would count as wasting food if she stops Naruto and Uchiha from eating any more of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m back!” Okaa-san calls.</p>
<p>Naruto burbles a “welcome back!” through his stuffed cheeks, while Uchiha just ducks his head and grunts quietly.</p>
<p>She shoves her moral dilemma to the back of her mind to avoid worrying her mother.</p>
<p>Okaa-san goes to hug Naruto, but pauses in the middle of the action.</p>
<p>She sniffs the air, inhaling deeply and wrinkling her nose. “Mayu-chan, are the windows open?”</p>
<p>She shakes her head. “No, Okaa-san.”</p>
<p>Okaa-san goes and tries the windows and the door to the back garden, and then leaves to do the same in the living room, and then upstairs.</p>
<p>She comes back into the kitchen frowning hard.</p>
<p>“None of you let anyone enter or leave while me and Otou-san and Gai-sensei were out, did you?” She asks, looking deeply troubled. “Naruto-kun, Uchiha-san?”</p>
<p>The two boys shake their heads in tandem.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong, Okaa-san?” She asks, absent-mindedly chewing another bit of lamb.</p>
<p>“It’s just—” Her mother shakes her head. “It <em>stinks</em> of cigarette smoke in here.”</p>
<p>It’s probably a good thing she’s swallowed her mouthful.</p>
<p>Otherwise her sudden coughing fit would’ve ended up wasting the mystery food and she’s suddenly pretty certain she <em>does not</em> want to do that, even on accident.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The smell’s faded a bit by the time Gai-sensei and Otou-san get home, but not enough to be unnoticeable.</p>
<p>Because apparently there’s an undercurrent of <em>brine</em> to the scent that has her sweating nervously, wondering about the power of faith and its effects on reality and whether or not she’s finally snapped and is hallucinating the whole thing.</p>
<p>Thankfully, no one aside from Naruto seems to notice her silent panic, because they’re all too busy discussing the possibility of ninja from Kiri infiltrating their house for reasons unknown.</p>
<p>Okaa-san is especially worried, because she apparently hasn’t heard from her family since they moved to Konoha.</p>
<p>This is strange, considering that her mother’s family is a merchant group that does business on nearly every shore of the continent, and one of them was bound to have figured out where they were by now.</p>
<p>Okaa-san and Otou-san debate softly over whether they should try contacting their maternal relatives to see if something’s happened as they all wait outside.</p>
<p>Meanwhile a ninja in a green jacket like Gai-sensei’s and one dressed in black that steers clear of Uchiha go through their house, looking for an intruder that seemingly appeared from and vanished into thin air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Iruka-sensei quickly arrives to take Uchiha home, with some of the lamb in plastic containers and instructions on what herbs it would be good to roast the meat with.</p>
<p>She would’ve demonstrated, but she doesn’t quite trust herself not to break down crying at the scent yet. Plus, you know, home investigation. Sort of puts a dampner on that kind of thing.</p>
<p>Even Kiba’s mum and her dog come along to join the fun.</p>
<p>The dog ducks his head to her and Naruto in greeting while Kiba’s mum flashes a toothy grin that’s a lot like her son’s.</p>
<p>That grin doesn’t last long.</p>
<p>A lot of growls begin coming from the house, and she thinks she might hear the sound of something breaking, before the dog slips out the front door and over to them.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei seems to know what’s happening, because he leans down a little so he’s on the dog’s level, holding his hands out, palm-up.</p>
<p>The dog sniffs his hands, his arms, and his chest, then moves on to Otou-san, who’s a little befuddled, but mimics Gai-sensei.</p>
<p>The dog is very careful around his bandage-less hands.</p>
<p>Then the dog moves onto Okaa-san, then Naruto, where he pauses and sniffs her best friend a little closer. Naruto giggles a little at the press of the dog’s wet nose.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She presents her own palms next.</p>
<p>The dog leans in and sniffs.</p>
<p>Then he whuffs and tells her, “Inhale through your nose and out through your mouth.”</p>
<p>She blinks in confusion, glancing at Gai-sensei, who nods encouragingly.</p>
<p>So she does as the dog asks, watching as he sniffs the air again.</p>
<p>His doggy brows draw down over his doggy eyes, and he lopes back towards the house.</p>
<p>She shifts nervously, feeling several pairs of eyes boring into her.</p>
<p>Kiba’s mum storms out after her dog within a few minutes. The woman inhales in front of her, nose twitching in a manner not dissimilar to her ninken’s.</p>
<p>“Welp.” She says. “Kid, you <em>reek</em> of that shitty scent. But you haven’t been smoking, or near any bodies of saltwater recently. Kuromaru can easily tell that.”</p>
<p>“That’s right.” Otou-san says, glancing warily between her and Kiba’s mum.</p>
<p>Kiba’s mum sighs. “Well, until Aburame gets here to do his shit, best we can tell is that this fucker somehow infiltrated and stuck to your daughter like creepy, perverted glue before vanishing like a fucking spirit.”</p>
<p>Okaa-san reaches out to grab her shoulder, face twisted at more than just Kiba’s mom’s profanity. “Should we consider alternate lodging for the night? Just in case the—the intruder comes back?”</p>
<p>Kiba’s mum shrugs. “Got anywhere that you can stay?”</p>
<p>Okaa-san bites her lip. Otou-san rubs the back of his neck as he thinks.</p>
<p>“I would gladly lend my living quarters to you should you need it, Chie-san, Jirou-san!” Gai-sensei exclaims.</p>
<p>Both of her parents go dark pink and begin stuttering about how they couldn’t <em>possibly</em> intrude on his living space like that, they wouldn’t want to cause any <em>trouble</em>—</p>
<p>“Gai, you live in the Jounin Quarters.” Kiba’s mum says, one eyebrow raised. “You can’t even keep a dog in those apartments.”</p>
<p>Gai-sensei pouts at that, so she volunteers, “I could always sleep over with Naruto so there’s more space, or we could see if Sakura and her parents could have us?”</p>
<p>Okaa-san looks considering, but Otou-san purses his lips. “Would they be able to defend themselves and escape unharmed if the intruder followed us?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But what if it wasn’t an intruder?” Naruto pipes up. “What if it was Sanji?”</p>
<p>A cold sweat breaks out on the back of her neck.</p>
<p>Kiba’s mum looks over to her so fast she’s surprised the woman doesn’t get whiplash.</p>
<p>“That name mean anything to you, kid?” She says, far too casually to really be casual.</p>
<p>She shifts under the sensation of eyes again. “‘S a character from a comic I like. One Piece. He’s a pirate chef.”</p>
<p>She hears the smack of a hand meeting a face, and her mother muttering, “of course he is”.</p>
<p>Kiba’s mum raises an eyebrow. “Never heard of <em>that</em> comic before. And I coulda sworn that Kiba has copies of damn near every series in Fire Country. Know where he could get a copy of this one?”</p>
<p>“No.” She says, trying to make her voice smooth and confident like Robin’s would be, and stop it from quivering like Usopp’s. “It’s been a long time since I last read it. I haven’t been able to find any copies in recent years.”</p>
<p>Kiba’s mum nods, like this is perfectly reasonable. “Shame. And this Sanji character—you like him?”</p>
<p>“He’s my favorite.” She mumbles, cheeks flaming.</p>
<p>“Yeah! He’s really strong, but he only fights with his feet because he needs to protect his hands, believe it!” Naruto enthuses. “And he smokes cigarettes all the time, and he can cook a ten course meal with barely <em>any</em> ingredients, and he’s super smart and sneaky. He’s kinda useless about girls though, believe it.”</p>
<p>She grimaces, commiserating. “Yeah, he falls in love with every pretty girl he sees and refuses to hurt them, even if one’s his opponent. It’s kinda annoying, but he’d be too cool if he wasn’t dumb in some way, so, eh.” She shrugs her shoulders.</p>
<p>Then she makes the mistake of looking up at Otou-san and Okaa-san and Gai-sensei.</p>
<p>The expression on their faces can only be called <em>knowing</em>, and it makes her want to run inside and curl up in her bed and never come out again, ever.</p>
<p>She almost doesn’t hear it when Kiba’s mum asks, “You’ve never met anyone who matches this description in real life?”</p>
<p>She shakes her head. “Of course not. He doesn’t exist here, after all.”</p>
<p>Then the adults stiffen, and she gets the vague impression that she’s said something she shouldn’t have.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She and Naruto are sent back into the house with Kuromaru-san.</p>
<p>She turns back and sees Kiba’s mum discussing something very seriously with her parents and Gai-sensei before Kuromaru-san whuffs and shepherds her into the house with his wet nose.</p>
<p>It feels very ticklish, and she has to stifle slightly hysterical giggles.</p>
<p>“Hey Mayu-chan.” Naruto mutters as they climb the stairs. “How come you said Sanji doesn’t exist here?”</p>
<p>She blinks.</p>
<p>Ah.</p>
<p>Um.</p>
<p>“Be-because he doesn’t. He exists in the world of One Piece, but that world and this world are two separate things. That’s all.” She’s momentarily thankful to all those essays she had to write for her major which allowed her to BS on her feet like this.</p>
<p>There’s a snort from the dog behind her. “It’s not a question of existence if he’s a comic book character. He’s fictional, he’s not alive.”</p>
<p>She does not point out that technically Kuromaru-san and Naruto are <em>also</em> fictional comic book characters and therefore should not be alive by the dog’s logic.</p>
<p>They end up sitting in her room, safely out of the way of the investigation, waving at the ninja who walk past the door and occasionally pulling faces at them when Kuromaru-san isn’t looking.</p>
<p>The ninja in green with something in his mouth pulls faces right back, and it becomes a sort of challenge to see who can go the longest without getting caught.</p>
<p>Kuromaru-san bares the whole ordeal with remarkably good grace, all things considered.</p>
<p>They soon grow tired of this game and of waiting with nothing to do, and end up curled up on her bed to doze in the late afternoon sun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nothing is found.</p>
<p>Even Shino’s dad is stumped, his insects buzzing aimlessly around the house in search of something that’s not there.</p>
<p>It’s decided that they may as well stay in the house for the moment, because there’s nothing to suggest that whoever-it-was is limited by geographic location.</p>
<p>For some reason, everyone keeps looking at her when they say that.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei takes the time to set up lots of traps around every window and doorway to ensure the house is well protected before he walks Naruto home.</p>
<p>Otou-san and Okaa-san insist on her sleeping with them in the big bed that night.</p>
<p>She waits until she can hear them breathing softly in sleep.</p>
<p><em>Sanji</em>, she prays silently. <em>If that was you helping me out earlier, then thank you very, very much for your assistance. The meal was really, really delicious and I’m honored I got to cook with you. But, maybe, if it’s not too much trouble, could you maybe be a little bit sneakier if you honor me with your help again? Like when you were Mister Prince, because Otou-san and Okaa-san and Gai-sensei got really freaked out when they thought someone broke in. Thank you for everything again. I think you’re amazing, no matter what Zoro says.</em></p>
<p>She could swear she hears a gentle chuckle as she falls asleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Otou-san insists on walking her to training with Gai-sensei the next morning.</p>
<p>It’s a nice gesture, but he’s clearly not used to rising so early, shuffling alongside her with sleep in his eyes and trying to cover his yawns.</p>
<p>They get there in time to spot Gai-sensei kneeling down and talking very seriously to Naruto and Lee about something.</p>
<p>When he spots them, he straightens quickly, waving a hand. “Ah, Mayu-chan, Jirou-san! Perfect timing!”</p>
<p>He claps a hand on Otou-san’s shoulder that almost has her father falling over, and ruffles her hair quickly. “I was just about to tell Naruto-kun and Lee, I’m leaving Konoha for a mission today.”</p>
<p>“Today?” Otou-san says, blinking himself a little more awake.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei gives him a serious look, nodding once. Then his face suddenly brightens as he turns to the three of them. “I expect to be gone for around two or three weeks. In the meantime, I expect you all to continue your most youthful training as you would under me! If there is anything you are having trouble with, do not hesitate to reach out to the other shinobi of the village! They are your comrades and will surely help you blossom into the springtime of your youth!”</p>
<p>“Yes, Gai-sensei!” Lee cries, as she and Naruto nod along with him. “We hope your mission goes well and will await your most youthful return!”</p>
<p>“Lee!”</p>
<p>“Gai-sensei!”</p>
<p>“<em>Lee</em>!”</p>
<p>“<em>Gai-sensei</em>!”</p>
<p>This exchange continues for quite a while, before Otou-san has to say his goodbyes so he can stumble back to bed, and they begin their last training session under Gai-sensei for a while.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Something’s going on.</p>
<p>It’s been a week since Gai-sensei’s departure, but she can tell something...odd is happening.</p>
<p>And nobody but her seems willing to acknowledge it.</p>
<p>She and Naruto were already practically attached at the hip, but it feels like he’s with her everywhere she goes now. <em>He’s</em> waiting outside <em>her</em> door in the mornings before training instead of the other way round, and he and Lee walk her home after, before going their separate ways to wash up before breakfast.</p>
<p>And when Naruto <em>isn’t</em> available to go with her somewhere, Lee or Kiba or Hinata or Shino or Sauke pop up with suspicious frequency to walk with her instead.</p>
<p>And she wouldn’t <em>mind</em> it—they’re her friends, after all, she does enjoy spending time with them—but they always seem so...<em>distracted</em> while they’re doing it. Like they’re spending all the time constantly on alert for something else. Hinata in particular seems to be staring at things so hard sometimes that it makes the veins around her eyes <em>bulge</em> a bit.</p>
<p>The poor girl always needs to have a sit-down in a shady area with a hand or cool cloth over her eyes after that.</p>
<p>And when she asks them about it, every last one of them acts like they have no idea what she’s talking about.</p>
<p>Even Naruto and Lee.</p>
<p>That hurts a bit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To add insult to injury, there’s now a stalker following her around.</p>
<p>Well, a slightly more overt one than the masks.</p>
<p>Maybe she’s just being paranoid, but it feels like every time she leaves the house, there’s this creepy one-eyed old man who appears wherever she goes.</p>
<p>He’s always far away, and his head seems to be wrapped in something so she can never get a good look at his face.</p>
<p>But she’ll be minding her own business and then the hairs on the back of her neck will prickle, and she’ll look up and <em>see</em> him there. Not always watching her. Usually pretending to be absorbed in another task.</p>
<p>But whenever she tries to get away from him by going somewhere else, he always pops up again at her new location like a damn jack-in-the-box, just as innocuously invasive as before.</p>
<p>It’s like a reverse Pandaman, where instead of trying to find him, she just wants the creepy old man to <em>go away</em>.</p>
<p>It’s enough to make her long for a good can of pepper spray.</p>
<p>And what’s worse is nobody else seems to notice him. When she tries to point him out to Naruto or Lee or whoever is with her, they always squint and stare and tell her they can’t see any weird old man. And he’s always moved from where she was pointing to somewhere else, making her question her own sanity.</p>
<p>Hinata sees him exactly <em>once</em>. They both agree to go back to Mayu’s house, which is the one place she’s reliably sure he won’t follow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s only once her mother sits her, Naruto, and Lee down to have a <em>discussion</em> that she works out what this is about.</p>
<p>Well, what the “having-an-escort-practically-everywhere-she-goes” thing is about.</p>
<p>The creepy old man remains a creepy old mystery.</p>
<p>Okaa-san sits across the table from them, frown severe. “Now, once you’re all shinobi, you’ll bestrong enough to defend yourselves even from adults with the right training. But in the meantime, you need to know how to avoid confrontations with adults who mean you harm.”</p>
<p>Lee nods rapidly while Naruto just stares at her mother, gaze focused and determined.</p>
<p>She’s just getting the strangest sense of deja vu.</p>
<p>And then her mother opens her mouth and says, “If an adult you don’t know tells you that either me, Otou-san or Gai-sensei want you to go with them, never just follow them blindly. If we <em>do</em> send someone to go get you, we will <em>always</em> tell them the answer to a specific, secret question that the three of you know. If they do not know the answer to this question, try and get away from them and to a safe adult as fast as you can.”</p>
<p>Oh.</p>
<p><em>Oh</em>.</p>
<p>Oh dear Vivi, she <em>knows</em> this talk.</p>
<p>She <em>remembers</em> this talk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What if the adult is wearing a forehead protector of the village?” Lee asks, pointing to his own forehead.</p>
<p>“Even then, don’t just follow them.” Okaa-san says. “After all, an enemy ninja can change their shape to disguise themselves as one from this village. And if someone you know begins acting strangely, try asking them about something only the two of you know about. If they can’t answer it, do whatever you have to to get away.”</p>
<p>Lee gasps, shock on his little face, as though the idea of such trickery and treachery has blown his entire mind.</p>
<p>Luffy have mercy on her. It’s taking all her strength to keep herself from laughing.</p>
<p>Somehow, she manages to choke out. “W-what will the question we use be?”</p>
<p>Okaa-san shoots her a mildly reproving look, so she’s not doing as good a job as she thought keeping the laughter off her face. “That’s for you three to decide. However, it’s best that it’s not something that’s common knowledge, or that someone could figure out by observing you.”</p>
<p>Naruto’s brow furrows. “What about the color of Gai-sensei’s tortoises? The ones that visited us, while...”</p>
<p>She nods. “That’s a good idea. And since a different tortoise visited each of us, an imposter couldn’t just learn one color and repeat it to all of us.”</p>
<p>Okaa-san looks a little confused, but soldiers on admirably to tell them about yelling “fire” and causing a fuss to get others’ attention, to not to follow strange adults who claim to have their favorite foods, or will let them meet their favorite characters, or tell them they <em>are</em> their favorite characters.</p>
<p>Her mother pins her with an intense stare during all this, so she’s left with no doubts about <em>who</em> this entire spiel directed towards.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The summer break comes to an end.</p>
<p>It feels like their class has gotten smaller again as they trail into the large upper year classroom. Ami’s not there, for one thing, and neither are her two closest cronies, though there still are plenty of girls who swoon and squabble over Uchiha.</p>
<p>When she asks Ino about it, the blonde girl shrugs. “Maybe she couldn’t make the cut on exams and dropped out? It’s not uncommon for kids from civilian families.”</p>
<p>The explanation makes sense, so she tries to push the nagging feeling of <em>wrong</em> and <em>weird</em> to the back of her mind.</p>
<p>It’s easier to do when Iruka-sensei walks into class and introduces himself, beaming at everyone but throwing in a small wave for Uchiha.</p>
<p>The way Uchiha’s face freezes with embarrassed outrage and betrayal, when even <em>she’d</em> known Iruka-sensei was going to be their teacher this year, is second only to the face he made when he first met Gai-sensei.</p>
<p>She doesn’t bother to stifle her chuckles when Uchiha thunks his head down on the desk and refuses to raise it for the entire lesson.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sakura and Chouji are acting strangely.</p>
<p>In Sakura’s case, her behavior has become weird mixture between dainty and assertive. She’ll cover her mouth when she laughs, now a strange high-pitched sound that Mayu thinks is supposed to sound “cute” but instead just sounds kinda squeaky.</p>
<p>Sakura arranges herself to take up as little space as possible when she sits and stands, walks with tiny, mincing steps, and tosses her now shoulder-length hair more than seems practical.</p>
<p>She’s also begun not-so-subtly edging away from Ino, and ignores Kiba and Naruto entirely unless it’s to scold them for being too noisy.</p>
<p>Hurt always flashes across Ino’s face when this happens, though she’s quick to bury it under a veneer of carefree cheerfulness.</p>
<p>Kiba and Naruto just look like kicked puppies, all wide bewildered eyes asking what they’ve done wrong and treading carefully to avoid causing more offense.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thankfully Chouji’s not quite as bad as Sakura.</p>
<p>At least not in terms of “maybe replaced by a pod person who is unnecessarily mean”.</p>
<p>She <em>does</em> worry that he might have come down with a bout of summer flu or something though.</p>
<p>Every time she sees him, there always seems to be a vivid pink flush in his cheeks, like he’s got a temperature.</p>
<p>He also keeps stuttering at the start of his sentences, like he’s so out of it he’s caught off guard every time he’s addressed.</p>
<p>She’s tried asking if he feels alright, and seeing if his forehead feels hot, but he stubbornly insists he’s fine even though his flush always deepens into a worrisome dark red.</p>
<p>Shikamaru keeps snickering under his breath at Chouji’s condition. She tells him it’s not nice to laugh at sick people, only for him to snort and begin laughing harder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gai-sensei comes back the weekend after the Academy starts back up again.</p>
<p>They’ve all just started breakfast when the front door bursts open.</p>
<p>“<em>I’M HOME!!</em>” Comes the booming cry from the hallway.</p>
<p>Lee’s on his feet immediately, running for the door with Naruto and Otou-san hot on his heels.</p>
<p>She and Okaa-san look at each other and smile as they begin wordlessly fixing up an extra place and plate at the table.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei looks only slightly worse for wear, small bags beginning under his eyes, and he collapses into the chair and falls upon the rice and grilled mackerel and miso with appreciative gusto.</p>
<p>Breakfast is a noisy affair, with Naruto and Lee badgering Gai-sensei for any details of his mission that aren’t classified and many different exclamations of youth.</p>
<p>But when she tries to get up to help Okaa-san clear the table, Gai-sensei looks at her with...something complicated in his eyes. “Mayu-chan, could you sit down?”</p>
<p>The noise of the kitchen pauses for a moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sits back down.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei drums his fingers on the table. She’s never seen him fidget before.</p>
<p>“Mayu-chan, you remember that comic you liked? One Piece?” Gai-sensei asks, tone serious. “Where did you first read it?”</p>
<p>“It was a long, long time ago.” She replies. “I don’t remember where.”</p>
<p>Gai-sensei’s face looks sad. Like she’s disappointed him somehow.</p>
<p>It makes her feel sick.</p>
<p>“My mission took me all over the elemental nations.” Gai-sensei tells her, quietly. “From Iron to Kiri, to Yuki and Kusa, everywhere before I was able to come back to Konoha. I stopped in a lot of bookstores and libraries on my trip—practically one for every nation.”</p>
<p>Her palms are sweating, and her mouth has gone dry.</p>
<p>Don’t. Please, don’t.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei doesn’t hear her silent plea. “I could not find one copy of the series known as One Piece in any nation. No bookseller or librarian from here to Iron has ever heard of a story about pirates who fly under a straw hat flag.”</p>
<p>He leans forward, earnest. “Mayu-chan. Where did you read that story? Who told you it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She inhales, breath shuddering.</p>
<p>When had she stopped breathing? She doesn’t know.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to be scared.” Otou-san says, his voice impossibly gentle as he stands behind Gai-sensei. “You’re <em>safe</em> here, Mayu—we’ll protect you.”</p>
<p>Okaa-san, moves to his other side, eyes dark and wet. “We just want to know you’re safe, sweetheart, that no one’s taking advantage of you. And we can’t know that unless you tell us the <em>truth</em>. <em>Please</em>, Mayu.”</p>
<p>Her lips part but no sound comes out. What can she say?</p>
<p>Can she really keep lying to them after all this?</p>
<p>She starts as a warm hand slides over her cold, sweaty one, giving her palm a gentle squeeze.</p>
<p>Naruto smiles at her, big blue eyes both fearful and hopeful. Lee stands behind him, lower lip trembling but spine straight, and gives her a thumbs up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She turns on all the taps.</p>
<p>It’s a waste of water, but the rushing liquid that thunders into the sinks drowns out a lot of sound. She shuts all the windows and doors to the outside just to be sure, before going upstairs and repeating the process.</p>
<p>Then she shuts the doors to the other rooms of the house, shepherding everyone out of the kitchen into the front hallway.</p>
<p>As a last precaution, she darts upstairs to grab her rain coat, her winter coat, and her summer yukata, then quickly goes back down to place each of these items along the bottoms of the front door, the kitchen door, and the living room door.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei and Okaa-sama are watching her with a wary look on their faces. Like they think she’s been replaced by an imposter or something.</p>
<p>Otou-sama, Lee, and Naruto just look hopelessly confused by her behavior. They still seem to think she’s <em>her</em> though.</p>
<p>She sits down on the stairs, facing them. She takes a moment to stare hard at their faces, trying to absorb every detail as they are now.</p>
<p>She’s...relatively sure they’ll still love her after this, but.</p>
<p>But.</p>
<p>She takes a fortifying breath.</p>
<p>“There’s something I need to tell you all.” Ketsugi Mayu says.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Surprisingly, Lee wraps his head around the idea of reincarnation from another world the easiest.</p>
<p>“It’s like when children at the Orphanage are adopted.” He explains blithely. “The parents who take them away give them new names, so you can’t ask to visit or see how Shinpachi is doing anymore, but the person who was known as Shinpachi still exists. He just has a new life with a new name somewhere far away.”</p>
<p>There’s a moment of contemplative and slightly horrified silence.</p>
<p>“Huh.” She says. “I-I guess it is kinda like that. I am <em>Mayu</em>, I just...remember being someone else before that. Somewhere very, very different.”</p>
<p>“Mayu—” Her mother pinches the bridge of her nose. “How-how do you know that this—this <em>other world</em> even exists?”</p>
<p>Well, she’d known they’d need proof to believe her, one way or another. Hopefully this will be complex enough that it should suffice.</p>
<p>She takes a deep breath.</p>
<p>«It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the will of the fight, risin’ up to the challenge of our rival. And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night, and he’s watching us all with the eeeeeyyyyyyeee—of the tiger.»</p>
<p>Naruto grins. “Hey, it’s the singy thing!”</p>
<p>Lee gives a little round of applause. “You have a very nice voice, Mayu-chan!”</p>
<p>She tries not to blush and fails miserably.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gai-sensei nods. “A most youthful tune, Mayu-chan. But do the sounds have any meaning?”</p>
<p>“Wait just a moment.”</p>
<p>All eyes turn to her father, whose head is hanging down, hair bracketing his eyes.</p>
<p>“Those sounds...aren’t they...”</p>
<p>She feels a drop of sweat slide down the back of her neck. Otou-san <em>is</em> the second son of a samurai clan after all; it’s no surprise that he can recognize a foreign language just by hear—</p>
<p>“They’re the noises you used to make when you were a little baby!!” Her father yells, pointing a dramatic finger at her.</p>
<p>“NO!!” She yells back, cheeks aflame. “Well, actually, yes, they kinda were, but they weren’t just baby noises!!”</p>
<p>Okaa-san gasps, pressing a hand to her cheek. “Dear, I can’t believe I couldn’t remember! You were so <em>sweet</em>, Mayu-chan, always going ‘<em>aa dun uda’sta oo</em>’.”</p>
<p>“That’s because I was trying to say «I don’t understand you»!” She groans, covering her eyes. “I didn’t understand this language back then! I just wanted to know what was going on!”</p>
<p>“Hey, hey, Mayu’s Tou-san,” Naruto says, eyes sparkling with mischief. “What was Mayu’s first word?”</p>
<p>Her father exhales and strokes his chin while looking off into the distance with a nostalgic twinkle in his eye. “Well, let’s see. She would’ve been about twenty months old or so—”</p>
<p>“IS NOW REALLY THE TIME FOR THIS STORY?!” She cuts in desperately. “I’m trying to prove the existence of <em>another world</em> by showing that I know a language that no one in this world has ever heard of and is far too insane for anyone with a <em>brain</em> to have made up!”</p>
<p>“Insane?” Says Lee, tilting his head in confusion.</p>
<p>“English is the pirate of languages.” She mutters darkly. “It goes around and beats up other languages and steals their words.”</p>
<p>“Is there anything about your past life that’s <em>not</em> related to pirates?!” Okaa-san asks, exasperation evident in her tone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I <em>like</em> pirates.” She says, hurt.</p>
<p>Her mother shoots her an unamused look. “Ketsugi Mayu...”</p>
<p>She holds up her hands in surrender. “Pirates were kinda mythical in my past life by the time I was alive. There <em>were</em> historical ones, but people romanticized them a lot. Like ninja.”</p>
<p>“What?! How dare they, that’s really rude, believe it!” Naruto fumes, crossing his arms. “...Kaa-san, what’s rom-an-ti-sized mean anyway?”</p>
<p>“It means they make up stories about them to make them seem...nicer.” Okaa-san explains. “Usually by pretending they aren’t as violent as they really are.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Naruto thinks about this. “That’s dumb. Ninja are already cool, they don’t need to be <em>nice</em>.”</p>
<p>“Pirates are cooler.” She says.</p>
<p>“They are <em>not</em>—”</p>
<p>“<em>Don’t start</em>.” Her mother says in her scary week-long-ban-from-cooking voice.</p>
<p>“Yes Okaa-san.” They chorus.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But wait.” Lee’s now frowning. “If the only ninja are historical, then how did countries in your past life defend themselves?”</p>
<p>“With armies of soldiers. Normal ones.” She replies. “ Though those might be replaced by flying robot drones by now. There used to be ninja in Japan—may still be even if only in name—but there wasn’t anything like chakra in my past life, so we developed technologically to fight each other instead. Now the world’s kinda in a stalemate peace because we’ve developed so far that the planet will become unable to support human life if we ever go all out.”</p>
<p>Lee stares at her, then drops his head, fists trembling in his lap.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei presses a hand to his shoulder. “Lee.”</p>
<p>She grows alarmed as tears begin to drip off of her friend’s face. Oh shit, she hadn’t meant to insult his dream. “Hey, Lee—”</p>
<p>“Mayu-chan.” His voice is surprisingly steady. “Did you mean everything you said? You aren’t making anything up?”</p>
<p>She hesitates but shakes her head, mouth twisting in consternation. “Yes. I did mean it. Lee, I’m sorry—”</p>
<p>Suddenly his arms shoot up in the air, fists still clenched. When he raises his head, his tears are sliding around a wide and dazzling grin.</p>
<p>“There’s a world of ninja without chakra.” He whispers, tone awed. “They don’t need chakra to become strong. To become <em>ninja</em>.”</p>
<p>Gai-sensei beams back and ruffles Lee’s hair into a haystack. “Of course! A youthful spirit and the willingness to work hard are what truly make a ninja!”</p>
<p>“And our Lee has that in spades.” Okaa-san says fondly, smoothing some of the now-haystack back into place. “You’ll be a fine ninja, I’m sure of it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lee sniffs noisily. “Gai-sensei, Chie-oba-san...!”</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Naruto throws his arm over Lee’s shoulders. “An’ then you an’ me an’ Mayu-chan are gonna be on a kickass ninja team together, believe it!”</p>
<p>“I’m gonna be a pirate.” She interjects staunchly.</p>
<p>Naruto pouts at her for a moment, before he brightens again. “Fine then! <em>Sakura-chan</em> can be our third teammate, and Mayu’ll be the pirate mascot!”</p>
<p>“Sakura-chan?” Lee cries eagerly.</p>
<p>“<em>Pirate mascot</em>?!” She echoes indignantly.</p>
<p>Naruto sticks his tongue out at her triumphantly while her father and Gai-sensei turn away to muffle what sounds suspiciously like laughter.</p>
<p>She folds her arms and scowls at the stair in front of her while her mother pats her head consolingly.</p>
<p>Otou-san manages to get his chuckles under control enough to place a hand upon her and Lee’s shoulders. “We’ll always be very proud of you all, whether you’re a pirate mascot—” He fails to hide his snickering under her disapproving gaze, “—or a ninja. We just want you to be happy.”</p>
<p>“Jirou-oji-san!” Lee sniffs, eyes refilling with tears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It takes another five minutes to get Lee and Gai-sensei to stop crying and hugging everyone in reach.</p>
<p>This is only exacerbated by the fact that her parents lose all rational sense and begin blushing and stuttering helplessly when they’re caught in Gai-sensei’s embrace.</p>
<p>Once everyone’s calmed down a bit, Naruto turns to her again. “So if this world was a story in your past life, does that mean you know the future, or any super cool jutsus?”</p>
<p>“No.” She says. “Because I never read that comic. I only ever read One Piece and argued with idiots who tried to say that that comic was better, which it obviously <em>wasn’t</em>.”</p>
<p>Her mother rolls her eyes at her as she lies, “I don’t even remember what that series was called, or any of the characters from it.”</p>
<p>Naruto narrows his eyes at her. “Then how’d you know you were here?” He fires back.</p>
<p>She stares at him as placidly as possible. He’s her best friend in this world—practically her brother in all but name. Lee is too, and Gai-sensei may as well be a third parent by this point.</p>
<p>She’s afraid of dying again, but she thinks that if it were for this family right here, her family, she’d face it with the kind of smile that only a D could muster.</p>
<p>She refuses to sentence Naruto to a miserable life of second-guessing and unearned guilt over things that he couldn’t possibly control.</p>
<p>Not this time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Usopp, Nami and Robin give her the conviction to make this lie believable.</em>
</p>
<p>“The Hokage Monument.” She tells them smoothly. “It was in the background of almost every panel that idiots who liked the comic would try to show me. I didn’t remember where I recognized it from until I was about four years old though.”</p>
<p>Naruto doesn’t quite look convinced at first, but his expression becomes more accepting as he mulls it over.</p>
<p>Lee, bless him, just nods along trustingly.</p>
<p>Okaa-san tilts her head and stares at her with unnerving scrutiny.</p>
<p>Otou-san touches her mother’s arm, an eyebrow raised in concern, only for his wife to shake her head almost absent-mindedly.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei’s nose twitches.</p>
<p>She holds her breath.</p>
<p>His face breaks out into his usual beam. “I see! So the Will of Fire blazes strongly even in other worlds!”</p>
<p>She exhales, sending a mental thank you to the Rational Trio. “Yes. Any other questions?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did you have a family in your past life?” Lee asks.</p>
<p>She flinches.</p>
<p>“Ah.” Lee’s smile is sad and understanding. “It’s okay if you didn’t—”</p>
<p>“I know it is.” She cuts in, grin feeling stilted. “It’s just—they weren’t anything to special. My Dad was a businessman and pretty strict. My Mum was a housewife and very spiritual. Kinda boring overall.”</p>
<p>Lee nods again, though he looks a little confused.</p>
<p>Okaa-san and Otou-san look...hurt.</p>
<p>She wants to hug them, but there’s a little part of her that whispers that doing so would be a betrayal. She forces herself to turn to a nicer topic.</p>
<p>“I did have a little brother, Harp.” She smiles to herself. “He’s a good kid, you guys would’ve loved him. He’s wizard at doing presentations and performances and things like that, really makes it easy to understand and believe what he’s saying, you know? He’s gonna be a famous actor when he grows up, or a politician, some really great speaker once—”</p>
<p>She freezes. “<em>Shit</em>.”</p>
<p>“Language!” Okaa-san says, but she barely hears her, knuckles white as her nails dig into her knees.</p>
<p>“I didn’t make a will.” She rasps. “I never made—and now they’ll get it all. They’ll take everything, and he’ll still be trapped.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who will take everything?” Otou-san says, steely-eyed and serious. “Mayu, was someone you were related to <em>threatening</em> your family?”</p>
<p>She shakes her head. “Not—not threatening, exactly. S’just.” She makes an abortive movement with her hands. “Living with Mum and Dad was...not good. For me or Harp. They never got on with each other, and both of them were disappointed in us in their own way—anyway.”</p>
<p>“No, why were they disappointed?” Okaa-san says, eyes blazing. “I want to know what they thought was wrong with my little girl.”</p>
<p>“Okaa-san—” She tries to say, flattery and embarrassment warring inside her.</p>
<p>“Nothing’s wrong with Mayu-chan!” Lee interrupts, little chest puffed out. “She’s fine the way she is!”</p>
<p>“Lee—”</p>
<p>“Except that she does curry too spicy.” Naruto cuts in. “And argues with the Academy teachers a lot. But that’s not disappointing, believe it!”</p>
<p>She’s torn between the overwhelming desire to kick him in the shins and give him a great big hug.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei gives what, for him, counts as a discrete cough. “While I’m sure we can agree that Mayu-chan is one of the farthest things from disappointing there is, I believe you were in the process of explaining your dilemma?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right.” She tries to will her cheeks to stop burning.</p>
<p>“Well, I had some money saved up so I could try to get Harp out—hire a good lawyer and see if, while Mum and Dad’s divorce was finalized, I could win custody so he’d get to live with me.”</p>
<p>“What’s divorce?” Lee asks.</p>
<p>“It’s when two people who are married decide they don’t want to be married anymore.” She explains. “So they go to a court of law to make it so they officially aren’t, and each person gets part of what they both owned.”</p>
<p>Naruto gasps, like the idea is somehow shocking to him. To be fair to him, the adults look equally scandalized, so she guesses that’s not exactly a common practice here. “You can <em>do</em> that?! But why? I thought married people were supposed to love each other forever.”</p>
<p>“Usually they do.” She says wearily. “But sometimes people fall out of love, or one person is hurt by the other, or both misunderstand the person they got married to. Dad thought a woman like my Mum would be very business-focused like he wanted. Mum thought a man like my Dad would be very spiritually enlightened like <em>she</em> wanted.”</p>
<p>Naruto looks confused but considering, so she moves on.</p>
<p>“Anyway, I had a lot of money saved up, but because I died without leaving anything that said how I wanted it to be used, Mum and Dad will take all of it, or at least argue over who should get the most of it in the divorce.” She clenches her fists. “And Harp’ll never see a penny.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mayu-chan.” Naruto’s voice wavers slightly. “Did you not love your parents?”</p>
<p>For an awful moment, she’s struck by the paralyzing urge to say “No”.</p>
<p>Then the horror and guilt settle in her gut again like undercooked food and make her feel like she’s going to choke on bile.</p>
<p>“Wh—of course I loved them!” She sputters indignantly. “They were my <em>Mum</em> and <em>Dad</em>. You’ve <em>got</em> to love your Mum and Dad.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay if you didn’t!” Naruto holds up his hands placatingly. “They just don’t sound very nice! You said that they said you were a disappointment! And you didn’t want your little brother to be with them!”</p>
<p>He and Lee are staring at her wide-eyed, as if waiting for her to snap at them again. The same way Naruto and Kiba look around Sakura these days.</p>
<p>She takes a deep breath and tries to make her voice softer, gentler. “I’m sorry for yelling. It’s just, sometimes, you can love someone and know when they’re not very good at something, or in a position that they and other people aren’t happy they’re in. I <em>did</em> love my Mum and Dad, but they are the last people in that world I’d trust with a kid. It wasn’t their fault, but I thought if I could get Harp out, let him grow up happy—”</p>
<p>She shakes her head, worrying the scar on her lower lip.</p>
<p>She’d promised him she’d get him out.</p>
<p>She’d <em>promised</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How old were you?” Her father asks, voice low. “When...?”</p>
<p>She can’t bring herself to look at him, but he sounds weary down to his very bones.</p>
<p>“I was twenty years old.” She says to the stair in front of her.</p>
<p>“Is that.” Her mother hesitates for a moment. “Is that an old age to die at? Among the people of that world.”</p>
<p>She makes a face. “Nah. I’d been an adult for two years in the eyes of the law, but most people in my past life could expect to live until their lates eighties or nineties before dying of natural causes.”</p>
<p>She hears Gai-sensei whisper “<em>late eighties or nineties</em>” to himself in a tone filled with something like wonder.</p>
<p>It’s that wonder which spurs her to look up and say, “In fact, if you manage to live to your hundredth birthday, the Queen sends you a card wishing you a happy birthday and congratulating you. I had a friend whose great grandma got one.”</p>
<p>Only Gai-sensei looks as amazed by this information as she’d hoped they’d all be. Lee’s trying to muster up the same enthusiasm as their teacher, but he can’t quite. Naruto looks more confused than anything.</p>
<p>Otou-san and Okaa-san are just staring at her like they don’t recognize her.</p>
<p>It hurts too much to hold their gaze.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How’d you die?” Naruto asks. “Were you fighting a bad guy?”</p>
<p>She rubs the back of her neck. “Not really. A man broke into the flat. I grabbed a knife. He freaked out and his gun went off. He said it was an <em>accident</em>.”</p>
<p>She hisses the last word with all the venom it deserves.</p>
<p>She doesn’t understand anymore why the One Piece anime tried to censor Belle-mere’s death by changing it from a headshot to a bullet to the chest.</p>
<p>A headshot is quick and painless, at least.</p>
<p>She’s so caught up in her own memories that she doesn’t hear her father’s question. “Pardon?”</p>
<p>“What was your name?” Otou-san’s voice is soft and understanding, even though his eyes are pitying.</p>
<p>“...The girl who died was called Tamara Kaur. Her friends called her Tammy or Tim-Tam for short.” She says, a mournful grin on her face. “My name is Ketsugi Mayu. I’ll be in your care, if you’ll have me.”</p>
<p>The quiet that follows this statement, half joke and half plea, is enough to make whatever hopes she was still desperately clinging to crumble like a sandcastle in the face of the tide.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There aren’t many more questions after that.</p>
<p>Aside from the pointed conversation that began with “so if the person Naruto mentioned really <em>was</em> a comic character, then who was the home invader?” and ended with her exasperated mother asking “What do you <em>mean</em>, you ‘accidentally created divinity’?”</p>
<p>She winces. “Kinda that? I just, I was praying to them for normal stuff, and then that day I prayed for help with cutting the lamb and ended up with an entire meal I didn’t remember cooking.”</p>
<p>Okaa-san stares at her for a long moment before burying her head in her hands. She makes a noise Mayu thinks might be a sob.</p>
<p>Otou-san pats her back awkwardly and shoots her what she thinks is meant to be a reassuring smile. “Your Kaa-san’s fine. She just...needs a moment.”</p>
<p>“So it <em>was</em> Sanji?” Naruto whispers to her.</p>
<p>She nods rapidly.</p>
<p>Naruto’s face splits into a grin so wide his eyes almost close. “<em>Awesome</em>.”</p>
<p>“<em>I know</em>.” She whispers back, hardly able to keep from smiling herself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Okaa-san sends her to turn off all the taps and hang her clothes back up upstairs.</p>
<p>She supposes she has wasted enough water for one day.</p>
<p>She blinks in the mid-afternoon sun when she opens the door to her bedroom, ignoring the masks that are all but pressed against the shut window more out of habit at this point.</p>
<p>She feels too drained to even feel alarmed by their proximity to her home. Talking about her Mum and Dad always did that to her, even when she was in the same world as them.</p>
<p>A phantom hunger pang pierces her stomach.</p>
<p>She shudders at the memory. Oh Luffy, she hopes Harp got out quickly, that he didn’t have to grow up on meals that were either pigswill or denied to him entirely.</p>
<p>He’d be...what, eighteen, nineteen by now?</p>
<p>Reading about Sanji and the adventures of the Straw Hats used to help her get through those punishments.</p>
<p>She sends a prayer to them now that Harp didn’t have to learn how to do that himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Otou-san, Okaa-san, and Gai-sensei are discussing something in low, serious voices when she comes back downstairs.</p>
<p>They quiet down for a bit when she steps between Lee and Naruto to get to the kitchen.</p>
<p>When she returns to the hallway, Gai-sensei pats her shoulder with a little too much force, shooting her a megawatt beam and a thumbs up.</p>
<p>“Do not worry, Jirou-san, Chie-san! I am certain that there will be no cause for concern for yourselves or Mayu-chan!”</p>
<p>Otou-san heaves a sigh. “We have every faith in <em>you</em>. It’s just—”</p>
<p>Okaa-san lays a hand on Gai-sensei’s arm. “<em>Please</em>, Gai.”</p>
<p>He solemnly takes her hand in one of his own, reaching out to grab her father’s arm with the other. “Everything will be as it always is. I swear it to you.”</p>
<p>The adults’ eyes seem to glisten as they stare at each other.</p>
<p>She glances at Naruto and Lee, eyebrow raised.</p>
<p>Naruto gives a quizzical shrug. Lee’s almost vibrating as he stares at their parents, eyes wide.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She hates to break up the moment, but there’s an elephant in the room that needs addressing.</p>
<p>She coughs a little. “Um, Okaa-sama, Otou-sama?”</p>
<p>Her parents look over at her, shoulders stiffening.</p>
<p>She worries the scar on her lower lip. “I, ah, just wanted to say, that if you need some time to-to process what I’ve told you, and you don’t want me a-around for it, I can get out of the house, go somewhere else for as long as you need me to—”</p>
<p>Otou-san and Okaa-san <em>stare</em> at her, expressions of pure horror on their faces.</p>
<p>Shit, has she really overstepped by that much? “O-or if you don’t want me to come back, I could always try to find o-other living arrangements for myself—”</p>
<p>“YOU FOOL!”</p>
<p>The slap to the back of her head isn’t nearly as painful as most of the blows she’s weathered during training, but the sheer surprise of the attack has her clutching it and looking up in bewilderment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gai-sensei looks madder than she’s ever seen him.</p>
<p>“...Or I could leave the village entirely?” She meekly suggests, unsure of what to say to appease her teacher’s anger.</p>
<p>“And when did anyone ever say they wanted you to leave?!” Gai-sensei booms.</p>
<p>What?</p>
<p>She blinks in confusion. “But I’m not who you thought I was, I have—”</p>
<p>“Are you Ketsugi Mayu?” Her mother asks, voice drier than an over-baked cake.</p>
<p>“Yes—”</p>
<p>“And do you enjoying cooking and feeding people?” Okaa-san walks towards her and leans down.</p>
<p>“Well, yes, but—”</p>
<p>“And you have an obsession with pirates that leads you to act without thinking a lot?” Her mother reaches out and grabs her cheeks.</p>
<p>“It’s not an <em>obsession</em>—” She feebly tries to argue through pursed lips.</p>
<p>“Then you are my daughter.” Okaa-san says. “And you are going to stay <em>right here</em> where I can see you, and we are going to lay down some <em>ground rules</em> about contacting strange deities, do you <em>hear me</em> young lady?!”</p>
<p>She’s so alarmed by the sight of angry tears gathering in her mother’s eyes that she just nods her head as best as she can in this grip.</p>
<p>Okaa-san lets out a little sob and then she’s being enveloped in a crushing hug by both of her parents.</p>
<p>Otou-san murmurs, “Our family stays together, damn what anyone may think. Even if we have enemies on all sides, the Ketsugi clan will weather any blows. Didn’t we already tell you that?”</p>
<p>Then she feels Lee and Naruto’s little arms squeezing her from behind, and the gentle weight that means Gai-sensei has joined the hug too.</p>
<p>“Please don’t go Mayu.” Naruto says, voice sounding small and scared. “<em>Please</em>.”</p>
<p>She can’t help it when she starts bawling like a little kid again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Unsurprisingly, they stay in for the rest of the day.</p>
<p>Naruto and Lee badger her to show them more of the “singy thing language”, so she writes out the alphabet for them.</p>
<p>It’s actually a bit difficult to translate individual letters back into the language of this world, which is based on grouping sounds that all involve vowels. The idea of singular consonants without that does take a bit for them to grasp.</p>
<p>Eventually she just grabs paper and some pencil and shows them how to write their names.</p>
<p>Lee’s name is easiest, and he delights in how quickly he masters the curves of the “r” and “e”s to write it out over and over again, each version getting a little bit more of a flourish.</p>
<p>Naruto struggles a bit more with his, given the larger number of letters in both his first and last names and his insistence on trying to write the cross of the “t” and <em>then</em> the stalk, like it’s a hiragana character.</p>
<p>“But why <em>can’t</em> I write it that way?” He whines.</p>
<p>“Because that’s not the way it’s written.” She replies primly, avoiding her mother’s knowing gaze and memories of being gently scolded for writing hiragana characters like they were “t”s.</p>
<p>Years of giving up pudding cups have proven that she’s weak to Naruto’s whining, so eventually she just gives up and lets him write it whatever way he wants to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s not long until the adults join in as well.</p>
<p>Okaa-san’s handwriting is flawless like her calligraphy, producing the most legible iterations of her name once she’s got the spelling down.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei produces the most written versions of his name, though that’s probably her fault for telling him his name could either be spelled G-A-I or G-U-Y. He seems to have decided to claim both spellings for himself, if his dedication to making sure he can write each properly is anything to go by.</p>
<p>Otou-san is just worrying over whether his name looks better with or without the “u” on the end.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei is also very interested in directions as well, for some reason. He makes her go over «left», «right», «up», «down», «behind», «ahead», «go», and «stop» until he, Naruto, and Lee have them all quasi-memorized.</p>
<p>Then her mother asks her about English swear words.</p>
<p>It isn’t until she’s finished running through them all and Okaa-san sweetly says, “If I catch you saying any of those, you’ll be banned from cooking for a week, alright?” that she realizes she’s been tricked.</p>
<p>Otou-san and Gai-sensei are awful at muffling their snickers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They end up preparing a very late lunch/early dinner.</p>
<p>Turns out divulging her biggest secret and trying to guide her family through the travesty that is the English language is long and hungry work.</p>
<p>A few filets of the lamb come out to rest for an hour, because Naruto asks about some of the dishes from her past life.</p>
<p>While the idea of making a Proper Roast Dinner on her own still turns her stomach, she figures she can at least adapt the meat into the “plate-2-bowls” format.</p>
<p>She crushes a clove of garlic and takes a generous donation from Habu-san to prepare a marinade. “So, any more questions?”</p>
<p>“What kind of training did you do in your Springtime of Youth?” Lee asks, eagerly.</p>
<p>She feels sweat trickle down the side of her face as she finishes marinating the meat and sets it aside to rest before grilling. “Ah, not much really. I was more the... <em>scholarly</em> type—I’d rather have my nose in a book than do much physical activity.”</p>
<p>The thought of her past self trying to tackle anywhere near the amount of exercise she does now...</p>
<p>“I would die.” She states. “That me would die even trying to do a half-lap around our training field.”</p>
<p>There’s a moment of silence that feels highly judgmental.</p>
<p>“...That’s kinda lame, Mayu-chan.” Naruto says.</p>
<p>“I <em>know</em>.” She hides her face in her marinade-covered hands. “Can we not talk about it please?”</p>
<p>“You were the one who opened the topic of conversation, sweetheart.” Okaa-san says, putting the rice on.</p>
<p>“Regardless of the folly of the past, your determination to fulfill your creed has allowed you to blossomed into the Springtime of your Youth!” Gai-sensei shoots her a thumbs-up and a reassuring beam.</p>
<p>She smiles back weakly as Otou-san starts wiping the bits of rosemary and garlic off her face with a wet cloth and a chuckle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After the marinade is cleaned off and the meat is grilling, she’s left to puzzle over what side dishes to make.</p>
<p>Traditionally, the lamb would be served with root vegetables—potatoes or turnips or swedes, parsnips roasted in honey—but alongside the rice, that many carbohydrates in one meal would be far too heavy, especially for the others who are used to smaller, more balanced portions.</p>
<p>Just as she’s wondering what to do, a bunch of green onions appears on the counter in front of her.</p>
<p>Her mind ticks over possibilities. They’re not leeks, but maybe roasted and served in miso soup...</p>
<p>She grins and grabs a knife.</p>
<p>The onions are diced into perfectly even rounds, sizzling to a perfectly browned texture before the dashi comes to a boil and tofu is cubed and dropped in alongside the onions and some dried seaweed to mellow the flavor.</p>
<p>Somehow a red cabbage appears under her knife, and is chopped into manageable slivers, joining orange slices without the skin and a light vinaigrette that tastes a little sharp, like lemon, on the plate.</p>
<p>The lamb filets come off the grill, each one a warm pink in the middle when they’re sliced against the grain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The scent of cigarette smoke is barely noticeable under the delicious smells of food.</p>
<p>The cuts of lamb are arranged against the little piles of salad, the umami of the meat and its marinade balanced by the more refreshing flavors of fresh fruit and vegetables.</p>
<p>The miso barely splashes as she pours it into six bowls, onion and tofu bobbing merrily as she spoons generous portions of rice into the rice bowls.</p>
<p>She turns around, ready to serve—</p>
<p>Only to find the other occupants of the kitchen staring at her, frozen.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei’s mouth is hanging open. Otou-san has a hand on his bokkem.</p>
<p>Lee’s eyes are wide and starry. Naruto’s mouth is curving into an excited grin.</p>
<p>Her mother swallows and takes a breath to compose herself. Her voice is slightly strangled.</p>
<p>“Mayu. Let’s talk about <em>boundaries</em> for y—for <em>those</em> deities to follow when they’re interacting with my little girl, alright?”</p>
<p>A shiver goes down not-her spine at the look in Okaa-san’s eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Late lunch/early dinner is delicious, even with the revelation that she had had help (<em>Sanji’s</em> help!) for cooking a lot of it.</p>
<p>According to Lee and Naruto’s enthusiastic descriptions, he’d actually <em>appeared behind her</em>, washed out and slightly blue and see-through, like an underdeveloped photograph, but <em>there</em>. He’d nudged ingredients towards her, steadied her hands while cutting and pouring, then looked over to them with a press of his fingers to his lips and a wink before vanishing just as she turned around.</p>
<p>She has to cover her face with her hands and turn to the side in her chair so she can kick her legs wildly at the thought of receiving Sanji’s unseen aid, let alone him actually <em>touching</em> her.</p>
<p>Her cheeks feel like they could melt snow, they’re so hot.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei volunteers to search all over Konoha in order to find Sanji for her mother, who is not very happy that the chef escaped before she could Have A Word with him.</p>
<p>To be fair, if she were Sanji, she’d probably run away before her mother could Have A Word with her too.</p>
<p>Lee is also on board with this plan, though both he and Gai-sensei are stumped when Naruto asks where to start looking.</p>
<p>Otou-san suggests they build a shrine for the StrawHats in the back garden.</p>
<p>“After all,” He says, swallowing a bite of lamb. “Providing these deities with a place of worship might help...ground them, somewhat, lessen anything nasty if they’re accidentally offended. It’ll give us a sure way to contact them whenever we want too, rather than just waiting for them to pop up willy-nilly.”</p>
<p>“An excellent idea, Jirou!” Gai-sensei cheers. Her father flushes bright red and shoves more food into his mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>On Monday, she goes to the Academy flanked by Naruto and Lee.</p>
<p>The masks are in the branches of practically every tree they pass.</p>
<p>She keeps her gaze on the ground and clutches Lee and Naruto’s hands a little tighter in her own.</p>
<p>Lee doesn’t seem to want to let go when it’s time for them to go to their separate classes. She gives him a hug, and that seems to placate him a little.</p>
<p>Naruto just doesn’t let go.</p>
<p>For the entire morning.</p>
<p>Even when it becomes difficult to write down notes for Iruka-sensei’s lectures, he holds on tight to her hand or her wrist.</p>
<p>She feels a bit bad for feeling grateful when they take their usual places at either end of the lunch table, but she was beginning to get worried he wouldn’t even let go if she needed to use the restroom.</p>
<p>Everything seems to pass as normal, even with Sakura’s strange behavior and Chouji’s continual bouts of summer flu. She’s getting quite worried about his health at this point.</p>
<p>They stay behind after the Academy day ends to ask Iruka-sensei about shrine-building. While he personally doesn’t know much about it, he very helpfully points them towards a few stores that do specialize in that sort of thing.</p>
<p>Okaa-san and Lee are waiting outside the gates to walk them home.</p>
<p>She sleeps in the big bed with Okaa-san and Otou-san like she did over the weekend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A week goes by.</p>
<p>Nothing out of the ordinary happens.</p>
<p>She trains with Gai-sensei in the mornings, they all eat breakfast together, she, Lee and Naruto go to the Academy, she and Naruto eat with their friends at lunchtime, either Okaa-san or Gai-sensei escort them home, the saga of convincing a store to sell them the components for shrine building continues, they eat dinner together, and she sleeps in the big bed.</p>
<p>The problem isn’t that shrine components aren’t available for sale. They are. There are even little kits for mini home shrines that people can build.</p>
<p>The problem is that those shrines are all designed to be dedicated to this random sage guy or to dead people. And she doesn’t really think it’ll be well received if they make a dead person shrine for any of the StrawHats except maybe Brook.</p>
<p>But making one of those for him and a different one for everyone else would also be discriminatory and break his heart. Except he doesn’t have a heart to break.</p>
<p>Yohoho, Skull Joke.</p>
<p>Only Otou-san finds that funny. She sulks a little, but digresses.</p>
<p>Even the store owners who make personalized shrines get suspicious when they hint that maybe they would like something for worship that wasn’t dedicated to the sage guy.</p>
<p>They’ve been turned down in three stores so far, and outright banned from one.</p>
<p>In her defense, she wouldn’t have said anything about the owner’s mother if he hadn’t called Naruto a demon and those other awful things.</p>
<p>She gets another cooking ban anyways.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>By the start of the following week, her parents don’t quite look at her like she’ll disappear if they take their eyes off of her.</p>
<p>Naruto and Lee stop keeping a death grip on her hands as well, though they do still hug her a lot more than they used to.</p>
<p>She likes the hugs, so she doesn’t bring it up. She’s mostly just glad she gets to sleep in her own bed again.</p>
<p>Chouji’s illness seems to be clearing up too, slowly but steadily. He still has a few hot flushes, but he’s a bit more alert now. When her current cooking ban is over, she plans on making him some chicken noodle soup to help speed up his recovery.</p>
<p>Shikamaru keeps laughing when she tries to enlist his help in identifying if there’s any flavors he particularly likes or doesn’t like, which is beginning to irritate her a little bit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sakura’s...not getting better. At all.</p>
<p>Ino’s face seems to be set in a smiling rictus these days, desperately trying to bridge the growing distance between her and Sakura.</p>
<p>Shikamaru and Chouji have been doing more stuff with her, like partnering up for group projects and walking home together, which helps a bit she thinks.</p>
<p>Naruto and Kiba are just on eggshells. Naruto is tiptoeing around them, trying not to do anything that sets off another scolding.</p>
<p>Kiba’s reached the stage where he’s yelling back in self-defense the moment Sakura turns to him and opens her mouth, though every argument leaves both of them looking even more miserable than before.</p>
<p>Hinata’s tried having a word with her, but she just reported back that Sakura either genuinely doesn’t seem to think there’s anything wrong or is doing a very good job of pretending.</p>
<p>She’s putting money on the latter, because the idea of the former being true is too unpalatable for her to swallow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The weirdest thing is that aside from Ino, Naruto and Kiba, Sakura’s been treating the rest of them like normal.</p>
<p>It does throw her off kilter somewhat. Still, she, Hinata and Shino do their best to adhere to their plan of “be civil, but shut down any attempts to belittle Naruto and Kiba before it gets too bad”.</p>
<p>Uchiha has surprisingly been the best enforcer of this particular policy. All it takes is one disapproving look from him, and Sakura freezes in the middle of what she was saying like a rabbit in front of a hunter, then quickly turns to talk to Hinata about something.</p>
<p>She’d never thought she’d say this, but borderline assaulting chunin together may’ve been the best thing to happen for the three of them.</p>
<p>Still, Sakura <em>is</em> their friend after all. They’re not just going to abandon her. Even if she’s going through...whatever this is.</p>
<p>She’s asked Okaa-san and Otou-san covertly, but apparently all is well in the Haruno household according to Kizashi and Mebuki Haruno, so she’s at a bit of a loss as to what could be going on.</p>
<p>It had better not be a weird, warped form of puberty, courtesy of parasitic chakra somehow turning people into jerks. She’ll—she’ll—she doesn’t know what she’ll do if it is, but she won’t be very happy, that’s for sure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To add to this confusion, this year boys and girls get split up for lessons after lunch.</p>
<p>The girls are taught by a different teacher to Iruka-sensei, a mousey woman with glasses who tells them that they will be learning how to blend in to civilian society as kunoichi.</p>
<p>She had no idea what that word means.</p>
<p>When she asks the teacher, the woman looks like she might burst into tears for some inexplicable reason. She then refuses Hinata’s offer of a tissue violently, as if the poor girl had offered her a bomb instead of something to blow her nose on.</p>
<p>It does not get better from there.</p>
<p>She’d anticipated that getting The Talk from Otou-san and Okaa-san, or from Gai-sensei, would be awkward enough. She thinks that even Gai-sensei would do it better than this teacher though.</p>
<p>At least he wouldn’t cry at every mention of the word “sex”. Probably.</p>
<p>She makes a mental note to give her friends the less confusing version later.</p>
<p>Hinata is constantly praised in this class for her ability to appear harmless and ladylike, while Ino is chastised for being too overtly “ninja”, whatever that means.</p>
<p>She gets told that, while her feigning ignorance is extremely credible and will serve her well on intelligence missions and under interrogation conditions, she needs to work on being less... <em>memorable</em>.</p>
<p>She’s...fairly certain that’s positive? Relatively certain. Kinda.</p>
<p>The way the teacher’s lower lip is set to a permanent wobble makes it hard to tell.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Something’s got to give eventually.</p>
<p>She just never expected it would be her.</p>
<p>It’s lunchtime, and they’re trying to navigate the strange, new dynamics that come from Ino trying to gain Sakura’s attention rather than the other way round.</p>
<p>She’s noticed that, despite bringing her normal lunchbox, Sakura has been picking at her food recently. As though she somehow finds it all somehow unappetizing.</p>
<p>It’s beginning to get a little worrying, so she brought something she knows the pink haired girl enjoys, just to make sure her blood sugar stays up at least.</p>
<p>She wordlessly holds out a skewer of dango to the pink-haired girl.</p>
<p>“Oh, no thank you.” Sakura says. “I’m on a diet—got to watch my figure you know!”</p>
<p>What.</p>
<p>“What?” Ino asks.</p>
<p>The wooden dango stick splinters in her fingers.</p>
<p>“<em>What</em>.” She says.</p>
<p>Over the blood rushing in her ears, she faintly hears someone go “oh no”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you mean, <em>diet</em>?” Her voice is as calm as she can make it.</p>
<p>Sakura flinches back, so she wasn’t as successful as she hoped she’d be.</p>
<p>Her tone is clipped when she replies, “You know, it’s not attractive to eat so much food, especially not unhealthy stuff. I’m working on fixing that. You should too, Mayu-chan, Ino-chan! We could be so pretty if we just lost a teeny bit of weight!”</p>
<p>
  <em>No wonder you don’t have a boyfriend yet Tamara, the way you scoff down food like a pig.</em>
</p>
<p>She stands up, chair skittering away from her. She doesn’t grab Sakura’s collar, but it’s a near thing.</p>
<p>“Do you know when it’s acceptable to be on a diet?” She hears herself asking. “If you have food restrictions that it will kill you to violate, like diabetes or lactose intolerance. If your religion has foods that it’s not acceptable to eat, like pork or beef or animal products. If you want to improve your health by eating food to supplement an increase in activity, to build up protein for your muscles and iron in your blood. But thinking it’ll improve your looks...”</p>
<p>She hisses, “Open your mouth.”</p>
<p>“Wh-what?” Sakura leans away, hand coming up to try and cover the mentioned body part.</p>
<p>“M-Mayu-chan, hold on—” Naruto tries to caution.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She grabs Sakura’s hand, yanking her forward.</p>
<p>At this distance, her teeth don’t seem discolored and her breath doesn’t smell like bile...</p>
<p>“At least you’re not «bulimic».” She grumbles, dropping the limb. “So it’s just «anorexia» we’ve got to deal with. Shit.”</p>
<p>“W-what are you talking about, Mayu-chan?!” The pink-haired girl demands. “Those—those words, wh-what do they even mean?”</p>
<p>“They’re shitty eating disorders.” She tries to keep ahold of her temper. If she doesn’t know any better, it’s okay. She can be taught, she can be <em>helped</em>. “«Bulimia» is where you compulsively overeat and then throw up the meal. «Anorexia» is denying yourself food altogether. Both are symptoms of mental disorder, and done under the delusion that shitty <em>starving</em> will somehow lead to beauty. So why are you <em>wasting food</em> for this shitty delusion?”</p>
<p>Sakura flinches at the words “mental disorder”.</p>
<p>“T-th-that all sounds made up!” She blusters. “E-everyone knows that boys like thin girls best! My mom and Ino’s mom and all of Ino’s mom’s magazines say so!”</p>
<p>She throws her hands up. “What are you even talking about?! What boys?!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sakura’s eyes glance to Uchiha and away.</p>
<p>“Oh. Oh Sakura, <em>no.</em>” She says, despairing. “You’re—”</p>
<p>“What?!” Sakura cuts her off. “Do you not think I’m good enough?! Is the <em>sidekick</em> too presumptuous for trying to catch up to the heroine and the rival?!”</p>
<p>Okay, now she’s just completely lost.</p>
<p>“Sidekick?” Ino says, hands held up placatingly. “What do you mean, sidekick?”</p>
<p>Sakura laughs, a high and shrill sound. “Don’t pretend you don’t know! That’s all I’ve ever been to you! Just-just following you around, with no strength of my own! If it weren’t for you, nobody would even <em>notice</em> if I disappeared! Nobody would care! They’re all <em>your</em> friends, not mine!”</p>
<p>Ino shrinks back. “That’s-that’s not true Sa—”</p>
<p>“DON’T LIE TO ME!” The pink-haired girl’s chest heaves for a moment before the all rage in her expression and posture just...vanishes. Like she’s slipped on a mask.</p>
<p>It’s more than slightly disturbing.</p>
<p>Sakura exhales, a sweet smile on her lips. “I’m going to be a strong, ladylike kunoichi heroine on my own terms. Strong enough to beat all of you. If any of you have a problem with that, you can just keep your stupid mouths shut.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So saying, she picks up her things and flounces to an empty table at the back of the room.</p>
<p>She pulls out a chair and resolutely turns her back to the rest of them.</p>
<p>There’s a moment of silence where they all stare at each other.</p>
<p>“...What just happened?” Naruto asks in a hoarse whisper.</p>
<p>She shrugs. It started out with vile words about diets and beauty that still set her teeth on edge, then went to Sakura’s awful taste in boys, then something about her not having friends?</p>
<p>That last one stings, honestly.</p>
<p>Ino curls into herself, looking miserable.</p>
<p>“She’s not a sidekick, she’s my friend, my best friend, but why, <em>why</em>—” The blonde girl looks up, pupil-less eyes lost and sad. “Am I a bad friend?”</p>
<p>“Nah.” Shikamaru says. “You’re fine. She’s just being troublesome.”</p>
<p>Chouji nods, reaching over the table to squeeze Ino’s hand and making gentle hushing noises as Ino’s shoulders hitch with sobs.</p>
<p>Sakura’s back twitches.</p>
<p>So she’s listening in then.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t get it.” Kiba complains, hugging Akamaru to his chest. “Why wouldn’t we want Billboard Brow to be strong? Isn’t she <em>already</em> strong anyway?”</p>
<p>“Ask Uchiha.” Shino says, stabbing a straw into his juicebox. “Why? Because he has repeatedly expressed disdain for Haruno’s abilities on the basis of her civilian status.”</p>
<p>“I have not!” Uchiha snaps. “It’s not <em>my</em> fault that civilians aren’t as prepared as clan ninja!”</p>
<p>“I rest my case.” Shino mumbles around his straw.</p>
<p>She massages the bridge of her nose. “Look, playing the blame game is not what we need right now. Not when she’s so intent on starving herself to death.”</p>
<p>“Is she?” Shikamaru asks, almost carelessly. “Our friend, I mean.”</p>
<p>There’s a quiet inhale around the table.</p>
<p>Sakura’s posture is tenser than a set tripwire.</p>
<p>“Of course she is!” Naruto slams his hands down on the table. “What kinda question is that?!”</p>
<p>“A rough patch is nothing to jump ship over.” She scoffs, biting into the spurned dango. “Usopp and Nami and Robin all had them, didn’t they?”</p>
<p>“And they all literally jumped ship.” Shikamaru mutters, though with less heat behind it.</p>
<p>“Gi-give her time.” Hinata murmurs diplomatically. “It’s-it’s <em>awful</em>, to be ho-hounded. Let her ha-have room to breathe.”</p>
<p>Ino blows her nose noisily on a napkin. Her eyes are bloodshot.</p>
<p>“Anything.” The blonde says shakily. “Anything she needs.”</p>
<p>Chouji leans over the table to give her a hug.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Anything she needs” turns out to be close to two weeks of pointed silences and increasing misery.</p>
<p>Poor Lee has it bad, because he wasn’t even there for the big blowup. Sakura will at least be civil towards him, but the tension between his crush and Naruto and her with no remedy in sight upsets him, though he does his best not to show it.</p>
<p>At least they’ve finally found a store that will sell them the materials and instructions on how to build twelve smallish shrines that can withstand the elements, so silver linings.</p>
<p>They just need to buy the right colors of waterproof paint and some offerings and it’ll all be ready.</p>
<p>Just in time too.</p>
<p>Now at lunchtime, she feels increasingly keyed up at the sight of Sakura’s steadily diminishing portions, getting more and more agitated until digging her nails into her legs is the only thing stopping her from marching over there and— and—</p>
<p>And at this point she’d almost be more worried if this <em>was</em> all her than if it <em>wasn’t</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It gets to the point where she pours it all out to Gai-sensei one morning during training, while Naruto and Lee are busy sparring.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei’s eyebrows furrow, and he’s quiet for a long time.</p>
<p>“Sometimes,” He says eventually. “My most cool and hip rival does not feel very youthful. There are days where he is fighting many battles in his head. So many that plenty of tasks become like perilous trials in his already burdened state. Do you know what I do?”</p>
<p>She shakes her head</p>
<p>He smiles. “I try to see what he needs. Some days, he needs privacy and time, so I give that to him. Others, he needs a reminder of the present, that the battles in his mind need not impede the Springtime of our Youth, so we undertake most youthful challenges together.”</p>
<p>He claps a hand on her shoulder. “Your rival is trying her best to blossom as you and Naruto and Lee have done. You merely need to be there as best you can for her, to judge whether it is prudent to give her time or to test her mettle against yours. Do not try to force it. A rival is an equal, someone who you trust to stand alongside you rather than someone you need to protect.”</p>
<p>“I’m not sure if Sakura’s my rival.” She admits, rubbing the back of her neck. “...but I thought we <em>were</em> equals. I just don’t know why she thinks that I don’t think she’s my friend.”</p>
<p>“You did say that her attempts to improve herself, however ill-advised, meant she was insane.” Gai-sensei points out.</p>
<p>What?</p>
<p>Oh.</p>
<p><em>Oh</em>.</p>
<p>“I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” She says miserably.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei ruffles her hair. “Not to worry, Mayu-chan! Admitting you have a problem is the first step to being able to rectify it!”</p>
<p>She thunks her head against her knees and groans.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So she’s made mistakes and needs to make up for them.</p>
<p>The only problem now is working out how.</p>
<p>It’s something she puzzles over for most of breakfast, and on their walk to the Academy.</p>
<p>Gai-sensei said to let Sakura “test her mettle” if she’d had enough time to herself.</p>
<p>And those terms she keeps using—sidekick, heroine, rival—sound like something out of a comic book or cheesy novel.</p>
<p>Wait.</p>
<p>Narrative roles.</p>
<p>The part of her that’s been trained to break down literature and rebuild it into a coherent thesis begins ticking over the possibilities.</p>
<p>She cautiously grins to herself. “I think I know how to help Sakura.”</p>
<p>Naruto and Lee look at her with naked hope in their eyes.</p>
<p>It’s like her favorite quote says: The value in fairy tales isn’t that they tell us dragons exist—but that dragons can be beaten.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fortunately for her, today is a sparring day.</p>
<p>Even more fortunately, her first opponent is Shikamaru.</p>
<p>He can see she’s up to something so he forfeits in record time.</p>
<p>When Sakura stands opposite her, she gives her best innocent smile while they lock fingers.</p>
<p>“Y’know, I still don’t get why you’re even interested in that guy. You’re about a million times prettier than him, you know.”</p>
<p>So that’s what pink hair looks like against a red face and thERE is a punch.</p>
<p>It’s wimpy compared to what she’s previously seen, no real force or form behind it. </p>
<p>“A-are your eyes working?” Sakura sputters, trying to regain her composure. “Of course he’s prettier!”</p>
<p>She grins, making no move to fight back beyond blocking or dodging. “Eh, you’re a ten out of ten, he’s a five on a good day.”</p>
<p>She thinks she hears Uchiha screech from the sidelines as Sakura tries to force her emotions back under the mask. She darts in and pokes her opponent’s cheek before darting away again.</p>
<p>The pink-haired girl makes a sound not unlike a whistling kettle and begins to chase her around the ring.</p>
<p>“You honestly think you can beat me as you are now?” She taunts, mentally cringing at the line. “You can’t win if you keep half-assing it. You’re better than this Sakura, I <em>know</em> you are.”</p>
<p>“No. I’m. <em>Not</em>.” The next kick actually whistles past her ear. “I need to get stronger so he’ll look at me. I need to get stronger so you and Ino-chan don’t get hurt again!”</p>
<p>She darts forward to flick her opponent’s arm. “And this is the best way? Constantly putting yourself down, starving yourself, playing weak to look “ladylike”? Could you even protect Akamaru by hiding your strength like this?”</p>
<p>A growl emerges from Sakura’s throat. “You wanna see strength? I’ll show you strength, shannaro!!”</p>
<p>She spreads out her arms, grinning. “<em>Finally</em>. C’mon heroine. Stop holding back and show me what you really can do!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sakura’s punch connects so hard stars burst behind her eyelids.</p>
<p>She stumbles back a step or two and spits the excess blood into her palm.</p>
<p>She blinks at the small white things that come with it, poking experimentally around her mouth with her tongue.</p>
<p>Chopper’s Rumble Balls.</p>
<p>Sakura’s actually knocked her front teeth out.</p>
<p>They’re only baby teeth, but <em>still</em>. She can’t really help her burst of slightly incredulous laughter.</p>
<p>And this—this <em>bubblegum bruiser</em> thinks she’s just the <em>sidekick</em>.</p>
<p>Whispery boisterous laughter echoes in her ears.</p>
<p>She feels like her grin is going to split her face in two.</p>
<p>The pink-haired girl is babbling, horror clear on her face. “Oh my gosh, Mayu-chan, are you okay?! I’m so—”</p>
<p>She holds up a warning finger. “<em>Don’t</em>. Don’t you <em>dare</em> apologize for that, Haruno. If you do, I’ll kick your ass, I swear to Luffy.”</p>
<p>Haruno Sakura stares at her, bewilderment, guilt and irritation flashing across her face.</p>
<p>Then she squares her shoulders.</p>
<p>“As if you could.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Iruka-sensei calls off the match then and there before they can really get into it, unfortunately.</p>
<p>He sends her inside to wash the blood out of her mouth once he’s reassured that it was only her baby teeth she’s lost.</p>
<p>He seems perturbed when she mentions putting the teeth under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy. Telling him that the Tooth Fairy gives good children money for more than one tooth doesn’t appear to help matters.</p>
<p>She gets back outside in time to see Sakura rush at Ino with a grin that bares all her teeth.</p>
<p>Ino, for her part, stares at her friend with something like amazed awe in her eyes, and only very narrowly dodges a black eye at the last second.</p>
<p>Their fight can only be called “dance-like” in the sheer synchronization of throwing blows. Otherwise it’s nothing that can be called elegant, or Nami, Robin and Vivi forbid, <em>dainty</em>.</p>
<p>It’s one of the most beautiful things she’s ever seen. She thinks they might even surpass Naruto and Uchiha’s fights in terms of passion.</p>
<p>And now she sounds like Gai-sensei.</p>
<p>Maybe time to quit her musings while she’s ahead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sidles up to Naruto. “How‘s Sakura?” She lisps quietly.</p>
<p>“<em>So awesome</em>.” Naruto breathes almost without realizing it, transfixed on the girl in the ring.</p>
<p>She pokes him in the side. He jumps and scowls at her.</p>
<p>“Kaa-san’s gonna ban you from cooking again, believe it.” He informs her.</p>
<p>“Not if you don’t tell she won’t.” She replies, doing her best imitation of his puppy-eyes.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna tell.” Naruto says immediately, the traitor. “And I’mma tell Tou-san and Gai-sensei that you stood there and <em>let Sakura-chan hit you</em>.”</p>
<p>She breaks out in a cold sweat at the thought of all the extra kata her father and Gai-sensei will put her through when they hear that she was messing around in a spar.</p>
<p>She flops forward at the waist. “<em>Ugh</em>.”</p>
<p>Naruto snickers.</p>
<p>She straightens up when Sakura and Ino begin screaming at each other about protection and supporting even really bad romantic endeavors and what sounds like the plot of a romance novel and standing side-by-side instead of in front or maybe in front is okay if they fight for it?</p>
<p>She doesn’t quite get what they’re saying.</p>
<p>Judging by their faces, neither do most of the Lunchtime Group, the rest of their class, or Iruka-sensei.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Well, even if it doesn’t quite make sense to her, Sakura looks a lot happier, if bruised and bloody.</p>
<p>That’s more than worth losing her front teeth and a week of cooking over, no matter how much the latter pains her.</p>
<p>She fiddles with the teeth in her palm, running her thumb over the root. They’re always so much smaller than it feels like they should be.</p>
<p>“Did people of your world really believe there’s a fairy that collects teeth?” Naruto mutters to her as Sakura lands the decisive blow.</p>
<p>“Kids were taught to.” She lisps back, doing a bit of mental math as the pink-haired girl throws herself into the arms of her downed opponent, the pair of them sobbing their eyes out. “You’d get, like, one ryō for three teeth.”</p>
<p>Naruto pulls a face that manages to be disgusted and delighted at the same time. “Your world is so <em>weird</em>, Mayu-chan.”</p>
<p>She tilts her head to the side and nods, as Ino and Sakura limp out of the ring and Kiba takes some of her weight as they head to the nurse’s office. “That’s fair.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sakura doesn’t join them for lunch that day, but she does move one table closer from the back.</p>
<p>The next day it’s two tables closer, despite the grumbles from some of the other boys in class as she perches at the end.</p>
<p>It continues in this pattern until Sakura’s sitting at the table behind them, pretending badly that she’s not interested.</p>
<p>She doesn’t quite understand why. The way Shino tells it, Kiba apparently broke Sakura’s window the evening after the spars by throwing a first aid kit through it.</p>
<p>Sakura’s parents thought it was a sweet gesture. His Ma was Not Happy.</p>
<p>Despite that, the pair of them came to school the next morning looking happier than they had for weeks. Ino and Sakura have been walking home together too.</p>
<p>Hinata turns around. “U-um, Sakura-chan?”</p>
<p>Sakura cocks her head, but no more than that. “Hm?”</p>
<p>“I-if it’s not too much trouble, w-would you like to si-sit with us for lunch?” Hinata says.</p>
<p>There’s a tense silence as Sakura tilts her head, considering.</p>
<p>The pink-haired girl exhales gustily. “Yes please, Hinata-chan.”</p>
<p>Naruto cheers as she gathers her things and sits back down in between Hinata and Ino.</p>
<p>“Hey, hey, Sakura-chan, do you wanna come over to Mayu’s this weekend? We’re gonna be painting shrines for the StrawHats, it’ll be really fun, believe it!” He asks eagerly.</p>
<p>Sakura’s brow furrows, but the smile she gives to Naruto is genuine. “I-I’d love to. Thank you for inviting me, even after...I-I’m really sorry I said...”</p>
<p>Naruto just beams at her. “S’okay! You’re our friend after all!”</p>
<p>She grins into her cherries as Sakura gets up to give him a great big hug.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That afternoon, they don’t have their usual lecture.</p>
<p>Instead, Iruka-sensei leads the class down the hall for a sneak peek at a new addition to the Academy curriculum that would be implemented next year.</p>
<p>“Now this comes from a new company based in Yukigakure.” He lectures. “They were kind enough to sell these weapons to Konoha at half the price they were selling to other hidden villages.”</p>
<p>There’s several large wooden crate, with heavily stylized kanji and a logo of four thin diamonds arranged in a strange pattern printed on its sides.</p>
<p>The kanji reads: <em>Tsuruku Industries</em>.</p>
<p>She’s not sure if that’s supposed to be a pun or not.</p>
<p>Iruka-sensei carefully lifts the lid off of the crate, and pulls out some of the packaging covering what’s inside as everyone crowds around.</p>
<p>“The Council has decreed that all Academy students from next year onwards need to be at least proficient in these as they are in kunai and shuriken to graduate. You all will still be on the old graduation plan, so your jounin-sensei will probably be the ones teaching you how to use them.” He explains.</p>
<p>Uchiha asks him something, but she can’t hear what it is.</p>
<p>She’s frozen at the sight of rows of gleaming black handguns and clear cases of bullets neatly packed into the styrofoam, all decorated with four thin diamonds.</p>
<p>She doesn’t think she can breathe.</p>
<p>«What the <em>fuck</em>.» She wheezes, before the world goes wobbly and sideways.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>She opens her eyes.</p><p>There are insects on her face.</p><p>Oh Luffy, there are so many insects on her face.</p><p>It’s only years of practice and the knowledge of how upset Shino will be with her that prevents her from swatting wildly.</p><p>“Why are there insects on my face.” She mumbles, moving her lips as little as possible and lifting a hand to her cheek so some of them can scuttle off and onto her fingers.</p><p>She doesn’t want any falling into her mouth on accident.</p><p>“Because my kikaichū are capable of injecting small doses of chakra into your system, which restores your reserves and helps return the body to homeostasis.” Shino extends his hand and the remaining insects begin flitting off her face back up his sleeves.</p><p>Her confusion must show on her face, because he sighs. “Chakra injections to help you wake up.”</p><p>“Oh. Thank you.”</p><p>Shino inclines his head as he retracts his arm, all insects safely retrieved.</p><p> </p><p>She struggles to sit up. One side of her head throbs a little.</p><p>“How are you feeling, Ketsugi-chan?” Iruka-sensei asks. “Do you feel dizzy or nauseous at all?”</p><p>She shakes her head. “No, Iruka-sensei.”</p><p>He purses his lips and tilts her head to the side, before pulling a small flashlight out of his jacket pocket and shining it in her eyes. “No bumps, and your pupils seem normal...what caused you to collapse, Ketsugi-chan? Can you remember?”</p><p>Her breath stutters in her throat at the thought.</p><p>“I don’t. Like them. The g— <em>them</em>. Those.”</p><p>Iruka-sensei blinks. “The weapons? They upset you?”</p><p>She nods mutely.</p><p>“Seriously?” Uchiha mutters. “First chakra and now this?”</p><p>“Sasuke-kun!” Iruka-sensei scolds, though his tone is slightly exasperated. “Well, if you feel bad again, be sure to let me know, okay Ketsugi-chan?”</p><p> </p><p>Her mind won’t stop racing, even after they return to the classroom.</p><p>How, how, how, how can those—those <em>things</em> be here?!</p><p>This world is supposed be a ninja story, where people use taijutsu and chakra and kunai and katana to fight.</p><p>She’s pretty certain none of the flame wars in her past life ever talked about any characters bringing shitty g-<em>firearms</em> to the mix.</p><p>And not just any firearms either.</p><p>Nothing like the older models found in One Piece and museums of her old world, where the bullet and gunpowder needed to be inserted separately into the barrel of the g— of the <em>weapon</em> before firing.</p><p>The existence of that older type of weapon here might make a small amount of sense at least.</p><p>No, those were high-tech, modern firearms, the kind with cartridges that are inserted at the bottom of the handle, with bullets that have gunpowder built into the casing, that are pointed so they can pierce—</p><p>She only narrowly keeps herself from retching.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto keeps shooting her worried glances as the day goes on.</p><p>He’s resorted to scribbling <em>what happened?? </em>on the edges of her notebook by the time the last lesson of the day draws to a close.</p><p>She does her best to placate him with weak smiles and shaking her head discreetly, but that seems to have the opposite effect judging by the way his brows furrow.</p><p>Shikamaru keeps staring at her as well.</p><p>However, it’s not the same as the concerned looks that Chouji, Ino, Hinata, Sakura, Shino and even Kiba keep giving her.</p><p>He’s staring at her like he knows something isn’t right.</p><p>Like he <em>suspects</em> something.</p><p>She does her best to avoid his gaze when they leave the classroom.</p><p> </p><p>Lee meets them outside the Academy.</p><p>His greeting trails off as Naruto grabs his hand and drags the pair of them over to the tree swingset.</p><p>“Naruto-kun, what’s going on?” He asks, brows furrowing.</p><p>“Mayu passed out when she saw the weapons from Yuki.” Naruto accuses, arms crossed over his chest and brows furrowed. “And don’t say it’s nothing, ‘cause you’re still pale and shaky. Not even chakra has ever done that to you, believe it.”</p><p>She glances down at her trembling hands. She squeezes them together to try and make the tremors stop.</p><p>“Mayu-chan.” She looks up when Lee claps his hands on her shoulders, staring her dead in the eyes. “<em>Are</em> you okay?”</p><p>She starts to nod.</p><p>Lee raises an eyebrow.</p><p>She doesn’t end up shaking her head but it’s a near thing.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m—” She cuts herself off. “I’m not alright, but. It’s not something I ca-<em>need</em> to talk about. Can we just go?”</p><p>Naruto’s brow furrows even further and he makes a face. It’s the same face he made when confronting Ami over bullying Sakura, or confiding his worries about Uchiha’s diet in her. It’s his “I’m not happy and going to do something about it” face.</p><p>Lee’s frowning too, now gripping her hands tight. “You can talk to us about anything, Mayu-chan. You know that, right?”</p><p>Unseen stares from the surrounding trees bore into her as she nods. She very carefully does not look up.</p><p>She flounders for something, <em>anything</em> to make them understand.</p><p>“It’s a <em>Tamara</em> thing.” She hisses quietly.</p><p>It takes them a moment, but then sweet, merciful understanding flashes across Naruto and Lee’s faces, the pair of them stiffening like they’ve been pricked with pins.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah! Is that so!” Lee’s laugh is too loud, too boisterous to anyone who knows him well. She prays to Robin that the masks don’t. “Well thank Luffy it’s nothing to worry about, right Naruto-kun?”</p><p>“Y-Yeah!” Naruto agrees, hesitating a fraction of a second too long for comfort. “You shoulda told us that’s all it was earlier, Mayu-chan, I was worried over nothing, believe it!”</p><p>She feels an eyebrow twitch, but tries to contort her expression into an apologetic smile. “Sorry, it’s just a little embarrassing, you know,” She fakes a laugh. “Girl problems and all that.”</p><p>“I see! Girl problems! Of course!” Lee says, clearly not understanding at all.</p><p>She takes a moment to wonder what exactly the boys <em>do</em> while the girls are in kunoichi classes.</p><p>Naruto loops an arm around her shoulders. “Yosh! Let’s get home then! Oka— Mayu’s okaa-san will be waiting for us, believe it!”</p><p>“Well said Naruto-kun!” Lee loops an arm around her other shoulder. “Yosh! Onwards!”</p><p> </p><p>The three of them frogmarch home, chattering loudly about nothing.</p><p>They could not be more conspicuous if they were dressed in animal costumes and singing a musical number.</p><p>The unseen stares following them now have an added side of judgement which she does not appreciate.</p><p>She’s already racing upstairs to grab her coats and yukata when they all tumble through the front door.</p><p>“Welcome ba—” Okaa-san gives her an odd look when she clatters back down the stairs, clothes in her arms. “—Mayu? What’s going on?”</p><p>“We’re home Chie-oba-san! Nothing happened at all!” Lee proclaims in the same breath as Naruto blurts, “Mayu passed out!”</p><p>Okaa-san blinks, then grabs her shoulder as she makes for the front door. “<em>Not</em> your nice yukata, young lady, I <em>just</em> finished ironing it again. Go get your towel instead. Then you’re all going to sit down here and tell me exactly what happened <em>calmly</em>. Understand?”</p><p>“Yes, okaa-san.” They chorus meekly</p><p> </p><p>Naruto calls dibs on telling his side of the story first.</p><p>She begins to regret letting him a few moments after he opens his mouth and launches into an embellished retelling of how she made a wheezing noise at the mere sight of the weapons and dropped to the ground like a broken mast, startling everyone and interrupting Uchiha.</p><p>He’s tearing up as he continues, “An’, an’ Mayu just wouldn’t wake up, no matter what, even when I shook her an’ everythin’ believe it, an’ Iruka-sensei yelled at me because he said I mighta’ hurt you worse, an’ then Shino did his bug thing an’ you woke up but you were still so pale an’ shaky an’ scared but you wouldn’ say anything, an’, an’—”</p><p>Okaa-san pulls him into a hug as he trails off into frustrated hiccoughs, rubbing his back soothingly.</p><p> </p><p>Lee’s grip on her hand is so tight it’s beginning to hurt a bit.</p><p>“Well, Mayu?” Okaa-san says, voice slightly strained. “Was that what happened?”</p><p>“K-kind of?” She shifts forward so she can give Naruto a one-armed hug. “Sorry I scared you, I was just...just really, really freaked out. I never meant to scare you too.”</p><p>“...s’okay.” He mutters into her hair. “Dun’ do it ‘gain, kay?”</p><p>She nuzzles into his shoulder, “I’ll try. Promise.”</p><p>Lee gives a cough behind her. “So...what alarmed you about those weapons, Mayu-chan?”</p><p>She stiffens, drawing back out of the hug.</p><p>“They— they aren’t right.” Her head throbs. “Maybe if it was earlier, a prototype model, maybe. But that kind of g—of <em>weapon</em> shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t even <em>exist</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Okaa-san’s brow furrows. “What do you mean by that?”</p><p>“I mean it shouldn’t exist!” She snaps. “This place prizes ch-chakra too much for their existence to make sense! You lot place a premium on throwing projectiles and close combat because chakra allows you to compensate. The existence of those kind of g— of <em>firearm</em> doesn’t make any sense, because there’s not a <em>need</em> for that kind here like there was in my world, it just, it just doesn’t make any <em>sense</em>, why is it here, why is it <em>here</em>?!”</p><p>Her breathing is ragged.</p><p>Her head hurts.</p><p>Everything’s so blurry she can barely see.</p><p>“Mayu-chan?” Lee’s voice sounds very small. “Does that mean those weapons are from your world?”</p><p>“I don’t wanna get shot again.” She chokes out. “I don—I—it hurt <em>so much</em> last time.”</p><p> </p><p>Lee hugs like he’s trying to both squeeze the pain out of her and shield her from it ever returning.</p><p>It’s almost painful how tight his arms are around her shoulders, but it does help ground her somewhat.</p><p>Then there’s softness pressing against her side and Okaa-san’s arm is curling around Lee’s shoulders to pull them both to her, burying her face in the crown of Mayu’s head.</p><p>Naruto reaches over and threads his fingers with hers from where he’s curled into Okaa-san’s other side, squeezing as hard as he can.</p><p>They stay like that for a long time.</p><p> </p><p>They startle when the front door snags on her winter coat when it opens.</p><p>“I’m baaa-ah? Darling, is the door broken?” Otou-san asks, poking his head through the small gap at the threshold.</p><p>“Welcome home Jirou-oji-san!” Lee waves.</p><p>“Otou-san! It’s coat and stair time!” Naruto yells. “You gotta come in right now, believe it!”</p><p>“Hang on, I need to get the door unstuck first!” Otou-san replies. “Hm...maybe if I unscrewed the hinges...”</p><p>Okaa-san gives a weak chuckle. “Mayu-chan, go pick up your coat before it rips or your father dismantles the front door.”</p><p> </p><p>Otou-san smiles at her when she opens the door properly, coat in hand. “I’m home, Mayu.”</p><p>“Welcome back, Otou-san.”</p><p>The smile drops slightly when he gets a good look at her, and he reaches out to brush a thumb over her temple. “Ouch. How’d this happen?”</p><p>She winces slightly at the pressure. “I fainted at the Academy. It’s...a long story.”</p><p>Otou-san gives her a searching look, then turns that stare on the interior of the front hall, where her raincoat and towel block the entrances to the kitchen and the living room.</p><p>He closes the front door behind him and lays her winter coat back at the bottom of the threshold. “Well, I’d better hear it sooner rather than later, hadn’t I?”</p><p> </p><p>She’s a little proud that she’s able to say, “I freaked out at the sight of the weapon that killed me in my past life” on the third try without blubbering.</p><p>Much.</p><p>Okaa-san drums her fingers on her arm. “How can you be sure that these weapons are from your world? After all, your world had katana and kunai and other weapons that are found here— maybe it’s just that our technology is beginning to catch up to yours.”</p><p>She shrugs in Otou-san’s hug. “I’d believe that if they weren’t so...so <em>modern</em>. This world relies on c-chakra a lot, which makes bladed weapons and thrown projectiles much more viable than they are in mine. We haven’t even been taught about the existence of g-<em>firearms</em> at the Academy before today. Yet, despite that, those things are just as if not more advanced than the ones from my world, with no <em>precedent</em>.”</p><p>“Yeah!” Naruto nods decisively. “What’s a preceden?”</p><p>“It’s when certain things have to happen first for something to exist.” Okaa-san explains. “Like you need to have eggs if you want to make omelette rice.”</p><p> </p><p>Otou-san hums. “You’ve never spoken to anyone else about your past life, have you Mayu?”</p><p>She shakes her head. “Only you lot and Gai-sensei. And I wouldn’t tell anyone about...those things.”</p><p>“Where <em>is</em> Gai-sensei, anyway?” Naruto asks.</p><p>“He has a mission today.” Okaa-san says. “He dropped by earlier to say he would be back in time for training tomorrow morning.”</p><p>Lee nods, smile small and happy.</p><p>Then he leans against Okaa-san, arms crossed. “So if the guns are from Mayu’s past life, but Mayu-chan didn’t have anything to do with their creation, how did they get from that world to here?”</p><p>She purses her lips. She’d like to know that herself.</p><p>Naruto closes his eyes and tilts his head from side to side, like a dog trying to listen to something. “Hmmm...a wizard...no, a mindreader...Iwa nin...hmm...Mayu’s evil twin...magic teleporting frog...”</p><p> </p><p>She snorts and opens her mouth—</p><p>Then freezes.</p><p>“Naruto, what did you just say?”</p><p>Naruto blinks. “Magic teleporting frog?”</p><p>“Wh-no! Before that!” She says, mind whirring a million miles a minute.</p><p>There’s a moment as Naruto’s lips work soundlessly, going back through what he said.</p><p>Then his eyes widen and he rears back. “What the heck?! Mayu—you—you have an <em>evil twin</em> and never told me?!”</p><p>“You think I would’ve noticed if that was the case.” Okaa-san mutters.</p><p> </p><p>“Kaa-san!” She yelps, flustered. “And no I don’t have an evil twin—that’s not the point!”</p><p>“What is it?” Lee leans around Okaa-san to stare curiously at her.</p><p>“It’s just an idea, I don’t have any proof for it or anything,” She gently digs her teeth into her lower lip. “But when Naruto said ‘evil twin’, it made me think what if—what if there <em>is</em> someone out there who was like me? What if I’m <em>not</em> the only one who was reborn into this world from mine?”</p><p>The room goes still.</p><p>“If such a person <em>did</em> exist, why would they do this?” Otou-san asks carefully. “Why manufacture and export these weapons, even if there’s no real need for them here?”</p><p>She shrugs. “Money? Power, maybe? I-I don’t know, I have no idea. It’s just— nothing else makes sense, does it?”</p><p> </p><p>There’s a sharp rap at the front door.</p><p>They all freeze.</p><p>“Dear. Gai said he wouldn’t be back from his mission today until tomorrow morning, didn’t he.” Okaa-san says.</p><p>Otou-san stands, one hand on his bokken. “Yes. He did.”</p><p>He moves towards the door, while Okaa-sama pushes them behind her, hissing, “Go upstairs to the door of our bedroom. Do <em>not</em> come down until we call you.”</p><p>After a moment, her towel and coats are lobbed up after them.</p><p>The zip on her winter coat smacks her in the lip.</p><p> </p><p>She pulls it off her head in time to hear her father faintly say, “...Nara-sama! What an unexpected surprise!”</p><p>“Geez, Nara-sama’s such a drag. Nara-san will do just fine.” The lazy drawl floats up to them as Naruto leans forward to try and get a glimpse of Shikamaru’s dad, towel wrapped around his shoulders like a cape.</p><p>“Thank you very much, Nara-san. Would you like to come in?” Okaa-sama asks as Lee fidgets with the zipper on her raincoat.</p><p>“Nah, we’ll be quick. Shikamaru here just wanted to check with your kid, see if this whole shrine thing tomorrow is still going on.”</p><p>“Oh! Well we haven’t discussed that with her yet, so we’ll call her down.” She only gets a brief moment to panic before Okaa-san is raising her voice. “Mayu-chan! It’s one of your friends from the Academy for you!”</p><p> </p><p>She shoves the coat behind her and traipses down the stairs.</p><p>“Hello Nara-san,” She says, a fake smile plastered across her face. “Hey Shika.”</p><p>“Yo.” Shikamaru replies.</p><p>His eyes still have that assessing quality from earlier.</p><p><em>He knows nothing</em>, she tells herself. <em>He hasn’t figured out you’re reincarnated, he doesn’t know there’s anything </em>to<em> figure out, please, please Sanji don’t let him figure anything out.</em></p><p>“So,” Shikamaru says suddenly, startling her. “How’s the head? It’d be troublesome if you woke up tomorrow too hurt to fix up the shrines.”</p><p>She touches the bruised area. “It’s a little sore, but I should be fine for tomorrow!”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure, Mayu?” Okaa-san squeezes her shoulders. “We could always reschedule for next weekend if you aren’t up for it.”</p><p>“But Okaaa-saaan,” There’s a series of thumps as Naruto slides down the stairs one step at a time. “We’ve been waiting <em>ages</em> for this! Oh, hi Shika!”</p><p>“Hey Naruto.” Shikamaru raises a hand.</p><p>“I’m sure,” She nods her head. “Plus I think <em>they’re</em> eager for the shrines to finally be done too.”</p><p>Okaa-san’s expression goes tight and unamused, like it always does when <em>they</em> interact with her without it being an emergency, or Mayu asking permission first.</p><p>It’s not quite fair because Mayu suspects they can’t really help it, and it’s not really anything too direct, just flashes of emotion that are a little too intense to be her own.</p><p>She’s just glad they’re excited about the shrines too.</p><p>Then Shikamaru says, almost too casually, “The guns really spooked you earlier, huh?”</p><p>She can’t help it. She flinches.</p><p> </p><p>Otou-san lays a hand over one of Okaa-san’s on her shoulder. “Ah, that...we were just discussing it with Mayu. We’re sorry for any worry her behavior caused, but...well...”</p><p>“But what?” Nara-san asks, one eyebrow raised.</p><p>Otou-san looks down, face twisted as if contemplating a difficult memory. “We don’t...enjoy talking about the journey from our homeland to Konohagakure. The...trials...we all had to weather. We’re just thankful we all made it here in one piece.”</p><p>Okaa-san nods and returns Otou-san’s doting smile, pretending to discreetly dab away tears with the sleeves of her kimono.</p><p>Shikamaru’s eyes widen slightly and he shifts, scratching his cheek and looking away.</p><p>It’s all she can do to not gape at the scene.</p><p>Are they—are they insinuating that her reaction to those things stems from their escape from Iron to hide her reincarnation? To the Jounin Squad Leader of Konoha and his son, no less?</p><p>She gives silent thanks to Franky and Robin.</p><p>She has the <em>best</em> parents in this world. The <em>best</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“So the fact that the manufacturer of these weapons is based in Yukigakure comes as no surprise to you?” Nara-san says.</p><p>Otou-san <em>jolts</em> behind her.</p><p>Then after a moment, he sags, scrubbing one hand over his face. “You know, it really doesn’t. Does Yamanaka-san know?”</p><p>“He knows.” Nara-san nods, seemingly disinterested. He does a much better job of faking it compared to Shikamaru.</p><p>She glances back and forth between them, but there’s nothing on either man’s face that gives away any meaning to these non-sequiturs.</p><p>At least Shikamaru’s calculating look isn’t directed at her anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, he squints at Naruto. “Why are you wearing a towel?”</p><p>“Uh.” Naruto says, eyes darting to her.</p><p>
  <em>Usopp help.</em>
</p><p>“We...were deconstructing a pillow fort! In my room.” She lies.</p><p>“A pillow what?” Shikamaru asks, eyes...oddly bright.</p><p>“A pillow fort! It’s where you take a whole load of pillows and blankets and towels and stuff and you create a fort using chairs and tables, or a chair and your bed if you have a raised one.” She explains.</p><p>Shikamaru nods, like this is only logical, though his expression has gotten even more weirdly intense for some reason. “Is that so? What do you do once you’ve built it?”</p><p>She shrugs. “It depends. You can just hang out in it and tell stories? Or nap?”</p><p>A slow, almost vicious smile spreads across Shikamaru’s face. He turns it upwards towards his father, who’s gone a worrying shade of grey and is staring at her like she’s pronounced a curse on his clan.</p><p>“<em>Why</em>.” Nara-san says, tone despairing. “<em>Why</em> would you tell <em>him</em> something like that exists?”</p><p>She shuffles so she’s partially hidden behind Otou-san. “...Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>Nara-san sighs, tugging gently on Shikamaru’s ponytail. “C’mon you. Let’s get going before you get any more ideas.”</p><p>“Actually, Nara-san, I have a quick question.” Okaa-san steps forward. “Would it—would it be acceptable for me to write to my relatives in Water Country? Perhaps inviting one or two of them over?”</p><p>She blinks up at her mother. She knows she has relatives in Water, but this is the first she’s heard about potentially meeting them.</p><p>Nara-san cocks his head to the side. “Writing a letter isn’t a crime. Inviting them here, to this village, for a visit...that’s more dicey.”</p><p>Okaa-san nods, chewing on her lower lip. “I suspected as much. Is that the same for all of Fire Country, or...? Ideally, we wouldn’t want to travel very far from Konoha.”</p><p>“Ideally.” Nara-san sighs again. “There are some villages nearby that might suit your needs. For now, I’d just put in a request for mail delivery at the mission desk. They can help you with any questions you have from there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you very much, Nara-san.” Okaa-san bows at the waist. “I hope you and Shikamaru-kun have a pleasant afternoon.”</p><p>“You too.” Nara-san bobs his head and takes Shikamaru by the shoulder. “C'mon, say goodbye.”</p><p>“See ya.” Shikamaru says, inclining his head like his father before the pair of them begin to walk away.</p><p>“See you tomorrow, Shika!” Naruto calls.</p><p>“Remember to wear clothes you don’t mind getting paint on!” She yells after him.</p><p>Shikamaru raises a hand in acknowledgement, before turning back to say something to his father.</p><p> </p><p>Otou-san lets out a heavy sigh once the door is closed. “Right. Lee, could you bring the coats down with you?”</p><p>Lee obligingly comes down the stairs with both coats in his arms. “Are your relatives coming to stay, Chie-oba-san?”</p><p>“Maybe not to stay.” Okaa-san says. “But hopefully my brother Ikei and cousin Mei will get to meet you all.”</p><p>“All? You mean me, an’ Lee an’ Gai-sensei get to come with?” Naruto pipes up as he finishes setting down the towel, a huge grin spreading across his face.</p><p>Okaa-san beams and gathers the two of them into a hug. “Of course. I can’t let them leave without introducing them to three of my four favorite boys, can I?”</p><p>Lee’s eyes are shining and Naruto’s grinning and giggling. Otou-san leans over Okaa-san’s shoulder, pouting playfully. “Then what am I?”</p><p>“You’re the fourth favorite, of course.” Okaa-san teases, planting a kiss on Otou-san’s cheek.</p><p>Her mother turns and shoots her a small smile. “I also thought we could ask them it they’d met anyone who behaves...well, like you do. We’re a large merchant family spread all over, so it’s not unlikely that one of them has met someone in your circumstances without knowing it.”</p><p>“It’s not a bad idea, considering there’s likely one in Yukigakure.” Otou-san says glumly.</p><p> </p><p>They all turn to stare at him.</p><p>“Dear? How do you know that?” Okaa-san says.</p><p>Otou-san shakes his head and sits down heavily on the stairs. “The manufacturer for those weapons is in Yukigakure. Just like the incriminating ryo left at the scene of that theft.”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>
  <em>Oh sweet Merry.</em>
</p><p>She mutters, “Shika said—when we were talking about the theft, he said it had to be an inside job, because an outsider couldn’t know anything. But if they <em>were</em> like me—if they’d read the comic based on Konoha in their past life, they <em>would</em> know. They’d know almost everything even if they never set foot here.”</p><p>She swallows, throat suddenly dry. “If it was plot-relevant, then they’d know more about what was valuable and how it was defended than people who’d lived here their whole lives. They’d even know the weaknesses of the ninja sent after them, if those ninja were major characters.”</p><p>Otou-san nods. “And if he or she needed to finance the manufacture of those weapons, what could be easier than to steal something from here and sell it to another hidden village?”</p><p> </p><p>She sits down heavily on the stairs.</p><p>Her heart’s pounding too fast. The side of her head is throbbing in time with the beat.</p><p>“Well.” Okaa-san coughs. “That’s mildly terrifying.”</p><p>She lets out a humorless chuckle at the understatement.</p><p>Horror wars with elation in her brain. Elation at the knowledge that she isn’t alone here.</p><p>Horror at the idea of someone knowing everything about this place and deciding to use that knowledge for their own gain. If robbing Konoha wasn’t low for them, would they stoop to manipulating Naruto, Sakura, Uchiha? To hurting them to get their way, change a narrative they don’t like?</p><p>“But Iruka-sensei said Yukigakure gave us those guns for less money than they gave them to other villages.” Naruto says suddenly. “Maybe that’s the not-Mayu’s way of making it up to us?”</p><p>“You think villains who would commit such an unyouthful action would be capable of feeling guilt?” Lee says doubtfully. “Shouldn’t we tell Gai-sensei about this?”</p><p>“We can.” Otou-san sighs. “But I’m not sure how helpful it would be. Nara-san said Yamanaka-san knew about the Yuki connection between both the theft and these “guns”. For all we know, the price reduction could be a concession negotiated between the Hokage and the thief, and we just have a morsel of knowledge about that deal which would endanger Mayu more than it would help the village.”</p><p> </p><p>She fidgets, tracing the scar on her lower lip.</p><p>Lee’s brows are furrowed, his mouth pulled down in a frown.</p><p>Okaa-san reaches out and smooths a hand over his hair. “Why don’t we get Ichiraku’s and sleep on it? I think Sanji would agree we’ll all make better decisions with some ramen in our bellies.”</p><p>Naruto springs to his feet. “Yeah! Ramen’ll fix everything, believe it! C’mon, I’m hungry, let’s go, let’s go!”</p><p>It doesn’t quite fix <em>everything</em>, she reflects later as she descales and fillets the pike for the offerings tomorrow. There’s still another reincarnated person who robbed the village, had her father take the fall for their crime, and is now mass-producing the very weapon that killed her past self, which they can do next to nothing about.</p><p>But ramen smoothed out the crease in Lee’s brow when they all agreed it was better to tell Gai-sensei than not. It lightened the mood and made everything this day had thrown at them seem a little less important in light of the celebrations planned for tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>Their small garden is now even smaller thanks to the a large wooden structure that sits next to the back fence.</p><p>It’s a bit like a cross between a shed and a greenhouse, if it only had three walls and no doors or windows. The roof is curved and the walls are sturdy, to protect the shrines inside from the elements.</p><p>There’s a length of thick white rope fastened with red twine inside the front gable, which is meant to ensure that the shrines are protected from malicious spirits.</p><p>Each one of the shrines has a small building that is sealed automatically once the shrine has been assembled, keeping a small object for the deity to inhabit safely locked away from prying eyes. There’s a small recess before this structure, for offerings to be placed, and a little column that puts them above the eye level of a kneeling person.</p><p>They’d debated setting aside a space for the shrines in the living room inside the house, to ensure they could be protected and cared for. But she kept getting impulses of <em>outside</em>, of <em>wind</em> and <em>rain</em>, <em>freedom</em>, that eventually they decided it was better than keeping them cooped up inside.</p><p>Plus this way, Luffy can’t raid the fridge as easily.</p><p>She’s already found certain small cuts of cooked meat have gone missing. If he’s anything like the manga, then she’s not giving him the chance to clean out the entire fridge.</p><p>They’ve been working on constructing it and the shrines on weekends and in the mornings during training. According to Gai-sensei, it’s excellent practice for C-rank missions.</p><p>Now all that’s left is to paint the structure and the ten shrines housed within.</p><p> </p><p>Working out what to set out as offerings for tomorrow had been a challenge and a half.</p><p>For the most part, the Strawhats can be grouped into small sections of what they will and won’t eat.</p><p>Nami and Chopper are fruit lovers. Sanji, Zoro, Brook and Usopp are partial to seafood. Luffy, Franky, and Robin are happy with beef and other land-based meats.</p><p>However, Zoro, Sanji and Brook like varieties of seafood that are difficult to get in Konoha— octopus, lobster and prawns are expensive and hard to find, while sea king meat just doesn’t exist here. At least Zoro is happy enough with a traditional plate-2-bowls meal with rice.</p><p>Robin prefers sandwiches, and she’s not quite sure if the burgers Franky loves fit into that criteria. Chopper can’t stand spicy or bitter foods, but Zoro and Robin dislike sweets.</p><p>She’s just thankful that Luffy, Nami Usopp, and Merry are so easy to feed. Pike’s one of the few fish that Konoha doesn’t need to import, so it and tangerines relatively inexpensive.</p><p>There’s no chance of combining all their preferences into one dish. Her head hurts just imagining the clash of flavors.</p><p>So she had to somehow come up with a way of creating a meal that would (hopefully) make each of the pirates she idolizes happy.</p><p>No pressure.</p><p> </p><p>Chouji ended up being her savior in this respect.</p><p>And maybe Uchiha did as well, but only a teeny tiny bit.</p><p>She’d been brainstorming different versions of meals she could try making that would satisfy everyone, but kept coming up short.</p><p>The added tension from Sakura’s friendly-again-but-still-not-quite-sitting-back-at-their-table thing at this time wasn’t exactly helping her think either.</p><p>“I’ve got cola, coffee, tea, heck even sake, but still no idea on what to pair any of them <em>with</em>.” She complained, tapping her pencil against the list in front of her.</p><p>Chouji had leaned over, a thoughtful look on his face. “Why not make them lunchboxes? That way you can make lots of things in smaller amounts and personalize each lunchbox for each of them.”</p><p>“Hm. That <em>is</em> a good idea.” She gnawed on her lower lip. “Only downside is working out when I can cook what and how much time the preparation of each portion is going to take so everything in the bentos is relatively fresh for when it’s offered... how much d’you think eleven more lunchboxes would cost?”</p><p>She’d just begun sketching out lines for a tentative timetable when Uchiha complained, “Why do you think you’ve gotta do everything on your own?”</p><p>She looked up, a little offended. “I’m not praying for help with <em>this</em>, are you mad? That’d be like asking someone to bake their own birthday cake.”</p><p>“What Sasuke <em>means</em>,” Chouji intervened. “Is that we could always split the work three-ways between us, and bring it to your house on the day?”</p><p>She blinked. “You...you guys would help me like that?”</p><p>Chouji smiled, then made a squeak of surprise when she lunged over the table to hug him tightly. “<em>Thank you.</em>”</p><p>“I have lunchboxes to spare.” Uchiha drawled. “Plus someone’s got to make sure you don’t mess up.”</p><p>She had then let Chouji go so she could boot Uchiha in the shin.</p><p> </p><p>As a result of this arrangement, when she wakes up on The Day, all she has to worry about is preparing the pasta for Sanji, Nami and Usopp’s lunchboxes after training with Gai-sensei.</p><p>She’s almost worried that her timining be a little delayed because Gai-sensei grabs her in a bone-creaking hug when she arrives at training and spends about three minutes weeping over how youthful she is.</p><p>He then makes them run fifty times around the village balancing the paint pots they’ll be using later to ensure that the paint is agitated enough “so its most YOUTHFUL colors will shine through!!”</p><p>They nearly lose the purple when Naruto fumbles slightly over a root.</p><p> </p><p>She bolts down her food at breakfast.</p><p>She puts on more rice again in preparation for the sesame onigiri, and pulls out a pot to fill with water that’s set to boil and a pan to gently heat some oil on the stove.</p><p>She smashes a clove of garlic and drops it in when the oil has begun to smoke gently, deseeding and dicing up some chilis and tossing them in as well for flavor.</p><p>She can’t help her grin when the heady spicy-savory scent fills the air, finely chopping capers and anchovies to toss in once she’s fished out the smashed garlic.</p><p>The scent mellows somewhat when the diced pike hits the pan as well, and she pushes it around until the fish is almost-but-not-quite cooked through.</p><p>Then in with a generous glug of wine and the heat is turned down to a gentle simmer to let the alcohol cook off.</p><p>Just in time for the rice to have cooked and cooled enough to begin mixing with yellow and black sesame seeds and begin forming into ten onigiri.</p><p>They don’t have any fillings other than the sesame, because they’re designed to take the edge off the stronger flavors of the pasta (her) and the takoyaki (Chouji), as well as serve as a substitute for a sesame topped bun accompanying the hamburger steaks (Uchiha).</p><p> </p><p>The others begin to arrive at around ten.</p><p>Sakura and the Harunos arrive first alongside Ino and her dad.</p><p>She shouts a hello as Naruto and Lee lead Ino and Sakura through the kitchen to the back garden, nails orange with peeled tangerine.</p><p>Ino darts forward and steals two slices, chortling in response to her indignant “Oi!” and passing one to Sakura, who grins as she nibbles on their way out.</p><p>Yamanaka-san is totally at home chatting with Gai-sensei and Otou-san, but he snickers when Nara-san immediately gravitates towards him when he arrives. Shikamaru gives her a nod as he follows the adults outside and she puts the pasta on to boil.</p><p>She’s set aside two extra tangerines for when Shino and his father arrive. After all, she, Chouji and Uchiha are making enough to feed eleven deities and many many people, so shouldn’t their insects also be able to eat as well?</p><p>Shino’s dad stares at her inscrutably when she explains her reasoning, before accepting the fruit with a nod and a “thank you” barely audible over a loud buzzing.</p><p>Shino shifts from one foot to the other during this exchange before gently tugging his father’s sleeve. It occurs to her as she drains the pot-full pasta and adds the sauce alongside a cup of boiling water to emulsify everything that this might be the closest she’s ever seen him to being embarrassed.</p><p> </p><p>Chouji and his dad arrive as she’s sprinkling in some parsley as a finishing touch.</p><p>They’re both carrying huge containers full of takoyaki and cooked spring greens, and she spares a small moment to be envious of all the amazing things Chouji’s family can afford to do.</p><p>Then she launches Chouji another hug to thank him for all his help once he’s set his cargo down.</p><p>He squeaks like he did last time and Akimichi-san laughs loudly, for some reason.</p><p>Iruka-sensei and Uchiha arrive with eleven lunchboxes, two dogs, Kiba and his mum, and Hinata in tow.</p><p>Uchiha keeps sneaking what appear to be morsels of meat to Akamaru and Kuromaru.</p><p>There’s also a pale-eyed frowning boy who Iruka-sensei introduces as Hyuuga Neji, Hinata’s cousin who’d been sent along to act as her chaperone.</p><p>The boy sniffs disdainfully when they greet him and goes to stand in a corner of the garden near Mebuki, completely ignoring Lee when he waves to him.</p><p>She doesn’t think she likes Hinata’s cousin very much.</p><p> </p><p>The lunchboxes Uchiha brought are black lacquer decorated with gold and red tomoe, much fancier than anything she’d been expecting.</p><p>When questioned, he just shrugs and says, “It’s just old stuff from New Year’s. It’s just taking up space at home, so it’s better off here.”</p><p>She knows better than to say anything like “sorry”, so she just pats his shoulder and says “No, that compartment’s too small for the onigiri, put it in this one.”</p><p>“That’s way too big, it looks tiny in that one.” Uchiha snaps, but with a bit less bite than usual.</p><p>Iruka-sensei looks mildly overwhelmed by all the people in the back garden. Okaa-san comes along, hands him a drink, pats his shoulder and says “They’re <em>in my house</em>,” in a sympathetic tone.</p><p>Iruka-sensei gives her a pitying look and knocks the sake back in one go.</p><p>Adults here can be <em>weird</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Finally they’ve finished serving and she calls out “Food’s up!”</p><p>The adults come in to help take the larger platters of food outside, a huge plate of pasta, several smaller hamburger steaks in the style of what they’d call “sliders” in her world, and mound upon mound of takoyaki and spring greens and tangerines. There’s a clamor outside as people begin getting their portions.</p><p>She, Chouji and Uchiha are each balancing either three or four lunchboxes per person as they take them outside.</p><p>Sakura is helping Kiba paint a pattern of cherry blossoms across Chopper’s already vibrantly pink shrine. Evidence of her handiwork on Robin’s shrine is clear is the decoration of swirling petals and the streaks of matching purple paint all over her forehead.</p><p>Ino and Naruto obviously have had a battle over the orange judging by the splashes on their hands and clothing. On the plus side Nami and Luffy’s shrines are looking particularly colorful.</p><p>Shikamaru and Hinata are splotched with green, light blue and black-and-white. Lee is smudged with brown, cyan and white paint and beaming proudly.</p><p>Shino has yellow paint on the end of his nose and is looking at the detailed illustrations of insects on the sides with pride.</p><p>The only shrines that aren’t quite done are Sanji’s, which has a blue overcoat but no decoration, and Zoro’s which doesn’t have half its roof painted yet.</p><p>“We were waiting,” Naruto says, holding out two buckets of green paint and blue respectively, “For you guys to add your bits.”</p><p> </p><p>She beams at him.</p><p>Of course, Uchiha has to ruin it by immediately grabbing the green.</p><p>“What?” He says, offloading his three lunchboxes onto Kiba. “I’ll give it back once I’m finished with it.”</p><p>Ino rolls her eyes and shoulders her paintbrush, adding another orange splotch to her outfit. “<em>Ugh</em>. I’ll help Mayu-chan, it’s better to get it done quickly. Let’s go before the food gets cold.”</p><p>Orange, red, and yellow fish on the blue background are much more vibrant and eye-catching than green, though Uchiha does “help” by flicking the paintbrush at her while she’s distracted.</p><p>In thanks, she smears yellow on the back of his neck.</p><p>After the extra decorations are finished, Lee, Sakura and Kiba redistribute the lunchboxes to make their offerings.</p><p>The only problem is there’s eleven of them and ten lunchboxes.</p><p>“You all go ahead.” She steps back. “I’ll do the next bit.”</p><p> </p><p>Each one of them place the pirate lunchboxes down in front of the shrines and step back.</p><p>For some reason, she feels like traditional prayers and chants appropriated from the sage guy won’t really be all that welcoming to them.</p><p>But then, what? What could help them feel at home at these shrines, so far from the sea?</p><p>Her gaze falls on Brook’s shrine.</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Oh, well it’s obvious when it’s put like that, isn’t it?</p><p>She just hopes she remembers the words correctly. She doesn’t want to butcher them on accident.</p><p>“<em>Yohohoho, yohohoho~ Yohohoho, yohohoho~</em>”</p><p>Her voice sounds frail and quiet, and she can feel everyone’s eyes on her. Still, she stumbles through the last two refrains of yohohoho’s to the first verse.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Binksu no sake wo, todokei ni yuku yo, umikaze, kimakase, namimakase~ Shio no mukou de, yuhi wo sawagu, sora nya, wao kaku tori no uta~</em>”</p><p>Naruto joins in on the next verse, singing along slightly out of tune and mixing up some of the words.</p><p>His cheeks look as flushed as hers feel, and it’s hard not to giggle when they catch each other’s eyes. Somehow they both manage to keep singing.</p><p>Gai-sensei and Lee boisterously shout <em>DON</em> alongside them as they join as well, Gai-sensei’s voice strong and sure, while Lee’s volume makes up for any deficiencies in wording. She almost can’t hear Okaa-san’s melodious voice and Otou-san’s decidedly tone-deaf one join in on the second set of Yohohoho’s over their noise.</p><p>Sakura and Ino’s voices are both high-pitched, but they carry the tune well enough. So does Kiba, though he’s pitching up to a falsetto for some reason. Hinata’s voice is soft, but she’s genuinely singing, unlike Shikamaru and Sasuke who’re mumbling through all the bits apart from the yohohoho’s. Shino is monotone if precise and enthusiastic, while Chouji has a surprising set of pipes on him.</p><p>Akamaru is just howling to the beat. And with that accompaniment, how could anyone stop themselves from singing along?</p><p> </p><p>It feels like more people than could possibly fit into their house and garden are bellowing Bink’s Sake together by the time they’ve reached the third set of Yohohoho’s.</p><p>It can’t exactly be called “harmonious”. Everyone’s a little out of tune, a little off beat.</p><p>But the mixing of all the voices of her family and friends feels so right, it makes her voice stronger, lets her sing louder.</p><p>She opens her eyes and nearly chokes on the next note.</p><p>Hovering in front of the brightly painted shrines, slightly faded but gaining color and substance with every passing moment, They stand.</p><p>Merry appears in all her glory, as if in mid- sail. Brook is playing his violin, a foot tapping to the beat. Franky is winding up for his SUPA pose, grinning broadly. Robin is resting a hand on Chopper’s hat. Chopper himself is peeking at them the wrong way round from Robin’s leg.</p><p>Sanji’s tapping out his cigarette with a grin and giving a small salute. Usopp is waving to them, like a captain would to his 8,000 followers. Nami’s blowing a kiss as if to adoring fans.</p><p>Zoro...is climbing over the garden fence and jogging to take his place in front his shrine next to the others. Nami shoots him a Look while Luffy laughs at him, sitting in mid air and clapping his feet together.</p><p>The Captain of the Straw Hat Pirates then turns to her and gives her a wide grin.</p><p>She blinks away tears as he and his crew fade away with the last notes of the song.</p><p> </p><p>The food in the lunchboxes is gone.</p><p>The food on Naruto’s plate is also gone.</p><p>In fact, all the food in the immediate vicinity appears to be gone.</p><p>It’s just that Naruto looks back at his plate and yells in indignation first.</p><p>She lets out a wet laugh. “Darn it Luffy.”</p>
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